Doris Elizabeth

FRAUD ALERT! These 5 Honourable colleagues (Joyce Bagala, Kakembo Mbwatekamwa, Juliet Kakande, Lumu Richard & Najjuma Sarah) obtained an invitation in my name from some organization in Kenya, for them to attend some random workshop in Mombasa next month for 2 weeks. One MP even lobbied for his name to be added using a pen after the letter was received by them. They then forwarded it to the Speaker for clearance for them to be facilitated for the 2 weeks trip. The challenge is that they didn't inform/consult me that they would use my name to obtain this invitation, so they impersonated me. Even more problematic, the list includes an NRM MP (Najjuma Sarah-Nakaseke Woman MP) on the "Opposition delegation" which apparently is to be led by myself as LOP. All this while, I had no knowledge about this supposed trip or the entire scheme of these members, until I somehow landed on this letter. Why would "Honourable" members choose to behave fraudulently like this!!

Someone commented about Kyambogo Guild President Politics. He said: "Naye lwaki tebajja Politics mu masomero?" Someone replied on his comments like: "Ignorance is part of you Sir." WHAT A HUMBLE SAVAGE!!

It's not about the Red Overalls. It is the ideology and; it is time. They didn't wear red in Kawempe Republic.

Ugandan Journalists, you are 5 years too late. That boycott should have happened a long time ago. And: If you want to do it, just do it. Don't announce. Problem is you will want to eat the little crumbs given to you in form of Transport and Per Diem.

Does NRM have a Secretary General? 📷📷📷📷. Nze erinnyo linnuma

LETTER TO THE PRESIDENT Mr President, Much of what was said during your address last night could also be true, but it misses the point in the debate over UCDA and coffee. Much of your effort was put on showing how UCDA is incompetent and corrupt. About its corruption, I have indeed heard about much of what was testified by the people who spoke alongside you. I have also witnessed some of it in my village in Masaka. Many people in the coffee growing villages actually know it. But they will also tell you that they’ve changed from practices such as drying coffee on the bare ground, mixing coffee with stones to boost weight, picking raw coffee, etc due to ‘harassment’ by UCDA. You conveniently avoided talking about the several initiatives that have died in the hands of the Ministry of Agriculture. Go to the villages and ask farmers whether/how the Ministry of Agriculture is present in their farming. Why did you have to take the army into NAADS? Wasn’t it after acknowledging that the Ministry (civilians) had failed it? How about now? In short, your evaluation was very prejudiced, dressed in confirmation bias, thus shrewdly selective. Yet moving from UCDA to the Ministry might only be like the journey from the mortuary to the cemetery. A cannibal can’t be the one to save me from a witch. But that’s not my main point. First, you should have asked yourself why many people are resisting your move. Perhaps you did, but you limited yourself to a small part of the answer. You seem to think that coffee farmers are simply being misled by politicians and Mengo (in Buganda). This implies that you doubt the judgement of the farmers. They can’t make informed decisions on their own, they are just swayed like twigs in wind. That’s a wrong assumption. The actual problem you are faced with is that of TRUST. Every passing day, fewer Ugandans trust your government. And you surely know the cause, but you avoid it because you are now captive to it - having left it to grow over the years for your conveniences. It is THEFT. It is grand theft. It is long fingers. You surely know that you reign over a grossly thieving uncaring government. Having witnessed the blatant thieving that accompanies almost every initiative you passionately defend, do you expect people to trust your motives another time? It is the reason why everything you start now, even in good faith, people will be asking: ‘What do they want to steal this time?’ No amount of force is going to fix this public attitude. No number of speeches is going to change the public’s opinion over government projects. And, unfortunately, even if you shove Bills down the nation’s throat at gunpoint, without their cooperation, those Bills won’t work. They can only help facilitate more thieving, but not improve the wellbeing of those they’re forced onto. Just reign in on your known thieves, if you still can (I doubt). Simply announcing good intentions while the public doesn’t see them in action against their exploiters won’t solve anything. It will only make you feel good for having asserted yourself. Poor people have been alienated from Lakes under your watch. My village is close to a once booming landing site called Ddimo. We used to enjoy fish during my childhood. Now, most locals only hear about fish and watch trucks (firiigi) taking them away for export. Do you call this development no matter what it might add to the GDP figures you love?Would such people feel that you care for them, and that you are now extending your hand into coffee in good faith? For almost everything that generates incomes and facilitates livelihoods, when the hand of your government is extended into it, it is often to alienate the communities in it and capture it for a few special greedy ones around you. Mr President, it is this side of the coffee debate that you either do not see or have chosen to ignore. Some of us actually don’t really care about UCDA, we only worry about something worse. Jimmy Spire Ssentongo

