Rort-76

@judgebruh453 @TJ_Dovey @CF_Farrow Absolute rubbish the man went no where near her the issue is with the girl (most likely the mum) the man did nothing wrong whatsoever get a grip stop trying to portray him as the issue the mum is the the issue in every single way.

@76Rort @TJ_Dovey @CF_Farrow Doctors/Nurses have a level of earned trust and respect. Random Malcolms working in M+S do not 🤷‍♂️

It's just so depressing. Please can you not put male staff in charge of female fitting rooms, shouldn't be seen as an unreasonable, outrageous or bigoted ask. It shouldn't invite a violent response, It used to be ordinary common sense. 😞 I fear for where we are headed.

@judgebruh453 @TJ_Dovey @CF_Farrow Male doctors nurses and other male staff , doctors appointments are usually with doctors which could also be men whats wrong with me doing jobs you do realise the man was just doing his job not anywhere near her don’t you just like a man could be on a checkout

@76Rort @TJ_Dovey @CF_Farrow Men and women do not share the same wards in hospitals and doctors appointments are never shared with strangers...what's the problem with women wanting their own spaces?

@CF_Farrow @Frances_Coppola Stop arguing with people you’re unbelievably ignorant arguing with an autistic lady after posting so aggressively about your own daughters issues. All because a man was doing his job you need a reality check

Frances, calling it “polite feedback” does not make it any less patronising. You have repeatedly told me what I feel, why I deleted a post, how I “come across”, and whether I value autistic women. That is not a conversation. It is a running commentary on my character. I have listened to your experience. I have not dismissed it. I simply do not accept that it gives you authority to reinterpret my daughter’s distress or lecture me on my own emotional state. There is a difference between sharing lived experience and using it to talk down to another woman about her child. My daughter was distressed. I took her seriously. You may disagree with my conclusions, but please stop pretending that patronising me is the same as enlightening me.

M&S changing facilities are unisex, Caroline. It's perfectly ok for men to supervise them. Fully enclosed unisex cubicles lockable from the inside are compliant with the law as it stands. Cubicles are "female spaces" when they are used by women and "male spaces" when they are used by men. The communal area outside them is not an exclusively "female space". Nor could it be, since the cubicles can be used by men. No boundaries are violated by a male staff member politely knocking on a cubicle door to ask if the occupant (who could of course be a man) needed any help. I understand how difficult it can be to manage autistic teenagers, but with respect, M&S is not obliged to change its policy because of your daughter's fears. May I also observe that autistic girls can be very suggestible and easily pick up negative emotions. Are you sure she wasn't reacting to your own (evident) anger and distress at the changing rooms being supervised by a man? To be clear, I am autistic myself. I now, at the ripe old age of 66, know I can react very badly to the negative emotions of others. But when I was a teenager, neither I nor anyone else realised my meltdowns were triggered by emotions I picked up from other people.

@TJ_Dovey @CF_Farrow Round the pool on holiday on the beach, in hospital at the doctors list is endless but let’s make an issue about men at M&S to gain attention on social media

@CF_Farrow Does your daughter go swimming? How does she navigate the mixed changing rooms with male and female members of staff walking around frequently?

@CF_Farrow No you said the man knocked on the cubicle door which he didn’t and yes your daughter has issues with men obviously but the man was just doing his job get over yourself you’ve made it an issue and keep posting for attention. Men have been working in shops for years

The reaction to my M&S post is a textbook case of DARVO (Denial, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender). People aren't just disagreeing; they are furious that I dared to speak out loud. I have four daughters, two of whom have intense sensory issues around clothes. Shopping is already a massive SEN minefield. For 11 years, my daughter and I have used that exact fitting room without a single problem. There has never previously been a man in charge. But on Saturday, we walked in to find a man supervising it. My daughter became distressed, so we left. The immediate reaction from critics wasn’t to question the policy, it was to direct pure anger and blame at me. Suddenly, my daughter's anxiety is my fault. We have men scrambling to portray a completely natural boundary, one women have possessed since the dawn of time the moment they reach puberty, as something "unhealthy" and "worrisome." To cap off the inversion of reality, I’ve been accused of "failing in my safeguarding duty" for sharing an entirely anonymised story. But parents of children with SEN talk about difficulties all the time. We openly discuss schools, SEN provision, accessibility, public toilets, and changing rooms. That is how problems become visible. Why is a female-only space the one accommodation we are forbidden from demanding? Why is a teenage girl's natural desire for privacy being pathologised by a crowd of adults, rather than a corporate policy being questioned? You shouldn't need a diagnosis, a trauma history, or a legal submission to want privacy from the opposite sex when undressing. A girl does not need to be autistic to want privacy. A woman does not need to be traumatised to want dignity. M&S needs to change their policy. Women and girls deserve female-only spaces. And "this happened to my daughter, and it shouldn't have" is something mothers have every right to say.

