andy

Low sitting toilets just hit different.

@JonKrawczynski It’s a nice word, Jon

Yeah, I made up a word. That's how good Zion is.

Edwards was outstanding. McDaniels was outstanding. Gobert was great. Russell was really good. Zion was just oustandinger.

@SillyBrute Wowowowowow

Me frantically trying to offload my cache of illegal “boolets”.

@JimPeteHoops Jim, you both were the best. Even my buddies who follow other teams would attest. This news is absolute shit. What a complete disconnect they have from the fan base.

💔

@KLyargy @christianjw24 @Imman_Adan His tongue has permanent teeth marks now.

@christianjw24 @Imman_Adan Chris Rock wins in the category of “Self-Restraint” 🏆

If Chris Rock just said “if that’s how mad he gets in March, imagine how pissed he is in August” He prolly coulda won that round.

@JayMalsky 🎶 A single mom who works two jobs, who fights a bear on her kitchen floor. 🎶

The Reba reboot sounds fun!

@aplockhart That’s why you’re the best. Im on it.

@Hilbranded herediterrier and we replace all the characters with dogs

starting a production company called A25 that just makes unauthorized sequels to every A24 movie, who wants to invest

When my dog walks past multiple grass patches and decides to shit on a busy sidewalk.

At an off leash dog park a dog started barking at me. “It’s all good Mr. Pups.”Some are barkers, I have a lap jumper myself. Then owner drags it over to me and starts hitting it on the face while it looked at me. Umm-that AINT it and the dog probably DESPISES me now. Poor thing.

People who pass on the on-ramp before a zipper merge, who didn’t hurt you enough as a child?

This is why it’s so important to VOTE.

When you sit down at a restaurant, the server immediately asks what you want and they have one drink menu.

@ItsZakHaHa This was pandering..I still tripped over myself to like it.

There's always a special place in my heart for the few who like my tweets

Wouldn’t it be a bummer if the moment you turn 75, they stop electing 75 year old presidents. Like…cmon I waited 🥴☹️

@ColaptesAuratus Oh god me too.

I can't believe that the last movie I'm ever going to see in theaters was Cats

@mikefotis you’re really helping these Timberwolves L’s go down a little smoother. #NewfavoriteTVDad

@JPulley3 @DaneMooreNBA At this point I think it’s just “weather”.

@DaneMooreNBA Been a 15 year storm lol

Ryan Saunders after tonight's loss closed a lengthy presser with this: "We've got to weather the storm, because we are going through a storm right now."

@nullrend Absolutely! Fuck me for choosing a dry January

Twitter is wild. -They want to kill us when we protest, or when we lawfully vote. - These seditious acts are just going to continue unless lawmakers... -Elon Musk wants to explore interplanetary servitude - Capitol Police officer dies of suicide -cOmE oN rAvEnS, pass!