OneeyedSam🫣

@Yoga_Queen01 Nice write up. Even though I stopped reading half way because I don't have any intentions of unaliving a human being when I'm not even capable of kpaing chicken. I prefer comedies, romance, high school, epic movies and even cartoons. I no wan stress abeg

Disturbing Things I’ve Learned From Watching Crime Movies: 1. If you intend to commit crimes like murder, robbery, or theft, always wear shoes smaller than your size. This will accomplish two things: i) It will leave a shoe print that is not size. ii) Any eye witness will describe the murderer or robber as someone with a limp. 2. If you try to dispose a body by burying it, dig the hole at least 8 ft deep. Place the corpse at the bottom, cover it with several layers of soil, then position a dead animal ( preferably a pig) around the 6 ft mark before you finally cover up. But if you decide to dump the body in a river, then you need to vertically cut it open from chest to navel point. Because if you just dump it like that, the body builds up gases which usually causes corpse to swell and rise to the top of the water after some days. 3. Buy whatever supplies you need for the crime 1 - 2 months ahead of the D-day. Never purchase everything from the same store, and always pay in cash. 4. Always put on extra clothes including gloves. 5. Never take your main phone to the crime scene. Also, on the day of the crime, share your live location with a friend while leaving your phone at home. 6. Don’t hire a hit man for the job. Do it yourself, and leave no traces. 7. Use bleach preferably Hydrogen peroxide, Ammonia, & Chlorine bleach to clean off blood stains. Sprinkle iron powder after wiping off. 8. Never leave witnesses, even if it’s a kid. (Sadly) 9. Learn to shut your mouth and keep up with your daily routine after the crime. 10. Don’t always feel like you have to help strangers along the road. Even a nice old woman can be dangerous. 11. Before getting into your car, always check the backseat and truck. 12. Lock your doors as soon as you get into your house or car. 13. Avoid routines that make your daily movements too predictable. Always change your routes and timing. 14. Always keep your phone charged. 15. Keep emergency contacts easy to reach and memorise at least one number in case your phone is unavailable. 16. Avoid using headphones or AirPods in crowded, busy, or lonely areas. 17. Don’t immediately take off to your house especially if you feel you’re being followed. 18. Always share your live location with any trusted person. 19. If the victim was your partner, neighbor, family, or friend, don’t get too involved with trying to help the police investigate the case. Allow them do their job, else you become the suspect. 20. Always make your home look occupied whenever you’re away. N.B .. I’m sharing this as a personal opinion shaped by scenes I’ve seen in films over time. I do not advise or support any illegal act, including the concealment of crimes or disposal of human remains. Such conduct carries serious legal consequences.

@T___Banky @Dontee___ @UnkleAyo Why you come fold naa. You dey fear?

@OneeyedSam00 @Dontee___ @UnkleAyo You probably ride it better than his wife

For the Records Salako started this hate campaign against Tunde Onakoya. It's noted!

@PeterPsquare Attention seeker. Why answer PSquare? Or have you forgotten it was a stage name you and your twin once shared? You change your date of birth but can't drop the stage name. 🤡🤡🤡

Dear Family, Friends, and Fans, I’m making it official. November 18th is no longer my birthday celebration date. Please note that I will not be accepting any messages or gifts on that day. My birthday will now be celebrated on November 30th. This is a personal decision, and I truly appreciate your understanding. Thank you all.🙅🏽‍♂️👍🏾😉

@OzohGloria80708 @Admiral_Cyborg They're all complicit

@Admiral_Cyborg At this point, Southern governors should scrutinize the movement of people into their states via Dangote Group trucks, especially with the growing security concerns.

This man here is the Vigilante Head ( OSPAC) from Igwuruta- Ali Rivers-State. On April 12 Yersterday, Farmers reported that they saw strange faces in the bushes of Igwuruta Ali / Ipo areas. Vanguard reports it as suspected Herders. This man mobilized some men and went searching in the bushes. They were met with heavy gunfire. They returned fire but it appears the armed bandits had more firepower. As it stands, the OSPAC head is missing. It seems they abducted him. The other day I was sounding out warning but some commenters said I should remove South South from list. I looked, laughed and shook my head. Look, From North to Middle down to SW, to SE to SS, you are surrounded. Some of the Iron Condem, Okada, Shoe shiner, Menial workers etc you see in the SE and SS are under an organized command waiting for signals to move. Every part of Nigeria that feels it can't get to them is as delusional as it get. This man from Rivers-State is missing.

