Maxime “Dalton Schultz” Goldstick III

BREAKING: Brandeis and Washington University St. Louis have agreed to a “win or lose, we booze” burner bash in Waltham following the conclusion of Saturday’s doubleheader, sources tell Maxime Goldstick III. Deal is pending Coach Bloom approval. @GartrellJacobs #bigiftrue

@ack_georgeH Don’t like this Cora firing. The problem is roster construction, not coaching. Breslow reaping what he’s sown after gutting the lineup over the past year. #bresgettingcannedsoon #goddamnit

@BLEWTHEUAA @ack_georgeH @Dingleton_John Ebbs and flows, big stick. #ebbsandflows

I feel as though the #theburnerverse is fading away. I’m calling out some guys to step up their game. @ack_georgeH - I’m worried you’re past your prime. Please step up @Dingleton_John - you have the potential to be great in this league.

@Benchjockey123 Deep Sea? Good scent. #getawhiff #whaddyasaysanjay

Line up for tonight. Got Coors on the mound. #gonnabeagoodone

@theUAAblower UAA final standings predictions? #whatdoestheblowerthink #ihavekeptblowin

@ack_georgeH No garbage time in the UAA, and it’s not over till it’s over. Sources tell Goldstick III the Judges are coming for blood. Will be a good series in Atlanta. #eagledown #playforhonor

Let’s go brandies. Let’s go Charlie Kirk…. OPA! OPA!

Big fan of the how this Payton Tolle feller operates. Pitches with some serious cajones. #straightupgrittyballer #haveanightgiancarlo

@floundertime4L Yeah alright tough guy. Let’s go fishing soon. #billybadassoverhere

@MaxLuvsUAA Wow, got a response from THE Maxime, Ruler of all burners, Chief Justice of the BV. My wife’s panties just got a little wet

Hey guys I’m back. I seriously apologize, my wife checked my dms with a torta baddie and filed for divorce. It’s ok I talked her down from a ledge, literally. -gone fishing #closecall #divorce

@Bart_Quelab Bart this is really quite fantastic. Love your analysis here. I got Wash sweeping the Spartans though, hoping they can finally give Chase deBrickley a little run support. #equalecanfuckingbang

UAA Week 5 Predictions: WashU 3 > 1 CWRU UChicago 4 > 0 NYU Emory 1 < 3 Brandies Look Below for my Key Matchups

@ChadTossesSalad Boom! #brianmacwontlikethis

As requested @MaxLuvsUAA

With the unfortunate rebranding of the #UAA Id like to find a silver lining and launch some #UAA merch (old logo). Like or retweet if you’re interested!

@tillertime3 You know you dropped a heater when Old Man Tiller comes out of his den to reply. #uncstillgotit #truevet

Hearing from sources that this was the runner up. #glaze #maurerthrewarealcg

@ChadTossesSalad Patiently waiting on the NYU fight club merch. #needdat #hookmeup

@ROsborneNolan Rick I couldn’t agree more. I think the committee is scared of having too much grit and good ball in one tournament. #jesuschristcanwecompeteplease

Only thing worse than the new logo is the lack of a conference tourney! Let the boys play

@NorbertDinkus Gotcha. #swedishnotscandinavian

@MaxLuvsUAA Max, that logo is atrocious. No other way to put it. It’s Swedish.

Anyone get eyes on this new UAA logo? Not the biggest fan, old one looks much better. Looks like it belongs on the side of a plane, which I guess tracks. #toomodern #flosportsairline

@GartrellJacobs Yeah not awful. Just #meh

@NorbertDinkus Wouldn’t go that far, Norbert? Is that Scandinavian? #funkyname #notsure

@MaxLuvsUAA This is the worst thing that has happened to the UAA since Case voted for 4 game series 👎

@realCalebDurbin @BillEpstein643 @BLEWTHEUAA That’s funny Durbs, especially because he has a higher BA this year than any collegiate season you had. #soongisthetruth #durbinmaybenot

@BillEpstein643 @BLEWTHEUAA To be honest Bill, Soong has been a true inspiration to me this season, carrying on my legacy as an elite UAA talent. I’m honored to wear his number out there.

@AriGoldUAA I pray your sources are right. I wake up every day and thank the Lord I get to watch these two bright young ballers play. No one will miss the Oongs more than me when they decide to hang em up. #shudderatthethought #prideofuaa

@MaxLuvsUAA Thanks Dalton. Just got off the phone with the Hopkins Director of Compliance. According to sources, we may see another 4-5 years of Soong vs. Koong.

Most will tell their kids that the true legacy battle was 2016 Curry vs. Bron. The wise will tell their kids about the Soong vs. Koong showdown of April 17-19, 2026 #uaa #whyd3