Christian Flynn

The October issue of Penthouse, now on newsstands, contains a picture billed as, quote, "The Alien: The World's First Authentic Photograph." A survey of Penthouse readers finds that sixty percent think the photo is a fake, while only forty percent think it's real. All one hundred percent however found it, quote, "surprisingly easy to masturbate to."

@van_gone_ Shit smear incoming

They nailed the shit eating smirk tbf

He hasn’t brought any poop bags on the walk. Make his dog take 8 shits

He's trying to plug in the USB cable. Make it not fit. Now that he's flipped it, make that not fit as well. Good, he's flipping it back to the original orientation. Make it slide right in.

drinkers know when the liquor store closes. alcoholics know when it opens.

“He just showered. Make him take a dump.”

This is the kind of shit Godspeed You! Black Emperor would use as an album cover with a title like "And the Holy Flame Blinded us for 333000 Years Pt. II"

Hantavirus confirmed. The return of coffin dancers 😭😭😭

The Fairy Glen, Isle of Skye, Scotland

My brother is paying me $100 for every Wu-Tang lyric I use in grandpa's eulogy today. Scriptures about to hit the body like sawed-off shotties!

David Attenborough spent over 70 years teaching humanity about earth; he just turned 100. Thank you David, you're a light amongst the darkness.

How long after contact does RFK eat a Reptilian’s coaca?

Australia is not a serious country. Actual legal tender: