Zeus™

3 AM in Split, Croatia. My sleep paralysis demons are demanding that I play Parcheesi immediately. Pawns are already in the nest. What do I do?

Definitely an interesting dilemma when work requires zero cats but your cat feels it’s his duty to be involved

BigPlay✌🏾

9pm at my hometown gym. Fella next to me is ripping an energy drink and doing leg day in crocs. Wish I had that in me

Benching Clax in crunch time? Interesting

Boy math is saving $5 from buying the cheaper feta so now I can toss a free parlay

What’s more difficult - A) Working on the first Thursday of March madness B) Working on a Tuesday with a 12pm curling gold medal game

The Olympics are funny because two days ago I had no idea why they call it curling and now all my hopes and dreams are connected to a guy who sells split levels in Duluth using the hammer to knock out the red stones in the 8th end for a three point swing. #olympics

@jarvis_best @willschwartz75 you ain’t slick with your burner

Really just goes to show you how soft Patrick Mahomes is.

Did you know EVERY curling stone at the Milan Cortina Games was carved from a single island? 🥌 Ailsa Craig lies off the Scottish coast, and its high-quality granite is perfect for curling stones. Green granite for the body of the stone is found on one end of the island, and blue granite for the running surface is on the other side.

Newfound respect for Michael Penix Jr.

@willschwartz75 You don’t mean that

@zkeller17 Ban the tush push

I’ve been plenty harsh on Bill in the post-Tom years but this is patently outrageous. Grounds for people losing their votes

@nathanfielder never wrong, just early

Clax

Car gave an alert right as Travie McCoy was about to say “what up Oprah!” #soass

@TheFFBallers oh no…

My name is Manousos Oviedo. I am not one of them. I wish to save the world

If you start Episode 5 Of Survivor: David vs Goliath (Season 37) at 11:18:51 PM you will bring in 2026 by Angelina asking for Natalie’s Jacket exactly at 12am. (Time stamp 41:09) #survivor #survivor37 #survivor50 @AngelinaCardona

@mooseward_ is one of the realest out there. Doesn’t fake any of his slips, rides or dies for his brothers, and always has yerkies ready to rock. We literally call him Russel Wilson. Please give him a follow 🙏🏼