Mike 🦬 ⚔️

Because I'm getting older my audience is getting older. They've had to stop the show five times in the last two years cause somebody collapses. So they turn the lights on and I say call 911. Nobody has a phone because they put them in those canvas bags with a lock. So I gotta call 911. What's your emergency? He says is there a doctor in that room? I said I don't know. I don't like crowd work. He goes is the guy breathing? I've got the mic so I don't wanna be too disrespectful to the guy that could be dead. He said can you get close to him? I said I don't know how long the cord is on the mic. The paramedics arrived and he did die but still I got some good laughs out of it.

@Matt_Bove The list?

The other day there were a handful of people in the Sabres locker room. Zach Benson was one of the last guys off the ice. When he got into the room he turned on some music. It was not what I was expecting. As it turns out, he has an entire playlist of “beautiful songs” 🤣

Vancouver reporter says Canucks revoked press credentials and removed him from game following story about ownership awfulannouncing.com/nhl/trevor-beg…

@MongoC130 @pham1717 Pretty woke of you David

@pham1717 Seattle will win a Stanley Cup before Buffalo

Then Oleksiak makes Stanley answer for a hard hit on Wright that Wright ducked into

@chrisinthe716 @PeteGuelli @JourdonLaBarber

@PeteGuelli @JourdonLaBarber Crazy what pudding a tale to team on the ice would do only took 15 years

Sabres fans performing as well as the team. Not surprised! #sabrehood

@AdamLeviLAX @LofflerScott I prefer the 9 goal game for the 3 peat.

@LofflerScott That 3-goal game must’ve put people to sleep.

The Saskatchewan Rush and Buffalo Bandits should play every week.

Hamburg’s Joe Resetarits scores a massive goal for the Bandits with 45.3 seconds left — off an assist from Dhane Smith — and Buffalo comes back from three goals down in the fourth quarter to beat Saskatchewan, 9-7. That’s five straight wins for the @NLLBandits.

@ChrissyCasilio @realDonaldTrump Careful he doesn’t sexually assault you

Got to see the famous @realDonaldTrump dance up close!

@BaseballQuotes1 You meant *first not best

Pirates steel mill welding helmet might be the best home run celly in baseball

@ByMHarrington Worse is he played George Washington in Hamilton. You can’t be Pres1 and mess that up haha

Dude at the #Mets game just butchered the lyrics of the anthem. Woof.

@Ozoon_CA @CTCHockeyPod That Gord hat 🔥

The real reason why the Stanley Cup playoffs aren't 1v8 @CTCHockeyPod FULL EP ⤵️ YouTube: bit.ly/47oemCY Spotify: spoti.fi/42Zirtd #ClearingTheCrease

@goodandnormal @PeterBoatLife Lay off the Timon guy. He just finished a long shift at Imperial.

@PeterBoatLife Ok boat life lol

Congratulations to the St. Francis Prep Red Raiders on winning the 2026 USA Hockey High School National Championship Division 1A!

One of the saddest things about America is how deep anti-intellectualism has given rise to not only Jesse Watters, who is extremely stupid, but Nick Shirley, whose stupidity could only mean he’d be a conservative hero. A real country would laugh them both back to their holes

Thanks to Trump, gas is up 45% in 2 months and you have to show up 4 hours early to make your flight. But NO MEN IN WOMEN’S SPORTS, or something like that, right?

@Buffalo_Blondie This is the lords work! (Which you already do with the diocese)

I’m currently out of work, so I’ve decided to start my own business—addressing a critical need that society is clearly struggling with: spelling You don’t loose weight. Cars don’t use breaks. She didn’t get apart in a play. You didn’t go too school. You shouldn’t of dropped out.

@Sabremetrix @PeteGuelli Having to call and order something over the phone is objectively hilarious in 2026

Another day of asking @PeteGuelli for an online Sabres Store

@_callmebigdaddy @Amenttttt @keithedwards Alpha 😂

@Amenttttt @keithedwards Fat? 215 is a normal athletic weight for a 6'3" alpha male

He’s dying

@AdamLeviLAX @cdevaney Just did the math. That will make Saturday Johnny T’s 500th regular season game with the bandits.

🚨NLL HISTORY🚨 The Buffalo Bandits will play their 500th regular season game in franchise history on Saturday night. They will become the 1st franchise in National Lacrosse League history (not including franchises that have relocated) to play 500 games. A legendary franchise.

@ChefReactions My buddy told me he ran into you. Took a lap to try to find you and express how much I enjoy your content. Alas, you were elusive. Hope to see you in Buffalo in the future!