🇺🇸 The Briefing Room 🇺🇸 🇮🇱

The quick actions of the Secret Service and local law enforcement seem to have prevented horrific tragedy tonight in Washington. Grateful for their dedication, and I continue to monitor the situation with my team. Political violence has no place in our nation, and tonight must be a reminder of how badly we need to put a stop to it.

I’m officially convinced. It was a hoax. The Trump Administration recruited a leftist Kamala Harris voting Trump hater to participate in a staged assassination that would include the shooter getting shot at and then locked in federal prison for the rest of his life. The Kamala Harris voter agreed to this plan, that works against his political and personal interests, because he’s just like a really generous guy. Meanwhile the Trump Administration, despite dastardly planning multiple assassination hoaxes, decided to keep their patsy alive and a permanent liability to them, rather than just killing him like they could have easily done. They did this because they also are really strangely generous in a very odd and specific way. So in summary we have a plot where all parties involved are working against their own interests with no real discernible benefit to any of them. There is no evidence of this plan and it doesn’t even make any intuitive sense and the motives for everyone are unclear if not insane, but still I believe it because I’m a very smart person.

Thank you to security, law enforcement, and US Secret Service for keeping everyone safe at tonight’s correspondents’ dinner. I’m grateful no one was hurt. Tonight is supposed to be about celebrating free speech — a foundational American value. Violence is the opposite of everything we stand for and it can never be tolerated.

I am grateful that the President and all the guests from last night's event are safe, and no one was seriously injured. I thank first responders for their work. While an investigation is underway, we should all be clear that political violence has no place in America.

Give it a rest, David. Focus on rooting out the assassination culture and anti-American bile in your own once great party.

FBI Director Kash Patel seen on his phone, just hanging around outside the venue like a random WHCD attendee trying to figure out how to get an Uber after the incident.