@Marleengirl @CF_Farrow Yes I also have neurodivergent children and it was certainly not the male shop assistant’s fault that she was triggered if she’s triggered by men that’s a separate issue but it was not the shop assistant’s fault and it’s a very entitled way to view the problem

@76Rort @CF_Farrow Triggers for neurodivergent children can appear to be something very insignificant. Having an autistic person in my family, I see the problems every day. Their reactions are unpredictable and sometimes very distressing.

I want to recap what actually happened at M&S, because some people seem determined to turn this into something it was not. I went early evening because I thought the shop would be quieter. I was shopping with my teenage daughter, who is autistic and has sensory issues around clothing. Anyone who parents a child with sensory difficulties will understand how hard clothes shopping can be. Fabric, fit, seams, tightness, waistbands, labels, texture, all of it matters. Something can look perfectly fine on the hanger and be completely unbearable once worn. Ordering several sizes online and returning them is neither logistically nor economically feasible for us, and in any case my daughter likes to touch and see things before deciding whether she is comfortable with them. That approach simply doesn’t work for her. So, for the avoidance of doubt, nothing would have suited me better than for my daughter to be able to try the clothes on and ensure she has enough things to see her through Summer. That was the whole point of going to the changing rooms. I was not looking for confrontation. I was not trying to make a political point. I was trying to make an ordinary shopping trip work for an autistic teenage girl who finds clothes difficult. I walked into the changing area calmly and practically. My intention was to find a suitable cubicle, ideally the larger disabled one, check that it felt safe and manageable, and then encourage my daughter to follow me in. That was the plan. Had she been able to try the clothes on, it would have saved time, stress, uncertainty, returns, and the familiar nightmare of buying something that later turns out to be impossible for her to wear. So the idea that I somehow wanted there to be a problem is absurd. The changing room was supposed to be the solution. The problem arose when my daughter became distressed by the presence of a male member of staff supervising the changing area. I had not anticipated her reaction. It was not scripted by me. I did not wind her up. I did not march in looking for a row. She reacted. I saw her distress. I took it seriously. And yes, I think a teenage girl, particularly an autistic teenage girl, is entitled to feel safe and comfortable in a changing-room environment. This is not complicated. It is not about hating anyone. It is not about being difficult. It is not about “vibes” or emotional projection or whatever patronising theory people wish to attach to it online. It is about a vulnerable young woman trying to buy clothes, and finding that the space provided did not feel safe or appropriate to her. Parents of autistic children spend a lot of time trying to prepare, adapt, reassure, smooth things over, and make ordinary life manageable. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. On this occasion, it didn’t. But I will not apologise for taking my daughter’s distress seriously. Or believing that M&S should change their policy.

@Marleengirl @CF_Farrow Many of them also cope daily thousands do and if they don’t it’s not because of a male shop assistant they probably don’t cope with many things but to lay blame is disgraceful many can’t queue do we blame places for being busy no.

@76Rort @CF_Farrow Neurodivergent children and adults do not react in the same was as neurotypical people or indeed each other. All behave and react differently so you cannot say they can or should cope in a given situation. Many simply can’t cope in a triggering environment.

@CF_Farrow @marksandspencer Maybe when the male nurse or doctor knocks on her cubicle in the hospital or doctors you will post the same? Thought not . And also having autism isn’t an excuse to cause employees problems and hate on them many autistic people cope with shop assistants assisting absolutely fine

Went into @marksandspencer Camberley this evening. Young guy manning the changing rooms, knocking on cubicle doors to see if anyone needed help or had finished. Daughter felt too awkward to try on her items. 😬

@VeryHelpers @JacobMonahan2 How can I get help with an item that’s not arrived

@JacobMonahan2 Hi there, Thank you for reaching out to us. I request you to please send us a direct message (DM) so we can assist you more efficiently and look into this matter in detail? We're here to help! Regards, Rakatla

@VeryHelpers Is there anyone i can speak to on a chat to help resolved a closed account with details I need to see

@RickRectorWapak @AmericanAir Probably on her break which she’s more than entitled to have! You need to change your or to um because you’re an arse

Well @AmericanAir we guess it is to much to ask that your employees work instead of knitting on our flight to Punta Cana today....

@Martzishim2 @BcfcJai The retaliation wasn’t punching it was a full on attack

@BcfcJai To clarify things- heze was bullying the kid because of his nokia phone in which he then retaliated by punching heze demanding him to give his phone back. This is the reason why they were fighting. In this case heze is in the wrong.

@BcfcJai Maybe change the heading to heze was attacked he’s literally laid there and the other lad pins him down and strangles him name him also not just heze not on having his name plastered like that

@BcfcJai Don’t look like a fight looks like an attack on heze by the other lad