Bryan Spears

Today the daily mail lost. GB news lost. The BBC lost. The Telegraph and the times lost. The establishment lost. The racists lost. The people won 🔥

Word of the day is ‘recrudescence’ (17th century): the return of something terrible after a time of reprieve.

@EoinKeane101 @linzicolls

our flight was cancelled and all passengers are in the same hotel in singapore. spent the whole time at breakfast doing this to anyone i recognised from the airport x.com/SoozUK/status/…

Anyone else being followed around by this ad for this stylish tshirt or

@Criminalsimpson @meganellisisgod

@SamLee318 @meganellisisgod

If you have less than 5 representatives in the #Olympics #OpeningCeremony

@scottygb My sixth servant, Scott

@notDcfcBoss @AyBow

@NiecyOKeeffe @AyBow

Stalker who sent Harry Styles 8,000 cards is jailed and banned from gigs Some of the cards were wedding-themed and two of the letters were hand-delivered to the pop star's address nme.com/news/music/sta…

@sopranos_vibes @benkeat5

“5.2 magnitude earthquake in New Jersey? I heard it was Ginny Sacc falling out of her chair”

@_mrpussy @mattygerman25

"pro tip: cover the sound of your fart by dropping something"

@justinkirkland4 @linzicolls

Everyone criticizing Princess Kate’s photoshop job needs to calm down. She’s going through so much right now—for example, she’s dead.

@Campbelllfc New concept for a pub in town - toilet seats

New concept for a pub in town: a good quality pint, which is served in the appropriate glassware. Fiver max. Scampi fries. Jukebox. Decent bog. Not an Irish bar.

@AccidentalP @benkeat5

@Criminalsimpson @meganellisisgod

Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized ENTIRELY within your kitchen?

Ex footballer needs to promote their podcast

Nailed it.

“There’s been a crash in Paris…”