@KakwenzaRukira Write on. Mbadde nkyanyumirwa.q

One day, Museveni visited our village. He drove himself in a Benz, ML series. The campesino widow, his long time friend, was giving away her only daughter—Sikoviya. So the former had come to grace the function. I was strolling about the road, to the shop to buy Kindazi to breakfast on and when he saw me, his car came to a halt. He alighted and flew the distance between us to shake my hands. How may I help you? You look lost like an orphaned piglet! I asked. Being the Museveni I knew; the evil one, the pachydermatous, the curmudgeon, the thief, I started counting my fingers even when he still held my hand. He wore a long sleeved free yellow shirt that looked like a kanzu and had his brimming hat on. The trousers too were big and looking at him at a distance you’d think that it’s just a scarecrow stationed at a watch post amidst the garden of beans. He took the offence with equanimity and asked for directions to the widow’s house, and I offered to take him. The way to there was a footpath so we left the car at the roadside, and we maneuvered through the forest of coffee plantations. We ducked our heads until we reached the end. He was sweating everywhere; the trousers were doused in sweat and all making ruffling sound as he walked with difficulty. When we had reached the homestead, we found that the widow was not there, and we took a seat in the kitchen. It was a typical peasant structure upped by erecting some few poles and thatched with papyrus grass. There was nothing that showed a give away party. We ensconced ourselves on a bench and started a conversation about failed government programs. His front teeth were broken and in halves as if he ate tear gas canisters. He sounded inebriated when he uttered out his defense in a staccato. There was a pan full of cassava and beans katogo, boiling uncovered beside us, placed well on those three cooking stones, and fire busy licking the pan’s bottom as the soup in the pan danced out of the katogo. The despot got a plastic plate and scooped food from the pan and started eating with unwashed hands. The food burned his ravenous tongue because and he started blowing his breath into the plate, to cool down the food and accelerate the gluttonous eating. After he had finished, he threw the plastic plate into the fire, stood up, belched, and scratched his protruding potbelly and suggested that we move. Suddenly, the widow showed up in tattered clothes carrying firewood on the head and a hoe on her shoulder. She apologized for her absence and offered us seats which we refused, and narrated to her that we came earlier, and that we were going. Mr Museveni pulled out, from his bulging trousers, a bundle of money and gave to the widow, and we left. Where are you going now? I asked. Don’t be stupid, Kakwenza. Me going to see my Kobunuzi Enid Kukunda, down in Rugoma. He responded. Can we go together? I asked, foolishly. You wanna hold for me the thighs as I thrust? He asked. Sir, I’m naïve. Ontwaala supiidi. I Said. Okay, get this bundle of money and go eat your kindaazi. He handed the money to me. As I jumped to celebrate the bundle of money in my hands, my head hit the ceiling and I WOKE UP! I WOKE UP and checked my wallet only to see poverty. Poverty of an educated man!

@KakwenzaRukira Those who are saying, "if he catches you". He already "catched" him but he escaped on a broom.

A pig

@nickopiyo What a piece! "A genuine attempt at intellectualism" has exposed how much cabbage (gabbage) is in the place where brain should have been.

A short musing -make of it what you may. All his life, he has been thought of, by a vast majority of even his peers, as a less intellectually inclined individual, a sort of privileged pumped-up kid- who, had he been made in a different bed to a different couple, would have been a village drunk. He attended fine schools, but even that has not convinced his skeptics. His performances at these institutions have been reportedly as abysmal as his qualifications to join them. Thus, quietly, he has suffered an intellectual inferiority complex. He won't admit it for the world. Instead, he has dedicated himself, at every opportunity, to pushing back against this perception -real or imagined- by a couple of disguised performances. Unfortunately, these performances have fallen flat. As many award-winning actors would tell you, a good actor requires a certain level of sophistication or production to make the accolades list or deceive one's audience. So the late-night weekend weird tweets and the embarrassing politico-diplomatic missteps may be a genuine attempt at intellectualism, especially of the pan-African streak. But as late-night Western comedians would say, if you got it, you got it. If you ain't got it, you ain't got it.

