DustyM

@catralathegreat @OliLondonTV El mono se queda!

@OliLondonTV Aunque el mono se vista de seda…

Lauren Sanchez mocked for her ‘basic’ and ‘busty’ Met Gala dress despite being married to a man worth $280 billion. ‘Amazon Basic.’

@RealJamesWoods First post from you that has shown up on my feed in weeks. Are you noticing less reach in your posts as far as the algorithm goes?

We aren’t hoping to kick out Somalis or other Africans. We just want the lawbreakers gone, which would, of course, include you, dear brother-humper.

@JeffFletcherOCR Guy on third didn’t touch plate and was out on appeal.

Here's a riddle. Bases loaded. Two outs. Batter gets a hit. No runs score. What happened?

@lucyshow11 Pizza Hut. 1983. They didn’t introduce the deep pan pizza until 1980.

Where are they and what year is this? 🤔🤣

How did your portfolio do in March?

@BarackObama ACA wrecked my insurance. Can’t even see a doctor anymore only nurse practitioners. It’s a total joke. You will be remembered for this utter failure.

The day the Affordable Care Act passed was one of my proudest moments as president, because it meant that millions of Americans would have access to health care, some for the first time. The ACA also prevented insurance companies from denying people with pre-existing conditions coverage, allowed young people under the age of 26 to remain on their parents’ plan, expanded Medicaid, and so much more. But the ACA was always meant to be a first step. We still have to do more to expand access and make health care more affordable for everyone.

Over the years I've had several sponsorship offers and moving forward I still don't need them. I appreciate it, but no offense, we don't need the money or corporate control over my content. This is the way. Your views and shares is all I need.

@DefiantLs Interesting way to cover up male pattern baldness.

Just a warning that the end might creep you out

@Matt_Pinner Cujo

Help me out: I need a highly specific, aggressively masculine name for a tiny Chihuahua puppy. Nothing cute. I'm desperate.

Robin Williams had done his set and left the comedy club. Soon after he walks back in annoyed. I said what’s going on? He said his car wouldn’t start. I go maybe I can help. I know absolutely nothing about cars. He doesn’t know that. I just wanted to make him think I was helping him. So we go outside. He’s got a Range Rover. We open the hood. He’s leaning in swearing. I'm looking around. Nodding. Like I’m a mechanic. I have no idea what any of it is. After a minute I say Yeah… I don’t have my tools with me. You might need a mechanic. Then I said Robin, can I give you a ride home?

@lawyer_memes Just say good morning and stop being a dick. You probably billed him 6 minutes for that too. Asshat.

A junior said "Good morning" to me in the elevator. I checked my watch. It was 11:00 AM. I looked at him. "It's almost lunch," I said. "You're three hours late to the concept of morning." He tried to explain he'd been at his desk since 7. I interrupted and told him accuracy matters more than intent. I emailed his reviewer suggesting he take a CLE on time management. He apologized later. I didn't reply. I forwarded the apology to HR as proof of his inefficiency. Greetings are risky. He learned an important lesson. Never speak to a partner in the elevator. Unless spoken to.

@MrPitbull07 Fail.

We went to a dinner as a group and had a $500 bill. We tipped $40. We were happy we can be able to give our server something, but her reaction was the opposite. She told us she assumed we're going to give her at least $120. When we asked for the manager, she said she was just joking, but she wasn't smiling at all. Idk, but is $40 tip enough for $500 bill? I just feel like expecting $120 is not realistic. ~Lea Robertson

@landofthe80s Steve Martin. Not really close.

One funny guy has to go, who gets the boot?

@3YearLetterman Yum yum sauce

I literally cannot name one thing that Japan 🇰🇷 does better than America

@3YearLetterman Been down hill ever since John Candy died.

I literally cannot name one thing that Canada does better than America

@libsoftiktok But does he carry hot sauce in his purse?

Gavin Newscum just told a crowd of black people that they’re stupid and can’t read I can’t believe this is real Democrats are insanely racist

@AntiWokeMemes A mental hospital will have the right bathroom for you.

@ScienceExpand So on earth we use a coffee cup with a lid. Can send NASA one if needed.

NASA's Coffee cup designed specifically not to spill in zero gravity

Liberal woman says she’s putting a disclaimer on all her wedding invitations that there’s zero tolerance for bigotry, “That includes homophobia, transphobia, racism, sexism, xenophobia”

@JoelPie86351068 @FoxNews 1000%. Turned her off after non stop yelling at me.

@FoxNews I just turned off Hannity. I can't take this nonstop Guthrie stuff anymore. You have a bunch of people on saying sames BS over and over. AND NO MORE OVER ACTING, DRAMA QUEEN NANCY GRACE. She is by far the most annoying. Who TF made her an expert.

CALL FOR HELP: People with information about Nancy Guthrie's disappearance are asked to contact 1-800-CALL-FBI