Brittney Perry

My kid every night 🤣

obsessed with this response from shane bieber’s wife kara to this loser guy😭

Pioneering the “Irish Hello” where I turn up unannounced to a friend’s location

Thinking about the time our high school English teacher gave us a poem to analyse When we finished she told us it was Donald Rumsfeld’s WMD press conference, and that was the class

ai can’t write good because it’s designed to write pleasantly average sentences with all the right words in the right order and imho good writing requires u to strategically deploy a word that is wrong and maybe even evil

I don’t think enough has been written about what we lost in 2016—not because Trump became president (that part we know), but because HRC did not. She was, by far, the most qualified non-incumbent ever. Because she’d already lived in the White House for eight years, there would have been no learning curve. She would have hit the ground running. (Like, she knows where the light switches are in the residence!) No candidate was ever more prepared for every aspect of the job. She is excellent in small groups. She wins people over because she’s brilliant and humble. She had great ideas that would have actually helped people most in need of help. And she had the savvy and the determination to implement them. Hillary Clinton would have been one of the greatest US presidents. That’s a hill I will die on. And our country hasn’t properly mourned this being stolen from us.

6yo (to her crying brother): "It's okay to be sad, sometimes we need to let our feelings out, just let yourself be sad." Me: "Oh darling, that's so lovely, well done. Why is he crying?" 6yo: "I hit him."

A dinosaur convention is doing more to punish those in the Epstein files than the entire America government.

Aliens (completely bewildered): so the groundhog Me: is clairvoyant, yes

There are people who hate clutter and there are people who love to make little piles everywhere that they will get to later and these people marry each other.

Literally

💯 Me. 😅😅😅😅

Have we considered a lifelong Accelerated Reader program where grown adults in their 30s and 40s can get free movie tickets and better airline seats if they read books

When I shampoo my four-year-old, it sounds exactly like I’ve always imagined a Civil War–era amputation would sound with no anesthesia.

It turns out the biggest set of testicles in DC is on the 74 year old math geek.

The most based father in recorded history.

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the cancelled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?