Sorta.Maleficent

If you get me at my hockey tweets you can have me.

I didn’t do it and you can’t make me

post on twitter just to prove you're still alive.

I think of you now and then … I forget to remember Again

#LGI but also let’s go Ovi @ovi8 @NYIslanders @Capitals

H: I don’t know if that’s true M: which part? H: the part where you started talking

I’ve never not floated the idea to come back also leave again

Happy Halloween 🕷️

Byeee 2023 … I’ll be with Billy Joel to usher you out.

[cracks knuckles] time to be angry on the Internet

I hope we all have a good death.

Me: you pick Him: I like that one Me: not like that

@TheRealWhistler S’ok, mine has so many wrinkles I won’t remember

@xosm I'm stealing this 🥰

Come talk to me when your brain has more wrinkles.

The remaining Twitter users.

Being married means never having to say you’re angry. You can clearly articulate it just by the way you breathe.

I also enjoy magnets with inspirational quotes holding up my unpaid bills. “Hang in there” holding my pathology invoice.

@xosm welcome back 🥰

My husband and I are going away for the weekend. He just came downstairs and asked me if he needed to pack “restaurant clothes.” He is 55 years old.

Before you become a parent, ask yourself: Would I like arguing with a small version of myself EVERY DAY?