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Okay I'm deleting my pinned again. Go my gif

check this out *i start blowing bubbles in my soda and a waiter immediately notices and starts furiously making his way around tables toward us, shoving people out of the way*

光るネズミ キラキラと揺れるおヒゲ

@iddunn0 uou

@tolutation todays the day we kill uou

Oh i... i didnt know we would be seeing you here today, dell.

@iddunn0 whats your porblem

@tolutation i watched you tweet this you psychopath whats your porblem

this thread the funniest shit ever

Damned if you do damned if you daniel

👁️👄👁️

I’m losing my mind LOL I was looking for like…news stories that cover dentists offices, as a proof of concept thing for work... and stupidly googled “dentist news story” & was served this story about a dentist’s office that was getting threatening letters but this was the letter

(guy who doesn't know you can turn calculators upside down) hey man look at this... I've put in 58008, right. Now stand on your head real quick

They’re naming a Syndrome after me

When I get home from work I take an hour and a half to decompress by picking my nose nonstop like a maniac and I practice flicking boogers at my dog like a COD trickshotter

It’s ok to smoke around ugly babies.

I can hear the scream of every beer I've ever drank haunting me

at the ratstaurant rn. little rats everyhwere running around between tables bringing food to people. waiter just scurried up the tablecloth and said he was cheesed to meet us. place fucking rocks

Stapling lukewarm oatmeal to my ankles