David Selling

@bbcthree She couldn't cut her hair anyway. Scissors were first used in Asia so probably best to close up shop and us Brits can just tear our hair out with our hands from now on if it gets too long.

@wil_da_beast630 Same thing.

Almost impossible to tell, at 1st glance, whether a woke or a racist wrote something.

There was a time when the future of humanity looked like ever increasing prosperity and interplanetary space travel, now it looks like a bunch of bearded retards praying to their fictional nonce 5 times a day.

Sadiq, could this be making 'infidels' anxious ? Or doesn't that matter ?

You can't play "game theory" with people who believe they win if they die.

@Femi_sorry Did...did you get the ambulance in the background on purpose?

I made it to London without spotting any terrorists on my train! RESULT!

Majority-black city council: We need red light cameras in those areas where people keep speeding and crashing into each other. [A few months later] Antiracist activist: They put red light cameras mostly in black areas. This is systemic racism!

yeah no, we need to 100x the muslim jokes. until a comic can mock islam without *fearing for his life* we have a problem on our hands, and it isn't islamophobia.

First female Ngoni chief in Malawi ends child marriage. She has broken up 850 child marriages in three years. ✊🏿

@EthanLego2004 @MInthenow70635 Better the devil you know

@DavidSelling @MInthenow70635 Yeah, but also homophobia.

There is no future for gay people in voting left. We have been well and truly thrown under the bus so they can court violently homophobic Islamists and homophobic cross dressing fetishists. Gay men's survival instincts are finally kicking in.

“Corporate farming methods” are why you don’t have to do backbreaking work as a farmer anymore and why starvation is the exception rather than the rule around the world today

@EthanLego2004 @MInthenow70635 Less violently homophobic. A bit of tutting isn't quite as bad as having your head lopped off.

@MInthenow70635 But Christian is also homophobic.

I much prefer to live amongst people that just want to pray for me rather than people who want to throw me off the nearest tower block.

The reason they won’t smash a statue of Big Mo is because they know Muslims would hunt them down and cut their heads off—probably while filming it as a warning to others. They know this, I know this, you know this Muslims know this. Everyone knows it. You can’t risk offending Muslims without risking your neck. That’s the sad reality. What makes it even sadder is that these edgelords, anarchists, and so-called rebels know exactly which bear will bite their head off and which one will turn the other cheek. So, naturally, they only ever poke the one that won’t fight back. Fucking cowards.

If people are fighting for an orb you are reading fantasy. If people are fighting for a cube you are reading sci-fi. If it has more sides than that. I dont know. I dont know man.

These still exist. You're just not invited to them, like how you wouldn't have been back then 😭

The family bought this vibration plate for themselves, but the one who uses it the most is the cat 😹

So, turns out, if you take large groups of people that having been killing each other for 1200 years, and stick them all together on a tiny island, they all still want to kill each other. Literally, nobody could have predicted this.

Taliban is when you have ever so slight border control

Oh, bravo, BBC. In The Capture, the Corporation has outdone itself: the real villain isn’t the gangs reportedly raping schoolgirls, nor the mandarins quietly massaging migration stats. No, it’s the tiresome Englishman who dares file a Freedom of Information request. Because obviously the next logical step after politely asking for crime figures is child murder. One Excel query and you’re basically Dennis Nilsen with a filing cabinet. And the crowning touch? This furious, Brexit-bothered native son is kitted out in full Bundeswehr chic—olive drab, the lot. Not a single Union Jack in sight. Why bother with British nationalist clichés when you can just slap on modern German military kit and let the historical smear do the work? Subtle as a sledgehammer. So here we are: a licence-fee-funded broadcaster warning us, in glossy primetime drama, that asking the government for facts is basically domestic terrorism with better broadband. Keep those cheques coming, peasants. It’s vital we subsidise the effort to pathologise curiosity itself. Defund the BBC? At this point we should just rename it the Ministry of Approved Narratives and be done with the pretence.