Travis Vaughn

having an intrusive thought and shaking my head to show the mind readers that I don’t approve

boomers are like hey honey wanna go out to a restaurant and cough a lot.

drinking 13 beers is actually good for you if they’re served at a sunny outdoor seating

stirring up my poop in the toilet with a yardstick

The name ‘craig’ is clearly a product of white psychosis

Dewey and Reese

ive shot ropes in gas station bathrooms you wouldn't dare piss in

My bad, I thought you said 2 Brilliant dollars. No i dont have that much

euro step #and1 #fuckrorymcilroy

they should be glad my ass never got into figure skating i’d be doing performances set to Car Seat Headrest

they should add stories to the taco bell app

Wasn’t gonna drink tonight but fuck this news has hit me hard, hope you’re doing well pal 💙👊

the way i knew what he meant as soon as he sent that last text 😭

Official Seahawks Playoff Update: Just received confirmation from my contracted spiritual advisor (my witch on Etsy). The Brock Purdy hex is officially active for Saturday. 🧿✨ Best money I've spent in a long time.

got a buddy who is praying for world war 3 so he can win $390 on polymarket

Three day work week

Fuck the Northern Lights 🖕 I'd rather look at my phone 💯

Another day down the drain #IDontGiveAFuck #LetsDie