KC in Vancouver 🦊
303 posts
KC in Vancouver 🦊
@KCVanBC
Sinnerista
Vancouver, British Columbia เข้าร่วม Mayıs 2024
225 กำลังติดตาม38 ผู้ติดตาม
@jannikfritzz What a skill! Can you understand Meddy and Rublev?
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Jannik Sinner Miami R2 Recap:
Strawberry Shortcake took 27 seconds of time off after her Indian Wells trophy last weekend, and was back on the cement today, ready to attempt the double dose of Vitamin D. ☀️
Papa Darren’s fortnight of solo Boss Baby parenting ended, with Vagno now back alongside him in his matching p̶r̶i̶s̶o̶n̶ ̶u̶n̶i̶f̶o̶r̶m̶ team outfit. Ale-Alejandro hasn’t yet earned his 49 minutes of annual vacation leave, so he also returned for another week of squats training in the box.
The ginger had finally managed to find his copy of “How to Successfully Return a Tennis Serve”, which had somehow fallen behind the bookshelf after Turin. He opened his first return game with a shockingly successful overhead smash. Then, whilst fox fans were still unpeeling their hands away from reflexively covering their eyes, he smoked a cross court forehand winner and broke the same game.
After cruising through two games in just six minutes and dropping only two points, the carrot then remembered he was trying to quiet the growing rumours that he is secretly actually a robot competing on the humans-only tour. So, Wall-E quickly tweaked his AI settings back to the “normal tennis player” function, and threw in a double fault to start the next game.
To try and throw the lingering cynics off the scent, he even attempted to imitate some more typical human behaviours, and tried smiling at excited fans appearing on the stadium big screens… although his mechanical genetics could only sustain 0.005 seconds of visible human emotion.
After her extremely successful run to close out last season, Little Miss Variety boldly asked for a pay raise this year. Unfortunately these negotiations have stalled, and so she is only offering limited services in the interim. Today, she giggled and offered up a flurry of swoonworthy volleys, but firmly closed the chat when multiple greedy requests for net-clearing drop shots snuck in. 🙅🏻♀️
Dzumhur chose to reuse the same tennis ball every time he won a point. Fox Boy was quite confused by this odd behaviour, and had to quickly Google “superstition” at the changeover, as he was unfamiliar with the term. After clarifying this foreign concept, he smiled and nodded bemusedly, and then tucked his hair behind his ears, skipped his right foot first over the white line, before collecting his two balls from one kid, and third ball from the second child, to serve…
Wall-E eventually got tired of concealing his true identity, and broke i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶a̶ ̶p̶a̶s̶s̶i̶o̶n̶a̶t̶e̶ ̶r̶e̶n̶d̶i̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶“̶T̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶M̶e̶”̶ serve twice in the second set to close out the match. Luckily, his efforts to tamp down his most mechanical characteristics had still been successful, as he generated an appropriately human performance rating of just 8.7 for the match. Hopefully, this might quell the players’ growing suspicions of their “unusual” colleague for at least one more day…
There was also an enthusiastic gentleman in the crowd today who was evidently a big fan of Jannik’s b̶e̶t̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶o̶d̶d̶s̶ tennis. He quietly offered his support to the carrot, but was terribly unlucky with his timing, as his “FORZAAAA JANNIK!”s always seemed to coincide with a Dzumhur second serve. 🤔 Nevertheless, he gave Fox Boy the perfect opportunity to bolster his blatant 2026 Sportsmanship Award lobbying, when the ginger could profusely apologize for the disturbance at the post-match handshake.
Finally, Ben Shelton decided that, like the fans, he didn’t much fancy another cement date with Fox Boy this week, and vacated Miami early. So, luckily, next up we get to face a vocal, polarizing, left-handed player……
FORZA. 🦊🧡
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the happiest day of EVERY sinnerista life
Pop Base@PopBase
Today is International Day of Happiness.
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Jannik Sinner IW GF Recap:
Yeah, sex is good, but have you ever watched a ginger complete cement, dressed like a strawberry ice cream?
