Evan Wildstein

@chris_herd Will see you, and raise you:

The President will be taking a bathroom break from 3:15-4:45pm ET. #ThingsPeteHegsethTextedMe

Today I made a huge mistake with our child in the car. Against all the known logic in the world, I stopped the vehicle completely at a red light. What ensued was a horrific, completely unavoidable, predictable toddler meltdown. Parents, learn from me. Do better, be better.

When childless people in their 20s and 30s tell me they’re tired, I’m like, yeah you probably are. These are exhausting times. Hydrate and have a nap.

We absolutely adore your baby and toddler clothes, @BurtsBees. But the placement of these poop-looking nut designs near the butt was… hilarious?

Y’all gotta put baby changing tables in the men’s rooms, @Cheesecake. Some of us dads do that whole “caring for babies” thang.

I beg you, @HomeGoods, stop with the impossible price stickers. We’ll pay more for regular, easy-to-remove stickers. We’ll pay double. The hours it takes to destroy three fingernails plus a vat of @GooGoneBrand isn’t worth it to save seventy cents on this jar of honey.

@thelauracoates It’s pronounced “Bear” County 😂 But emphasizing the X in “Bexar” is much cooler.

@oakley these have been my trusted running glasses for 28 years. How long is y’all’s warranty? 🥹

@amandanat Keeping nonprofiteers healthy (emotionally and otherwise) through servant-leadership.

Shoot your shot, friends! Who's looking for speaking opportunities? For podcasts, webinars, conferences, etc. In a single tweet, reply with: - Your expertise (the more niche, the better) - Why we should trust you :) - How people can reach you

@amandanat Reminds me of these billboards in Texas: Does Marketing Work? Just Did! Sorry, what?

“It’s a good ad because, hey, you’re talking about it!” I hear this all the time. And I don’t think I agree with it at all. What are some examples of often talked-about ads that brought success or failure for a brand?

@amandanat The “four tooth smile” has a major leg up on the gummy smile. I have spoken.

I’m devastated. My baby now has teeth. No more gummy smiles. 😭

@ThatChristinaG Seeing Petty was one of the accidentally happiest moments of my life. I could’ve seen Queen and didn’t — big regret.

Who's the one artist/band that you could have seen but missed your chance and deeply regret it. Could be because they broke up, died, or stopped touring. I'll start: Tom Petty.

Unsure what this is, @ChipotleTweets, but it’s not a burrito.

@Adam_Karpiak “Is the hokey pokey really what it’s all about? Please share your logic in a systems thinking model.”

job applications are exhausting

@amandanat @TurnerNovak As someone barely over 5feet, I still marvel at how much head room is in those autos. It’s like I’m sitting in a camping tent.

@TurnerNovak Maybe because some of us watched the Italian Job many years ago, some of us liked that movie, and some of us just like Mini Coopers, ok?! 😤

I will never understand why someone would willingly buy and drive a Mini Cooper or PT Cruiser

@amandanat Acktshually……

Most people don’t want a discussion on social media. They just want to say they’re right.

@smerconish it’s gross, not net.

@Smillew_Rahcuef In my 40s; still waiting.

how long was your longest streak of happiness?

@amandanat One of my finest contributions to the Internet

imagine what you could do if you had Shen Yun’s marketing budget

@ImKaitlynMeyers Stop dating her.

You meet your 18 year old self and get to tell them exactly three words. What do you say?