@ISABIRY03199256 @SpireJim Joe, they (Moslems) gave food (fish). You (Joe), go give them the ability to make food. You can't judge one giver when you haven't given anything at all.

@SpireJim Don't be too quick to judge, it's one thing to give a man fish and it's another to teach him how to fish. What would go for if someone offered you bread and another offered you life, coin vs the ability to walk again.

I was at Mulago this evening to check on Erinah (Annah). She’s not in good condition, but I hope she will be well. They immensely appreciate your intervention. That aside, I saw a group of Moslems going through the wards, giving patients sugar and other basic items. In my view, this is by far a bigger statement of faith than simply spending the night shouting ‘I love you God ’.

@Naturinda96 What's wrong with his hair style?

Uganda is a cursed country ,wise people sat and voted a man with this hair style at ULS president. 💔😭🙌

@eddykenzoficial @KagutaMuseveni Shut up! You didn't look at population relatively, neither did you ask where all the production goes. To Rwanda. Now you know. Did your wife copy and paste for you?

From the time Uganda 🇺🇬 became a British protectorate in 1894 to when @KagutaMuseveni and his team took power in 1986 we only achieved 60 MW in about 92 years. With Mzee M7 leading the country from 1986 Uganda has added 1940MW to make 2000MW in just 38 Years. You can do the math in other sectors. Security. Education. Population. Roads Network. Hospitals. Export. Media. ETC. We must give @KagutaMuseveni his flowers. Thank you My President. @StateHouseUg @MEMD_Uganda @PNyamutoro @mkainerugaba @DuncanAbigaba @PNyamutoro

@FrankGashumba You day you are Ugandans 100%. And in the same breath you say you are Banyarwanda. Can you settle with one please, as you even gave the percentage that leaves no room for another?

You losers, the hate you generate against Banyarwanda is intolerable. We are Ugandans, 100%, and all this hate on social media has been fueled by NUP Lumpens and its leaders. If you wage a war against our people, we will end it. By the way, we are everywhere. We have an informant who happens to be our sister, omuvandimwe Barbie Itungo Kyagulanyi. We also have another informant in Nubian's house, and she's also Muvandimwe. By the way, Banyarwanda are not crying babies like Mr. Kadingo, Sabafere wa struggle. We shall never ever start a war but dare start it , we shall bring it under your bed. You think taking over Kampala, Kigali, and Kinshasha was attending a Grammy Awards in California? Akitegedde kubira Mukama engalo ezamaanyi👏

@KakwenzaRukira That seems to make her a Matakoist. 🤣

Very stupid woman! She thought she would get away with matakoism 😅😅

We should give flowers to this MP. We need more that do not sacrifice people’s concerns at the alter of trips. Which constituency does he represent? Thanks to those voters.

@nickopiyo @SpireJim @JoelSsenyonyi Poor Joel! You guys acquire houses by Bluetooth. You don't even know where they are located. That's positive witchcraft which the redundant payroll bloggers and spin doctors should use to get themselves mansions. Such reverse exposè!!🙆‍♀️

@nickopiyo @SpireJim The both of you are allowed to enjoy Lakizharrey, but don't you take @JoelSsenyonyi 's house. We see you. 🤣🤣🤣

I have been given a gorgeous house. Whoever is in it should vacate immediately and surrender the title to me before I involve police. I’m told it’s somewhere in Kitende. Mponye enzigotta, ngenze mu lakizyare

@KakwenzaRukira Pressure has #creased from demonstrations.

Ehhh! Namibia why?

@Mutamba256 @DailyMonitor Who asked him to rule for 40 years? It is not like we want him to. He is imposing himself on us and thus, he takes the trophy of the worst.

@DailyMonitor President Museveni because ruling a couentry for over 40yrs isn't easy task

🤔As a Ugandan, who do you find outstanding and why? #MonitorQuery #MonitorUpdates

@AnitahAmong And also stop bullying MPs. They don't belong to you. You don't own them. Speak with dignity and integrity. You shut them up as if they are your children. You don't look good in that dictatorial garment. Use REASON, not EMOTIONS.

I did not order her arrest. There are so many things said about me that my staff have shared with me, which are totally unfounded. I have consistently said feedback from citizens who by right should hold leaders to account is what will ultimately strengthen our democracy. On that note, I have instructed my staff to organise a conversation here soon so we can all have an open conversation to listen to citizens and get feedback on what needs to be done better.