Carl Speakman

@SkySportsPL Handball

What a hit from Mathias Jensen! 🤯

One. Step. Closer.

@StretfordPaddck Do he goals count double

Thiago fluffs his chance to put Brentford ahead! 35’ | 🔴 1-0 🐝 | #MUFC

@StretfordPaddck Amad terrible

⏸️ Solid first half - fairly even overall, but United have taken control where it matters and go in 2–0 up 🔴 Bruno Fernandes picks up his 19th Premier League assist with the second, and Casemiro grabs his 9th league goal of the season 👏 Half time thoughts, Reds? HT | 🔴 2-0 🐝 | #MUFC

@tukusworld @utdreport @TelegraphDucker Not sure he'll be cheaper then forest owner is a lunatic

@utdreport @TelegraphDucker Murillo all day cheaper, hungrier & left footed beast 🔥

#mufc have conducted background checks on a number of left-footed centre-backs, including Micky Van de Ven and Nottingham Forest's Murillo [@TelegraphDucker]

@utdreport @TelegraphDucker Murillo is a shout but that owner will want 500m

@LukeEdwardsTele He's a donkey

I like Nick Woltemade but he’s not able to play as a lone centre forward in the Premier League as things stand. And for his fanboys and girls read this statistic The German has not scored in the league since December, managing only 31 shots on goal in 30 league appearances this season with only 12 on target. Of his seven goals, one was a penalty #nufc

@rustyrockets @piersmorgan No Russell I have never been in court accused of "heavy stuff" because I'm not a sex offender

Wait! @piersmorgan I’ve found that verse!! The really important thing is that we, you, me all of us are loved. And not because of anything we have accomplished or ever could achieve. But because of who loves us.

@UtdKobi Because we are the only team that gets decent numbers on Monday Night Football

No PL match today so why are we playing on Monday?

@utdreport @TheAthleticFC If we get a good offer in the summer we should sell him

Amad Diallo’s attacking output under Ruben Amorim and Michael Carrick [@TheAthleticFC]

Fuck letting João Gomes go to Atletico to arse about under Simeone. He's got too much class for that kick and run shite.

@StretfordPaddck Took one at United too

🔴 Former #MUFC manager Rúben Amorim is reportedly planning to take a SABBATICAL YEAR next season, according to ‘A Bola’

@I_amMukhtar The Craig David remix nobody asked for

Russell Brand has released a book called "How to Become a Christian in Seven Days," by the way.

@WestHam_Central Either is funny

Right...the big question...who's going?

@teen_chelsea @utdreport @86_longo @CmdotCom_En No United player called that you dickhead

@utdreport @86_longo @CmdotCom_En So what happens to that flop chuna 😂

In recent days, #mufc have gathered information on Rafael Leão [@86_longo, @CmdotCom_En]

@DramaAlert Needs a kick in the face

Micheal Jackson fans are going WILD in the theaters. 😭😭

@liamgallagher Stop using offensive C words like celebrity

ROME Tuesday Wednesday Thursday WEMBLEY semi final Saturday I hope I’m not not turning into 1 of those celebrity cunts

@Dickywhitfield @StretfordPaddck This is a fair question

@StretfordPaddck If it wasn’t a clear and obvious error why did VAR have it reviewed in the first place?

✅ Confirmed by the FA: #MUFC appealed Lisandro Martínez’s red card vs Leeds, but it was rejected on the basis it wasn’t a clear and obvious error. The claim of excessive punishment was also dismissed, with the FA stating hair pulling “ought not to be tolerated and should be discouraged.” [@sistoney67]

@UtdFaithfuls Best video I've seen apart from all the other ones

Best video you'll see today as a United fan. Absolutely LOVE it! 😀🔊❤️

@RealEmirHan This didn't happen

In Skyfall, Daniel Craig almost ruined this scene. Before filming he had bought a nice pair of leather gloves. He loved them so much he insisted on wearing them for this scene. But the plot relies on Bond’s gun having a fingerprint scanner. In editing room producers literally lost their minds. One producer said: “It’s against the logic of this scene. The villain can't fire Bond's gun because it has a fingerprint scanner, but if that's the case, then how was Bond ever going to fire it wearing gloves?” They considered reshooting but they found out it would cost millions. The only solution became to digitally paint in Bond's hands. If you watch the scene you can see that Bond has podgy hands because in every single frame he was wearing thick leather gloves.