@Favourvictory92 @bigwizarrdd I can imagine 😂😂😂

@OneeyedSam00 @bigwizarrdd Body dey pepper 🌶 me lol 😆

Fela and Diddy babe go tear ACL, what a verse!!! Wizkid too good😭

@Jiggaman020 @EntBuzzNaija @fallyipupa01 @WizkidSource @wizkidayo Like..😂

@EntBuzzNaija @fallyipupa01 @WizkidSource @wizkidayo Too hard, that girl wan kill wiz 🤣

👑🦅 JAM @wizkidayo youtu.be/5uZ25_etXHk

@Favourvictory92 @bigwizarrdd 😂😂

@bigwizarrdd See as dis bebe dey squeeze my man anyhow hiss abeg nor angry 😠 me o

@Alexsamaine @victor_onyibest Somebody wey kidnappers fit carry as dey travel sef

@victor_onyibest Man doesn't want to spend all his days on the road 😂 The matter for long

Now I know why 😂

@victorawa14320 @Raphinh_ @MrMekzy_ @Remi_AFR Immediately he said active ingredient, my mind just switch off like NEPA

@Raphinh_ @MrMekzy_ @Remi_AFR Oga he had to use a simple example. With all this grammar you just spoke, how's a layman supposed to understand anything. Emphasis on "layman".

Woman: Pharm do you have this drug? *Hands me a prescription* Me: Yes i do.. This is it ma, it’s 4500. Woman: But it’s not the same name, what’s on this paper is cefuroxime. That’s what I want. Me: And that’s what I just gave you. It’s the same drug trust me. This is just the brand name of the drug. Woman: Wait let me call my doctor to confirm. Me: Okay no problem. Woman: He said you should give me Zinnat. Me: Okay it’s available, it 18,000. Woman: Ah it’s too expensive. Shey you said that other one is the same drug? It’ll still do the work abi? Me:

@aleeygiwa Police and trust in one sentence? Especially coming from a Nigerian police? That talk wey you dey find for my mouth, you no fit hear am

What would make you trust the police more?

@YulEdochie Yul,onye eriri eri. You're my person oo when it comes to nollywood. I still chose you over Judy and May brouhaha but you see in this APC matter, Nnaa yanataba azụ egbe igwe a gbagbuo gị. Unless you really want to prove that you never had integrity

ADC cannot fix this country. They have all been tested before and they all failed woefully.

@michaelfasina @UnkleAyo @Tee_Blaqq @AirtelNigeria My dear

@OneeyedSam00 @UnkleAyo @Tee_Blaqq same here, I even ran out of data, bought data yet @AirtelNigeria failed to credit me the data volume, only to get to office connect to wifi and realised that there was so much traffic

As a sexually active man, please pity your partners. 🙏 When you use public toilets, rinse your penis. Before you sit, lace with toilet papers. Use one boxer per day. Your penis care is also important to maintain her vagina's PH. You're the one causing the fishy smell.

@BADMUS863 @oku_yungx Alaye, which kind shalaye be this

@oku_yungx Hate is a strong word for someone who clearly still has time to think about me. But it’s fine, not everything is meant to be mutual. Life moves, people adjust.

I need a nonchalant response to “I hate you”

@oku_yungx @osemagnum "lol" or "whatever"

@yklef9 @SECTOR_TIME @trigottista @HQNigerianArmy My dear, ask him oo

@SECTOR_TIME @OneeyedSam00 @trigottista @HQNigerianArmy does Nigeria army look like they are interested in fighting terrorist??

Nigeria Army thought if they removed location tags and the name of the officer that made the post, we wouldn’t take a look See ehn, the days of your propaganda are over @HQNigerianArmy DEAL WITH IT.

@_dinomelaye Ara agbala Dino

Mo gallant

@_dinomelaye Our Dino has gone mad again oo

At the convention ground

@HenryUgwuEsq Congratulations Nnaa

Grateful to God and my family. Truly a special moment being sworn in as an Attorney in Florida and subsequently as an Assistant States Attorney for the 15th Judicial Circuit. Dual licensed in Nigeria and Florida, and proud of the journey.

@OzorNdiOzor You now want a young man for her? The other autistic boy got a grandma for a spouse oo. Anyways, na man dey do man

“I am giving out another of my adopted daughters in marriage. Her name is Chiemeka Chibuzor. She is 21 years old and has autism. She can speak and hear well. Requirements: • The man who wishes to marry her must be a young man • He must be physically and mentally fit on all form. Benefits include: • Lifetime financial support • Free house for life • A house built in the names of both (couple) • Regular unplanned supervision visits by OPM staff to ensure her safety and well-being • And many other hidden benefits This arrangement is to ensure that she is properly cared for, protected, and lives a happy life.”