tobynutter

😕 Dr, I have a problem 🧑‍⚕️ What seems to be the matter? 👀 It’s, rather embarrassing… 🩺 Not to worry, I’ve seen it all before 😔 Well, I… 🧑‍⚕️ 😐 I can’t hear the word ‘super’ without breaking into a delightfully theatrical version of ABBA’s Super Trooper 😳💃

Assless chaps: men who find it hard to sit down.

Making a quiz. Who can guess the song?

You know in ‘Horny’ by Mousse T, when she sings “I sent a message through the Internet but it rejected”? Do you think she’d been blocked by the recipient, or had she just typed their email incorrectly? Interviewer: We meant do you have any questions about the job.

Postscript: Apple Maps seems to still be fun: maps.apple.com/?address=Aveni…

So if any of the half dozen active followers I have ever make it to the southern tip of Lanzarote, please go find the spoon (last seen here) and petition Google to reinstate this cultural hotspot! /fin

Google Has Lost All It’s Fun: a short thread. In January 2019 I spent a week in an all inclusive hotel on the southern tip of Lanzarote. I’d worked a lot and wanted some sun during the cold bleak winter break that TV used to precipitate. 1/9

@swearclock Hey, @fesshole called, they want their tweet back

May The Smell Of My Cat's Arsehole Haunt You Forever After She Waved It In Your Face In A Complimentary Manner When You Only Called In To Read The Gas Meter. It's 5:00AM

Hello darkness my old friend

Be an icon like Dame Maggie Smith and give zero f***s 💕

Cards against humanity’s website explaining why they’re suing Elon is pretty fucking good

@heybove Oh wow! What do you use it for?

@tobynutter Media Composer 2.8.3. I still have an original Adrenaline system I access on occasion.

Hello, old friend. It’s been a while. How you been?

@thanksihateitca There are not enough heart eyes emojis for this guitar 😍😍😍

LP3’s gettin weird