Big Cornfed Midwestern Hoe

Best holiday 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅

me sensing an opportunity to randomly sing a song mid conversation based off words you said

the power of a bowl of rice mixed with some fucking bullshit cannot be overstated

baking when u live alone is like ok i had my fun now what do i do with 28 cookies

don’t fish for compliments around me cuz i might agree that u don’t look too good rn

you don't owe anybody anything! Anyway completely unrelated to that does anyone know why my life feels meaningless and unfulfilling

can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. you just sound like a vampire

this is how men 25+ flirt

If you’re 28 years old go fuck yourself

the worst i ever wish on people is that they meet themselves in someone else

Neurodivergent people don’t recharge by sleeping. They recharge by being completely left alone long enough for their nervous system to reset

Sorry guys if I ever said anything

“it’s a privilege to feel things so deeply” i say through gritted teeth

me when i get flashbacks from corny shit i did

where do you see yourself in 5 beers

gun to your head name a fish

and for the lady, perhaps a calm & regulated nervous system?

Sometimes this is exactly how it feels to be in the TSA line when they’re yelling out the new rules for the day

Uber driver: *drops me off at the wrong location* Me (shy): “This is perfect”

they were getting in the way of her having a sugar daddy so i understand