Lightstreamfader 🙏🫠

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Lightstreamfader 🙏🫠

Lightstreamfader 🙏🫠

@Lightstream01

22 year old who watches 90s Anime, tweets random stuff, reads poetry, plays obscure 2000s RPGs, etc. Highly malfunctioning autist, (LED lights are too loud)

Eíre เข้าร่วม Temmuz 2025
554 กำลังติดตาม341 ผู้ติดตาม
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Lightstreamfader 🙏🫠
Lightstreamfader 🙏🫠@Lightstream01·
5 years old ~ Rep because you don't know others' exist 9 years old ~ Rep because your cope of day dreaming is the only escape 15 years old ~ Rep because you think you're undeserving/can't access HRT 19 years old ~ Rep because you've grown completely dissociated from everything
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lepidopteroid
lepidopteroid@brobrobroaaa·
@Lightstream01 yeah whenever i achieve a semi-stable dissociation mindstate, i go outside and all the cope immediately crumbles upon seeing some random cís woman
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lepidopteroid
lepidopteroid@brobrobroaaa·
going outside and seeing foids is actually unbearable
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Lightstreamfader 🙏🫠
Lightstreamfader 🙏🫠@Lightstream01·
I DIY Valerate on and off because it does fuck all compared to when I was taking T-blockers and E through official means
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Lightstreamfader 🙏🫠
Lightstreamfader 🙏🫠@Lightstream01·
I was taking HRT in stealth by 18 and saw a lot of progress... My medical service dropped me after 1 year and a half, it's my fault I essentially broke under pressure.. I dropped out of contact and lost it all again
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vida
vida@oomfmoder·
@Lightstream01 i think it's definitely still possible u make progress then, not over yet
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vida
vida@oomfmoder·
@Lightstream01 oh ok i see, im dumb bc i think i already heard u say that lol
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Lightstreamfader 🙏🫠
Lightstreamfader 🙏🫠@Lightstream01·
@oomfmoder I take it on and off because it does fuck all compared to when I was taking T-blockers and E through official means
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Lightstreamfader 🙏🫠
Lightstreamfader 🙏🫠@Lightstream01·
I don't feel happy unless I delude myself (through dissociation) into thinking I look feminine, in which instance clarity becomes dangerous... every other day I feel kinda numb
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Lightstreamfader 🙏🫠
Lightstreamfader 🙏🫠@Lightstream01·
@sillymoder41 I cried at anything and all the time as a child, in my day to day I feel empty now... I'm not channelling my emotions on the level I should, I have like a semi monthly meltdown now (I'm unhappy 24/7 unless I delude myself through dissociation into thinking I look feminine)..
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🌿🌸 chibichippy 🦢🦌
🌿🌸 chibichippy 🦢🦌@sillymoder41·
cried sm as a kid. childhood sucked + always been so sensitive put ALL my effort as a teen into repressing. crying faded away. sensitive as i am, NOTHING makes me cry anymore i assume i'll be like this forever: unless i build a life that allows me expression of my internal self
Lightstreamfader 🙏🫠@Lightstream01

I hate that I fell down the dissociative rabbit-hole, at least dysphoria was a constant "affirmation" of what I was (all be it through acknowledgement what I wasn't)... I was unable to lie to myself then, today I've sunk so deep into repression.. It's not hard to let it take you

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Lightstreamfader 🙏🫠
Lightstreamfader 🙏🫠@Lightstream01·
@Ruefulli Interesting I only have a pseudo-sexual romantic interest in males or most people really it's probably repressed inside of me like everything is
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Ruen
Ruen@Ruefulli·
@Lightstream01 Looking back, it was more easy to accept having same-sex attraction because accepting my own sex is harder.
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