Petite monstr

If there's a Gary Dee here who has been in Cornwall recently, we found something yesterday that we'd like to return to you! And it's not the one shown in this pic....

@sarky_sheena Errrrmm we are all raging alcoholics just trapped inside 99% of the time 😂

All the pub gardens are busy, this is why the UK can’t have sun all the time, we’d be raging alcoholics and having to pay for our pints on Klarna.

@dailyecho Sounds like a crew member had a bet after the fox made it to New York

Raccoon stows away on cargo ship to Southampton ift.tt/Oyfe5Qv

@fesshole Thats because I'm in the car behind using my jedi powers to keep them green

Whenever I approach a traffic light I do a Jedi swipe to change the lights to red so the person behind me gets stuck in traffic. Never works

if you have a window that gets afternoon light, please sit in it. just once. with nothing in your hands. that light traveled 93 million miles specifically to find you.

@WestsideLAGuy Second right

This is the first pic of a Hinge profile. Based on your understanding of female psychology, which one of these girls does this profile belong to?

@GLB_88 Oh flipping brilliant, thank you 🤪😂

I’ve the Hokey Cokey in my head so now you must! 😘

@dailyecho This picture reminded me of this...

AI voice bot for missed bin reports and waste service complaints ift.tt/BI6Plui

i love how the bumblebees are always first on the scene. hardly any flowers out but the faintest bit of sun and they’re cruising about like wellington bombers looking at shit. is this a flower? is this a flower? oi mate are you a fucking flower? haha laters 🐝

@leahsmithh7 Yes always shouting JUST GOOOOOO!

People who brake at visibly empty roundabouts fill me with an ungodly not human like rage

The Three Meeting Theory // Thread //

Anyone like to gift me one of these please? #AusGP #georgerussel #F1 #TAGHeuer

President Trump has announced he will raise global tariffs from 10% to 15% on countries "many of which", he claims, have been "ripping off the U.S. for decades" For more on this and other news visit trib.al/Rx0iR33

@BradfemlyWalsh Been there. 'nurse, nurse, nurse,NURSE NURSE NUUURSE!' Just shut tfu!!!

Nurse: why aren't you sleeping? Me: *resisting the urge to point out that I'm next to The Human Cough Machine, across from an old lady who keeps calling out for her dead husband and across the hall there's a woman with manic dementia who screams almost constantly at night*

@theiaincameron This is a great fact, thank you for sharing

The closest rival to Loch Ness is Lough Neagh in Northern Ireland, which despite its much larger surface area, is relatively shallow. It holds only half as much water (3.5 cubic KMs). Windermere in the Lake District holds just 0.3 KMs cubed, one 25th of Loch Ness. 3/3

By a distance, Loch Ness is the largest body of fresh water in the U.K. by volume. It holds a staggering 7.5 cubic KMs of water, the equivalent to three million Olympic-sized swimming pools. Even the Amazon, the world's biggest river, which discharges 230,000 tonnes of 1/3

@abrigroup this driver might need a parking refresh 🤔

@63grussell63 Hand-wash! F that

that’s so cute that they get little laundry instructions in their race suits

A great day to be on twitter, half my timeline on the new Ferrari rear wing and half on Andrews arrest with a smattering of Olympic ball ups 😂

“Ted, would you like to pretend to be in a shadow cabinet with me?”

@GazzettaFerrari But...its not the final day...

🚨 | BREAKING! It’s being said Ferrari deliberately saved this update for the final day, and that it could be worth around 0.150–0.250s. The idea is to convert exhaust airflow into downforce. This morning, some figures — including Andrea Stella — reportedly studied that area closely. 📰 @KemalSengulll