Turf Benson

Hey guys I made this t-shirt in case you want to be the biggest douchebag at next year's Seder.

Recording engineers wash their clothes with Gain, probably.

@CombatGent Would love to try one of your suits, any plans to go larger than 48?

@theotherjc513 @theafghanwhigs Was that a Pegboy intro to last night's encore? Been trying to place it... Great show, wish you'd play in AZ.

@raygarciadeleon Sadly, no. To quote Mike Myers (when he was funny): She was like Sputnik. Spherical, yet quite pointy in parts.

Great night. Dinner w/ the fam, then to park w/ 9 mo. old niece - she loves fountains. Saw a man and woman, umm, not wearing pants. #OldTown

How long til Daniel Day Lewis "Lincoln" footage gets mashed into one of those "Angry HItler" yelling things? #Lincoln

Just saw a guy walking down 75th Street with a giant dildo under his arm like it was a folded-up newspaper. #OldTown

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Imagine a WalMart built inside DFW Airport. That is people-watching at the library. It is awesome.

I know, dude. I, too, am shocked that the library only has 2 books about Jeff Gordon. Probably not worth raising your voice over, though.

Guaranteed that the guy in camo pants and fire-truck red cap will be disappointed to not find "The Protocols of the Elders of Zion."

Apparently my prior tweet about Brother Mouzone in a trenchcoat got lost in the ether. It's June in AZ, so a trenchcoat seems reasoanble.

The meth-y version of Cersei Lannister keeps walking by, eye-fucking me. I am not your meth-y brother, lady. Piss off.

Pretty sure HBO gets all their characters from the library. Brother Mouzone just walked by in a trenchcoat. June in Arizona - makes sense.

Lady (cont.): "I've written a new poem about the current president. I'd like you to send this to the Library of Congress as well."

Lady: "I wrote a poem for the Reagans that they enshrined in Library of Congress. It was about the Statue of Liberty's head."

I tried to resist, but I can't. Folks, live tweeting "Me At The Library" is happening now.

Headin' out to see where the night moves take me. Been a while since I rocked it solo. I don't need a wingman when Bob is my co-pilot.

Last cool day in the desert til October. Going to town,windows down, @TheAfghanWhigs' Black Love up.