We’ve seen influencers popping balloons and massacring cakes, but now for the first time, we’ve seen an entire tennis match played just to tell the future grandparents and aunties the new baby is a girl. 🩷🩵
A Sinvedev final was like taking a time machine back two years, and Fox Boy continued the 2024 theme, when he won the coin toss and actually chose to receive. He did still contort himself over the net in 2026-style to collect the coin, because you can never be too careful with non-superstitious superstitions on finals days…
Like the true A-lister he is, Papa Darren said “No paparazzi!🙅♂️”, and covered up the box’s spy camera with his cap. However, sources report this was less about unflattering angles, and more so that when he called out “Great tennis!” midway through the match, no one would see his tired grimace and eye roll. 😉
Halfway through the first set, Jannik called for the physio. OH NO, was it the broken back? Or, worse, was it actually 2024 again, and that blasted right hip? 😱
NOPE, turns out Ale-Alejandro had simply wrapped the carrot’s tootsies a little too tight, and so Strawberry Shortcake needed the assistance of a man who attended university for a decade in preparation for this one crowning moment where he could finally utilise his extensive education…. and snip off 5cm of strapping tape. 🙌
Meddy beat Bee Man in straight sets a day earlier, and kept up the relentless ball bashing this match. So, to no one’s surprise, the first set wound up in a tiebreak. Darth Sinner smiled and nodded, and plated up his first set point with a forehand straight into the net. #crushedit 💪 Luckily, Servebotnnik has joined the team this season in a full-time role, and so dished up an unreturned serve next point, to close it out.
The second set was a copypasta of the first, only with 2 less break points generated, and 100 more points gained on the heart rate readings of fox fans watching at home.
The inevitable second set tiebreak started off well… if you were an octopus fan.
Strawberry Shortcake looked like she was one long rally away from collapse, and her listless double fault at 0-3 was a dagger to the heart of even the most optimistic carrots.
But, funnily enough, if you look up the word “clutch”, the official dictionary definition states, “Ginger Italian athletes playing tennis tiebreaks, and specifically second set tiebreaks in desert grand finals, when they are down 0-4”. 💁🏻♀️
After his momentous comeback win, Fox Boy pointed at his chest. Many initially believed this was an acknowledgement of the “heart” shown in tense moments. However, sources have confirmed he was actually pointing to the Nike tick, to acknowledge that, without suffering through a hot dog condiment kit for months, he would not have had the motivation to ensure his next decent outfit was immediately immortalised with a trophy. 🏆🩷
When he was asked the same question twice at the post-match interviews, Fox Boy’s desire to adhere to his PR training was no match for his desire to get to his victory In-N-Out burger, and so he politely offered the offending journo a̶s̶s̶i̶s̶t̶a̶n̶c̶e̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶l̶o̶c̶a̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶ ̶h̶e̶a̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶e̶s̶t̶ the chance to repeat his answer.
The first Sinnerball trophy of 2026 was accompanied by the usual mediocre stats - the first high schooler to complete all the cement levels, the last time he lost a M1000 set being when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, and the world record holder for mentioning F1 in as many non-F1-related situations as possible.
Finally, congratulations on another amazing win, Fox Boy, and for becoming at least 8.27% less #washed on Tennis Twitter than you were a week ago. 👏
…. Oh, and by the way, are your friends who came to IW also available to join Brother Mark & Seal in the RG box? Just asking for a slightly superstitious friend….
FORZA. 🦊🧡
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If there were @atptour ranking point bonuses awarded for travel maladies endured in the month of March, we would have a new No.1....
Daniil Medvedev@DaniilMedwed
Hi @united…need a little help. Flew from PSP to Florida yesterday and none of my bags arrived. Kind of need them to play in the @MiamiOpen 😉….can you help?
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A wonderful piece as always, but unfortunately you have overlooked that the primary reason for the ginger’s win today, was in fact my own commitment to not move an inch from the “lucky” seating position for the 1 hr 55 mins of match time, as we all know a 2mm shift of my left leg would have thrown off the entire service rhythm through the television. 💁🏻♀️😉
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Di fronte a questo immenso campione c'è solo da inchinarsi. Con una pressione assurda, si è presentato due settimane prima nel deserto californiano per recuperare una condizione soprattutto mentale che non era parsa eccelsa nei primi due tornei dell'anno.
E proprio in finale contro un Medvedev a tratti ingiocabile, Jannik ha dimostrato la sua straordinaria, e unica nel circuito, forza mentale.
In che modo:
- accettando di perdere molti scambi lunghi, senza farne un dramma, consapevole che nessuno avrebbe tenuto quel livello di colpi in termini di profondità e pesantezza di palla;
- aumentando il più possibile la prima di servizio, fino a mettere solo prime nel tiebreak del primo set, lucido nel capire che non c'era altra strada per assicurarselo contro quel demone e che perderlo avrebbe costituito una seria complicazione;
- provando a mettere pressione nel secondo set, dove si è vista una lieve flessione del russo proprio come già accaduto contro Alcaraz, preparandosi il terreno per un altro eventuale tie break;
- risalendo dallo 0-4 nel secondo tie break dopo addirittura un doppio fallo, realizzando tutto ciò che non gli era praticamente riuscito per tutta la partita fino a quel momento, ossia vincere scambi lunghi (ne ha vinti 5 di fila), chiudere a rete un punto e attaccare la seconda di servizio, addirittura nel match point.
