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Congratulations you have successfully made it to the end of May. Welcome to Jumanji Level 6. Hurricane Season

The government said fuck it let them know aliens exist we might not be here next year

what do i look like to u? a silly goose?

Watch out for love (unless it is true, and every part of you says yes including the toes)

I found a video of a duck falling asleep and I’m convinced it’s the cutest video ever

I have tried to stay out of the gangster life but it's hard when your wife is getting ready to load up her purse with oranges and yogurt cups at the Holiday Inn Express and she tells you to watch the door.

Tbh(Thinkin’ bout Halloween)

damn dude this night is good as af, might fuck around and go gently into it

my dad used to get so mad every time my mom would come home w a new coffee mug (she likes to collect them) and her new bf literally built her a wall to display her collection. this is why we don’t settle for loser boys, ladies!!!!!

Hate is heavy

I remember way too much

just ate the fattest broccoli i feel so healthy and strong might go punch a mountain

catch me gardening topless at 5am telling my baby tomato plant about my bad dream

Take care, balance and bloom🌿

There is a reason for every season