Simon Lord

@bphillipsonMP “Ok minister, we are floundering in the polls and expecting a wipe out in the local elections. Say something to motivate the masses.” “Free breakfast clubs!” “Well, if that doesn’t persuade the plebs to vote for us, minister, nothing will.”

✔️ Lifting a record number of children out of poverty ✔️ Free breakfast clubs in schools ✔️ Accessible, affordable childcare ✔️ Free school meals for more children Change like that only comes with a vote for Labour 🌹

@BenjBenjBenjM @DazzyBroad @metpoliceuk @declassifiedUK Really?

@MPC3675 @DazzyBroad @metpoliceuk @declassifiedUK They’re not amateurs they do it for a job, hope this helps.

🚨WATCH: Metropolitan police commissioner Mark Rowley pushed our chief video journalist Alex Morris after we asked him about the ban on Palestine Action. Is this how you expect the chief of police to act?

@ShabanaMahmood @UKLabour …….if you are insane.

Vote Labour 🌹

@calculus52 Well done. I hope that your mental health improves very soon.

I've voted Labour! The best PM and government in decades

@Captain34466242 @ExInspectorBDS 🤣🤣🤣 proper coppering! 🤣🤣🤣

@MPC3675 @ExInspectorBDS I did see a City Wpc deal with a drunk on a night bus-not so gobby being led squeaking down the stairs of a route master by a firm and painful grip on his bollocks. Many years ago now.

People rarely attacked female officers when I joined. I sometimes suspect that might be because, on the rare occasions they did so, we'd beat them to within an inch of their lives. Happier times.

@lancelachlan Avoids persona scandals? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣breathe 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣breathe 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣aw bollocks, I’ve just pissed myself.😖😖😖😖😖😖

Here’s a sharper version that flips the framing a bit more: The right-wing media hate Keir Starmer because he’s boringly normal. Drinks beer, watches football, spends time with his family, avoids personal scandals, and gets on with the job instead of chasing every online outrage of the week.

@AngelaRayner The gullible school kids that you accosted the other day might believe you, we don’t.

No matter what they say, Reform UK will only let down the working class. They voted against our better deal for workers. With your support, we got it done. Only Labour will work for working people. Vote Labour 🌹

@parlyparty @TheGreenParty The TikTok generation, young and gullible, voting for a party that will make no difference whatsoever to their lives, led by a man with a distant relationship to the truth and filled with the worst of the Corbyn supporters. What could possibly go wrong?

My 18yr old son is voting for @TheGreenParty tomorrow. So are all his 18 yr old friends. All the bots on TikTok that billionaires money can buy won’t change their minds. They’re voting for their futures. They’re voting for humanity. They’re voting for #Hope💚 #VoteGreen💚

@Lord_Talbot64 @copping_nicola As much as I’d like to ridicule him, he is actually using a cordless phone.

Keir Starmer “calling voters at Labour HQ” on a landline phone that isn’t even plugged in 😂

@InspGadgetBlogs I recall during my service a guy was promoted to skipper on the strength of his interview where he declared himself bisexual and disabled as he claimed to suffer from dyspraxia. They couldn’t promote him quickly enough as he ticked plenty of boxes.

I know a man who pretended to be gay to get promoted to Ch Inspector. This worked for two reasons. First the force was 'under-represented' by LGBTQ+ in senior ranks. Second, they dared not fail an openly LGBTQ+ candidate. Only non-police followers will not believe this.

@valeriemann20 @KitKlarenberg @shirvani_rose Shame on the defendants, every one of them, particularly the cowardly streak of piss that struck the female police officer with a sledgehammer, is what you meant to say.

@KitKlarenberg @shirvani_rose Shame on the judge and shame on the jury. I wonder how handpicked they were.

Absolutely scandalous four Palestine Action activists have been convicted in a deeply corrupted trial. Jurors were barred from knowing they would be sentenced as terrorists, and could be acquitted on conscience. They face *very* lengthy jail terms now. aljazeera.com/news/2026/5/5/…

@mollierunner @DWeller50261 @benonwine Yep, damage over £5000 in value has a maximum sentence of 10 years. However, aggravated criminal damage (which the defendants were initially tried for if I recall) has a maximum sentence of life imprisonment if life was endangered. Mad, isn’t it?

@MPC3675 @DWeller50261 @benonwine So harming a persn carries a lesser sentence than harming an object? Crazy.

A Palestine Action activist and deranged Lunatic who broke a female police officer’s back with a sledgehammer has been found guilty of grievous bodily harm. What should the sentence be?

@politixintheuk My mistake. I thought that he said that his focus was on lying.

Keir Starmer vows to keep focus on cost of living! PM says it's "really important that we as a government keep our focus on the cost of living" as he pledges to protect the British public from the impact of the Trump War.

@aftertheflood_ @JackElsom @JuliaHB1 @BBCr4today You just got to love the experts who give their baseless opinions from the comfort of their armchairs who have never dealt with a violent criminal intent on murder in their lives.

@JackElsom @JuliaHB1 @BBCr4today with the proper training i think its possible to be heroic without repeatedly kicking someone in the head. tasering causes the body to contract, hence why the grasp on the knife continues. does repeatedly kicking someone in the head reduce that effect. i doubt it.

Zack Polanski wrongly claimed on @BBCr4today that the Golders Green suspect was "handcuffed" when he was kicked by officers. That's simply not right... his hands were free and he was holding a knife! Polanski to Nick Robinson: "I was traumatised by seeing someone handcuffed and repeatedly kicked in the head”.

@GBPolitcs And that, in a nutshell, is what is wrong with this country. A terrorist gets a couple of boots in the swede to encourage him to release his weapon and the usual soggy gusseted bed wetters have a touch of the vapours.

🚨NEW: Zack Polanski says he was "traumatised" by footage of police detaining the Golders Green terror-suspect

@tesa1945 @misspaulalondon Bit of a sweeping generalisation there, boyo.

@misspaulalondon Unfortunately short haul flights are filled with the sort of people who drink as soon as they wake up. That's not for me. I fly to Australia and am offered free alcoholic drinks, I don't bother with it, just a diet coke for me. I would be happy that bars are closed early morning.

Early morning pre-flight airport pints should be banned, Ryanair boss says.. What do you think? dailymail.com/news/article-1…

@history99917180 And you thought that this retirement lark would be lounging in bed until dinner time and coffee mornings with NARPO. 🤣🤣🤣

Morning all. Just a picture of me at the horse yard at 06:30 contemplating my life choices. I’ll just repeat the important bit, 06:30!!!!!