Trey

“one ticket please” “for what movie?” Me:

Finally looked at those student loans

No one: Kristi Noem’s husband:

💸💸💸

I genuinely need to know if he committed suicide or crapped his pants can anyone clarify

Chappell Roan isn’t real, it’s a modern baba yaga myth meant to scare misbehaving children. Brush your teeth or Chappell will get you

MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is St. Patrick’s Day.

Q: You don’t regret that people might’ve lost important income to support their lives? A: No, I think it was more important to reduce the federal deficit. Q: Ok. Did you reduce the federal deficit? A: No, we didn’t.

Dick Cheney walked so this guy could run

has anybody done this yet

Your mother is remodeling her home don’t take this moment from her

Cricket’s revenge.

@jaredpolis This has to be a fucking joke

Last week, former State Senator Sonya Jaquez Lewis was sentenced to probation and community service after being convicted of four felonies including Attempt to Influence a Public Official. She made a horrible mistake, and she was wrong. I hope she learns from this and can rebuild her life. As someone who has known Sonya as a friend for many years, on a personal level I was glad to hear she isn’t going to prison which is a hard place for anyone, no less a retired 68-year old pharmacist. But it is not lost on me that she was convicted of the exact same felony charge as Tina Peters — attempting to influence a public official — and yet Tina Peters, as a non-violent first time offender got a nine year sentence. Justice in Colorado and America needs to be applied evenly, you never know when you might need to depend on the rule of law. This is the context I am using as I consider cases like this that have sentencing disparities, which is why I have extended the deadline for clemency applications until April 3rd. I will be making decisions on these cases throughout the remainder of my governorship.

This morning I called James and congratulated him on becoming the Senate nominee. Texas is primed to turn blue and we must remain united because this is bigger than any one person. This is about the future of all 30 million Texans and getting America back on track. With the primary behind us, Democrats must rally around our nominees and win. I’m committed to doing my part and will continue working to elect democrats up and down the ballot.

@DanieltheWitz You in the office today

Pausing my whole work day so I can tell every gay person I know about this

It’s her

I have a name

How it feels to type in ur email and password with a remote

Me when a man stretches and you can see his happy trail