Hegseth's 10 a.m. Bartender

ME: And you are? GIRL: Beth and i like meth, lol. ME: And you are? GIRL: Dolly and i like molly, lol GIRL: And i am Flocaine ME: Let me guess . .you are Flocaine and you like . . GIRL: Crack. . i like crack!

@benshapiro Good thing you love the sound of your own voice since no one else does.

On the show today: Another American political official is found to be an alleged Chinese agent… and we discuss what we can do about America’s most powerful geopolitical enemy; the Chinese-Russian-Iranian info op to undermine America continues apace; and we examine why people aren’t having kids. open.spotify.com/episode/20TCnl…

@bennyjohnson Benny wants the Epstein files released! Wait, now he doesn't! What changed is such a mystery . .

Democrats in Utah drew a black Republican Congressman out of his district while complaining about not having “Black Districts” in other states. You can’t make this up… Rep. Burgess Owens: “Marxists want to divide us in any way they can… want blacks to feel that they are not worthy or unequal.” “It’s been far too long that Democrats have gotten away with this… dividing people up, putting segregated groups of blacks and make them feel so miserable, so uneducated that they can control that process.”

@GuntherEagleman Gunther, you gotta get your boy some caffeine pills - these 15 minute blinking sessions are not a great look for your chubby hero.

Trump dropped this post and it’s an absolute GEM! 💎 A must watch, see the difference!

@MegynKellyShow @michaeljknowles I don't know .. reality show clowns in power don't seem to be doing so well these days,

"Spencer Pratt is tapping into something real... The problem is LA just isn't sane." - @michaeljknowles

@RealJamesWoods You can't be a full on MAGA unless you fall, err can sniff out a conspiracy a mile away.

Just in time for the midterm elections. foxnews.com/travel/cruise-…

@dbongino Any update on those Epstein files, big guy?

WATCH: Maximum Political Warfare rumble.com/v79qpb0-maximu…

@FoxNews Big Pete is gonna need about 8 White Claws to relax after this grilling.

NEW: Secretary of War Hegseth clashes with Sen. Chris Coons over claims of a looming "strategic loss" in the Middle East as America’s fragile ceasefire with Iran continues to hold. COONS: "My concern, Mr. Secretary, is that you've achieved a series of tactical successes, but are on the verge of a strategic loss..." HEGSETH: "I just think it's so foolish. Here we are in a committee in the United States Senate, 74 days in, and you're talking about ‘strategic loss’?" "We have the ability to defeat a 47-year threat of a pursuit of a nuclear weapon. We have more leverage than we've ever had. We've had incredible battlefield successes. And you're talking about a ‘strategic loss’?”

@teixeiramark25 Far left to you is not supporting an obese orange pedophile.

Texas Democrats are embracing the far-left fringe by bringing avowed socialist Bernie Sanders to headline their convention. Sanders has pushed radical policies like the Green New Deal, government-run healthcare, and massive wealth redistribution – policies that would devastate Texas energy jobs and grow government control.

@RealJamesWoods More of a party of the pedophile kind of guy, eh?

Nobody in his right mind would vote for these chumps, so they’ll just fix the courts in their favor.

@HawleyMO Trump would have soooo made Stormy have an abortion.

This is welcome news. Dr. Makary was uniquely destructive to the prolife movement. He attempted to place pro-abortion lawyers in key positions. He slow walked a vitally necessary review of the abortion drug mifepristone. He used his discretion to approve a new abortion drug when the data shows it sends 1 in 10 women to the emergency room. He froze out prolife leaders and repeatedly stonewalled Congress. His resignation is an opportunity for the FDA to reset.

I am pretty upset that Wingstop no longer has the Sriracha Honey and the Garlic Honey sauces - I wonder if i staged an assassination attempt if I would also get what I want.

YOU: How many spiders do you think you eat a year? ME: 8. YOU: That's right! The average human eats 8 spiders in their sleep a year. ME: Wait, what? Really? In that case I will change my answer to 16.

Hannity: First they want my stove, now they want my dishwasher . .what's next? Are they going to take away my iron next? Me: Hannity owns an iron😃

Two months of sexual harassment training and progress has been made, but if we're being totally honest, my harassing skills remain subpar at best.

After reading Epstein's suicide note, maybe the secret thing Trump claimed they had in common was illiteracy? JK, it was the other thing.

@FaulknerFocus @SecDuffy Hey look! It's the champion of climbing up and down and down and up guy!

FAA TECH GETTING A MAJOR UPGRADE
 @SecDuffy says the current NOTAM system still relies on floppy disks, announcing the Trump administrations push to modernize air traffic control ✈️

@seanhannity Then he immediately took another 15 minute "blinking" session.

MAKE THE MALL GREAT AGAIN: Trump Blasts Obama-Era Reflecting Pool Disaster Amid Renovation hannity.com/media-room/mak…

@s_raven21 @stoolpresidente I didn't defend her in my reply - if it did i would have mentioned that she appears on shows that get actual ratings.

@yummymeth @stoolpresidente So so brave of you sticking up for the journalist!

Answer: Who retweeted a blatantly false hit piece on you not once but twice within 10 minutes of it being published and then when you provided her evidence it was all bullshit blocked you? Answer - That piece of shit Mina Kimes 💪

@FoxNews You guys bringing back those gas prices segments back? What about the grocery price segments you used to do constantly? I miss those! If you don't bring them back soon I am going to think something is fishy . .

NEW: Kevin Warsh clears the Senate to take a seat back on the Federal Reserve's Board of Governors — and now the spotlight shifts to the Fed’s top job. Trump’s pick was confirmed 51–45, pushing past early doubts about whether he had the votes. The Senate is expected to fully confirm Warsh on Wednesday, ending months of high-stakes drama over his Fed nomination to replace Chair Jerome Powell, whose term is set to end May 15.

@atensnut not as much as LMAO at yourself does.

This is going to drive the Left insane. LMAO.