Cat From Nowhere

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

For some reason I suddenly feel like playing checkers so I can say "King me!" and they have to do it. Tyranny ensues. Muahahaha!

You don't have to feel superior about it. But not being wrecked by everything all the time is not a bad thing, as some would have us think. 😉 It's almost like they want that for you.

Being above it all is where it's at.

Life is beautiful and fun and infinitely possible if you stop surrounding yourself with miserable people that want you to drown with them. We’re going to make it bros.

@Ghardhar @MAGAVoice 😆 life isn't fair and not everyone is tall. But there's no need to make it worse by your choice in shoes!

@kv8 @MAGAVoice First thing I noticed! I'm like "She's another short actor like Di Nero!"

BREAKING 🚨Democrat Rep Debbie Wasserman is being exposed for using a Special TSA escort even after she voted to not pay them NEVER FORGET THIS

マヌル猫の砂浴び、撫でたい欲を刺激される...

@DowdEdward Love the "heavily mutated." I stg.💀

Don’t even think about it. 🤣😂🤡

i tell that one bumblebee all my secrets

Reads your tweets at your funeral.

@ValerieAnne1970 Safe and effective! If what you wanted was shingles. Mm-mm good stuff.

"Shingles Vaccine, "transiently" increases the risk of contracting shingles by 11 times." (in adults ≥65)

@TheDamaniFelder Every time.🤓🎪

"Is there any decision [from Trump] in particular you disagree with?" Her: *critical error-system reboot*

If mom were here she would be asking a lot of us what we used for brains yesterday. Something to think about.

Apparently everyone knows it all. We did it! (now what)

But he was okay, right?

Organizing everything into one of two categories: For The Birds, Not For The Birds

Hot tubs take up space that could be better used for a home composter.

Appellate judge overturned the ruling that I'm bad to the bone :(

My sources tell me "oops, nevermind." More info as it becomes available, watch this space.

@RivenMusicPro @IMAO_ @HuajatollaChic1 Exactly. The whole campaign to rebrand him as manly "to appeal to male voters" has been so desperately terrible.

@kv8 @IMAO_ @HuajatollaChic1 Literally he could have just eaten it the short way and would have been able to take a less girly bite.

Everyone assumes this picture of Buttigieg is him eating a chicken wing, and that's because he's biting in a way to engage his "rip-the-flesh-from-the-bone" front teeth, so we fill in "chicken wing" to make it make sense. But what he is actually eating is a small piece of a cinnamon roll, and our brains just can't comprehend biting into a small piece of dough that way. It's like an alien took over a human body and is unfamiliar with the subtleties of how it works.