Mathais Carly

RIP Chick Norris: FACTS about Chuck Norris: 1. Chuck Norris doesn’t do push-ups… He pushes the Earth down. ⸻ 2.When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on — he turns the dark off. ⸻ 3.Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice. ⸻ 4.Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience. ⸻ 5.Chuck Norris can divide by zero. ⸻ 6.There is no theory of evolution… just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live. ⸻ 7.Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits. ⸻ 8.When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. ⸻ 9.Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. ⸻ 10.The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.

Jerome Powell: The Fed is concerned about the very, very low level of job creation. Over the past 6 months, if you adjust for overcounting, there is effectively zero net job creation in the private sector.

Powell: "The thing a good number of people on the committee are concerned about is the very very low level of job creation. If you adjust what has been the trend job creation over the past 6 months for what we think is the overstatement due to overcounting, effectively there is 0 net job creation in the private sector"

BREAKING: A record 104.3 million Americans are now "outside" of the labor force. These are individuals who are neither employed nor actively looking for work, including retirees, students, stay-at-home parents, and discouraged workers. This exceeds the 2020 pandemic peak by 600,000 when nearly the entire economy was shut down. Since the 2008 Financial Crisis, the number of people not in the labor force has surged +25.7 million and +35.1 million since 2000. As a % of the labor force, this metric stands at 61.2%, the highest level since the 1970s, excluding the pandemic. All while the US population stands at a record 342.5 million, up +61.4 million since January 2000. Cracks in the labor market are spreading.

Two-time Pro Bowl QB Kyler Murray has signed a one-year contract with the Vikings, his agent @ErikBurkhardt tells me and @RapSheet. The deal includes a no-tag clause. Murray will make $36.8 million this season, with Arizona paying all but the minimum salary.

@JJWatt 10% or less.. Not gonna NOT tip but the amount changes based on the what service is provided

Genuine question on a restaurant situation: You walk up to a counter to order. You find your own table and seat yourself. If you order coffee, they hand you a cup and you go fill it up yourself. If you order food, they hand you a buzzer and when it goes off, you go pick it up yourself. The iPad has a “20%, 25%, 30%, Other” tip option, with 20% already preselected. What’s your move?

I think we just found the Ultimate Party House, @TommyO53 @Chris_Hawkey @ZachHalverson @MeatSauce1 @PowerTripKFAN @PowerTripBets

BREAKING: US jobs numbers have now been revised down in each of the last 13 months, by a total of -710,000 jobs. This means employment was initially overstated by an average of ~55,000 jobs per month. US job numbers were revised down by another -4,000 jobs in January and -65,000 in December. This brings the December reading down to -17,000, marking the 5th contraction over the last 9 months. Since January 2024, there have been downward revisions in 24 out of 25 months. US labor market data is more unreliable than ever.

@dionnewarwick @laufey

Who would you like to see on it? 👀

@Ssnyder1835 It's the not the creative teams, it's the corporate level people who want a complete monopoly, because that is how capitalism works. Screw everyone else and buy MY product...

People sometimes think DC and Marvel folks each want the other team to fail but the opposite is true. Both root for each other. Comics work best when both companies are firing on all cylinders.

As the old saying goes… “This is the time of year when the North hates the metro. The Metro hates the private schools. And everyone hates Edina.”

An instant classic in the Minnesota Boys Hockey State Tournament 🏒 Warroad defeats Hibbing-Chisholm for the Class A title in overtime 🔥 📺 @KSTP

The US economy lost 92,000 jobs last month, far worse than expected. cnn.it/4ba3IRh

@CheyCab With the kind of clients @MayoClinicME gets, I am not surprised. Highway 52 has quite the VIP/limos on it, north and Southbound...

Some of you live in your mom’s basement don’t understand that one minute we might have Mark Cuban in the car and the next Warren Buffet. I drove the grain guy to Mayo Clinic for weeks. Many hours of interesting convo.

They should compete to see who could pay their employees more

You manifested it early. The official #Lanterns teaser is here. Coming this August.

BREAKING: QatarEnergy just declared Force Majeure. Three words that mean: we cannot deliver, and legally, we do not have to. This is no longer a supply disruption. This is a contract collapse. Force Majeure is not a precaution. It is a formal legal declaration that an unforeseeable event beyond QatarEnergy’s control has made fulfillment impossible. Every affected buyer just had their contract voided. The gas they were counting on is gone, and they have no legal recourse to get it back. 82% of Qatar’s LNG goes to Asia. China relies on Qatar for 30% of its LNG imports. India 42 to 52%. South Korea 14 to 19%. Taiwan 25%. Japan is already rationing to spot markets. Asian benchmark prices jumped 39% the day production stopped. Force Majeure just made that permanent until further notice. Indian companies have already cut gas supplies to industry by 10 to 30%. That is not a market adjustment. That is factories running at reduced capacity today, across the world’s most populous continent, because Iran sent drones into Ras Laffan. Here is the number the market still has not fully absorbed. Two weeks to restart a liquefaction train after a full cold shutdown. Then two more weeks to reach full capacity. That is a minimum of four weeks at zero, assuming no further strikes, no security complications, no inspection delays. The war is still running. There is no security guarantee. There is no restart timeline. There is no floor. Every LNG contract in Asia just became a spot market problem. Every spot market problem just became an inflation problem. Every inflation problem just became a central bank problem. This started as a war in the Middle East. It is now inside every factory, every power plant, and every gas bill across Asia. Price that chain. open.substack.com/pub/shanakaans…

@SunshineCVE @PaulSaxMD @NEJM Which is funny because as a commercial construction worker I have that same test, hood and spray, and maybe to my uncollege-educated mind, hospital screening/doctor screening should be a little more specific?

@PaulSaxMD @NEJM I have worn the SAME commercially available N95 since I was fitted as a med student. Can we stop with the hoods and sprays? Please 😭

Hey look! @nejm moved my writing to a new spot. Here's the first post, a rant about a particularly annoying requirement for those of us in work in hospitals (link below) 1/3

Excited to introduce my new web site, cleverly titled marneygellner.com 💻 💡 Available for keynote speaking! Or moderating panels, emceeing banquets and occasional stand-up comedy 🥸

Sextortion terrorizes teens in Minnesota and beyond startribune.com/sextortion-sui…