Nick Morrell

@Tanukichi_mingo I actually have one on me at all times when awake.

アメリカだと常に銃を持ってるのかどうか気になる。朝とかママにハンカチ持った？お弁当忘れてない？銃もちゃんとある？って聞かれるのかどうか。

@GeneralPatton83 Holy crap. Thought the right hand one was you and now I find out it’s your niece? No way!

Almost 20 years apart

@GeneralPatton83 😂

The Grim Peeper! 😂

A guy was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. “If I do 180 mph, will you take your clothes off?” he asked. “Yes!” replied his adventurous girlfriend. And as he got up to 180 mph, she peeled off all of her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded on some gravel and flipped over. The girl was thrown clear of the car, but he was jammed underneath the steering wheel. “Go and get help!” he cried. “But I can’t! I’m not wearing any clothes!” “Take my shoe and cover yourself!” he screamed. Holding a shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road to a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded with the service station manager, “Please help me! My boyfriend’s stuck!” The manager said, “There’s nothing I can do! He’s in too far!”

@SnarkyPotatoes 😂

@MarieJuana6985 Well this is awkward. 😂

😏

@yourunicorn42 You’re making ass tweets?

Blessed are those who like my dumb ass tweets. 😇

@SecRubio @NMPK47 Good

Until recently, Hamideh Soleimani Afshar and her daughter were green card holders living lavishly in the United States. Afshar is the niece of deceased Iranian Major General Qasem Soleimani. She is also an outspoken supporter of the Iranian regime who celebrated attacks on Americans and referred to our country as the "Great Satan." This week, I terminated both Afshar and her daughter's legal status and they are now in ICE custody, pending removal from the United States. The Trump Administration will not allow our country to become a home for foreign nationals who support anti-American terrorist regimes.

@dinoincrisis Give us a wave! Oh wait

hi my american t rex fans

@__my__at I really don’t wanna answer this. 😂

How’s my meat looking

#BREAKING 🚨: Artemis II astronauts are now reporting a bad burning smell emanating around their toilet

@GeneralPatton83 They said what they meant.

I think you meant 'Virginia Ham'

@SnarkyPotatoes @janefkndoe Tell me your secrets.

@janefkndoe I can't tell you how many times I've done that 🤣🤣

I swiped “potatoes” and got “pussies” instead.

@Isa_11_AC You? No way! 😮

Okay… overdid it lol

@dinoincrisis Yep. It’s definitely love.

who you calling stinking you spinofatfuckuglyterribledisgustingsaurus.

@peachontwitta 😂

@NickMorrell67 Pls no 😭

At work yesterday I asked to see a pic of this dude’s wife and he showed me a fucking NUDE

@InsideLucysHead 😂

You're offered £50,000, but if you accept, the person you hate most in the world will get £100,000... You taking it? Yes, why wouldn't you want £150,000?

@GeneralPatton83 Found my new phone Home Screen. 😂

Happy SaturGay Bunny fest 🐰🌈

@JamesBlunt It’s certainly not coming from the SO. Not even once, much less 21.

I’m not sure I get enough alone time to achieve this.

@honeymoon250 Anyone? Bueller?

If you know what movie this picture is from I will follow you?