Phil Binder

check out my column in LA times

my neighbors watch Seinfeld or Friends every. single. day and it annoys so much it could be an episode of either of these shows.

@nbcchicago @OpenBarnett

Navy confirms UFO videos posted by Blink 182 rocker are real and should not have been released nbcchi.com/9iePdYK

Please stop leaving electric scooters inside my office. I couldn’t get to my private bathroom today because there were too many scooters. I had to pee out the window. This is conduct unbecoming any citizen of Fingerdale, much less the mayor. Thanks, #TheMayor

🔴 UPDATE! 🔴 I have some exciting news to share – KNUCKLE SANDWICH has signed with @SUPERHOTTHEGAME's new label, SUPERHOT PRESENTS. This means I'll be receiving the support I need to get this game DONE. 🍑 Read more about it on my Kickstarter update: kickstarter.com/projects/brphy…

today my barre instructor saw me naked and it was like an artist gazing at her masterpiece

Hi WRITERS, PRODUCERS, and EXECS Over the past ~2 years @benmekler and I have written: - 5 seasons of serialized tv - 2 features - 2 pilots - 1 blind deal at DreamworksTV We love writing and working with new people so reach out if we should meet! #WGAStaffingBoost

TV showrunners, I developed and co-ran an animated saga for a major streaming network. I can't mention the show bc it's not announced yet (thus the grainy pic of me and my partner) but I want to give a #WGAStaffingBoost to all the great writers on my staff, who you should know.

I think Sonic will be Greatest Showman level good.

Pilot was a finalist @austinfilmfest in 2017, a robot sex comedy. Writes and produces original half-hour MONTHLY @PackTheater called Super Dating Simulator. Anime and pro-wrestling nut. Have samples and 2 original #animated decks currently pitching. #WGAStaffingBoost

Hi, my jokes are so good that they got me a blue check mark, but I’d like to write for a late night show! #WGAStaffingBoost

If you want someone with range in your writing room, pick me! I write everything from biting satire of DHS to silly fake reviews of #StarWars' asexual male nudity. Scripts, packets, bits, I've got anything you could want. Check some out: @frankiegbaby" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">medium.com/@frankiegbaby #WGAStaffingBoost

Hey @TheBrandiRhodes how bout a female as #theLibrarian in @AEWrestling? Stay out of this @CodyRhodes @MattJackson13 @NickJacksonYB & @KennyOmegamanX. I only like smart people like @IAmJericho. #AEW

@OpenBarnett @ChrisAmick Hi friends!!!!

@ChrisAmick plz make sure @winkphantom knoz

Not to brag, but this is how my cats sit every day

@ChrisAmick @OpenBarnett ok I’m going to work as an accountant please take care of our mansion while I’m gone

@OpenBarnett @winkphantom this is the sims?

tell me my hottest age!

@ChrisAmick @OpenBarnett HI WHATS THIS WEBSITE IS IT EBAUMSWORLD.COM

@OpenBarnett @winkphantom I saw that rascal today! Hi rascal!

STAND-UP AT #PACKCON3 ! We have an insane line-up of comedy Sat. at 6pm. Hang w/ us ALL NIGHT LONG!

@squishcomedy how will I know when you are in the room with me?

Today I announce with great sadness that, due to licensing issues (and constant complaints from my live-in nanny), I can no longer play “Hearts On Fire” by John Cafferty & The Beaver Brown Band any time I enter a room. Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated. Thanks, #TheMayor

here’s what I’ll say - too many people came to the screening of love bacardi boston

@estevangalvez @jamieloftusHELP @PackTheater I’ve seen this a million times

@jamieloftusHELP @winkphantom @PackTheater she's my baby blunt bitch

.@jamieloftusHELP and @winkphantom showed us a student film called "love. bacardi. boston" at their @PackTheater show "chill" last night and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life