L'elenco precedente è una masterclass mentale da scolpire su pietra.
Dunque grazie, grazie davvero JANNIK SINNER.
🦊🇮🇹
Italiano
@Served_Podcast Kind of shocked he is playing this well after his travel from Dubai. Doesn’t seem like it affected him at all. Great play, Daniil.
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Is Medvedev playing the best tennis of his life?!
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@jannikfritzz You’ve arrived, Alexa. We are so proud of you!
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@eeajjo @Volea_a_la_Red As Papa Darren said last year, he LOVES the heat, so it must be true.
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Jannik Sinner IW QF Recap:
What does a fox fan love watching most in a Sinnerball match? Is it a backhand down the line winner? No. A cross court running forehand winner? Also no. A first serve percentage over 70%? Definitely not.
The truth is NOTHING gets a carrot supporter more excited than seeing a temperature gauge in the mid-30s on match day. 👌☀️
For the second match in a row, the coin toss occurred on the incorrect side of the net. The special guest had CLEARLY neglected to read the “Pre-Match” chapter of the Sinnerball manual, which explicitly states that the ginger must shake the guest’s hand, then shake the umpire’s hand, then absolutely never under ANY circumstances be asked to choose the toss, but MUST be able to collect the shiny metal circle afterwards. Damn, it’s hard to get good help these days… 🤦🏻♀️
Nevertheless, for completely unrelated and definitely non-superstitious reasons, Elastigirl used her extender arms and contorted herself over the net to collect the coin anyway.
Early on in the match, Learner was playing aggressively and hitting winners all over the court… so Fox Boy smiled, nodded, and then went up 3-0 in 15 minutes.
Strawberry Shortcake’s eyes started bothering him at 3-1 up. Papa Darren kindly asked him if he was okay or would like an extra towel to wipe them. However, like every teenage son mortified by the mere existence of their parents, the ginger simply hunched his shoulders and pretended he couldn’t see or hear him… 🙈
In pleasing news, today’s hot weather necessitated the carrot’s bakery opening after just 30 minutes. After all, there’s nothing better than a refreshing i̶c̶e̶ ̶c̶r̶e̶a̶m̶ breadstick to cool you down on a hot day…
The second set had the same scriptwriters rostered on as the first. And, in a hefty dose of chilling malevolence, Fox Boy allowed Learner to get to 40-0 on his own serve, before steamrolling him to break the same game. Honestly, Jannik, do you really think that kind of brutality is appropriate when you have children watching in the stadium? 🙄
Despite cruising to a 5-2 lead in the set, the carrot overheard the commentators discussing his low number of break points faced this week. So, he allowed himself to go two break points down, to ensure he could stat pad himself to another 100% saved, before finally closing it out. Some say clutch, most say clown…
Nevertheless, after just 1 hour and 6 minutes, Fox Boy’s babysitting duties were officially done for the week.
Post-match, the establishment mafia decided the ginger’s public opinion ratings needed a boost, so they gave Jannik the opportunity to pull his trademark “have a super cute reunion with the 2024 tournament’s umbrella ball girl” PR move. Well played, ATP - Tennis Twitter well and truly fell for it. 👏
Strawberry Shortcake has been having a blast off-court this week, and his press conference giggle fit was further evidence of this. After all, he’s just a boy, standing in front of a̶ ̶g̶i̶r̶l̶ his childhood friends, asking them to
l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶h̶e̶r̶ come and create mayhem with him at a tennis tournament. 🤭
Meanwhile, the tennis media had clearly taken Fox Boy’s public disdain for answering the same questions repeatedly into account, and generated some new, hard-hitting queries today. After all, most fans have ALWAYS wondered whether Jannik juggles the tennis balls in his pre-match warm-up, so thank goodness someone FINALLY thought to ask him! 🙌 Equally, it has been keeping many awake at night, just desperate for someone to clarify whether the carrot ever suffers from Short Man Syndrome in the presence of his Hagrid doppelgänger BFF. 👬
Nailed it, tennis journos. 💪🤣
Finally, we have another SF appearance that everyone asked for, and another meeting with the long-haired German that no one asked for. So, let’s go ahead and put a hold on a possible Cincy or Vienna rematch, Jan, and just roll the tape straight back to Paris. 👌
FORZA. 🦊🧡
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