Stout Geezer

@BovrilG Has a flawless, unhesitating and immaculate recital taken place? Yes, according to my sources Truly even now he looks down on the Bonnehommes from Heaven

🚨BREAKING 🚨 - SOURCES ANNOUNCE THAT, IN TENSE MEETING WITH PAPAL REPRESENTATIVE, VICE-PRESIDENT VANCE REPEATEDLY BROUGHT UP THE SLAUGHTER OF BEZIERS AND MENTIONED MONTSEGUR, WHERE THE PERFECTI JOYOUSLY DANCED INTO THE BESIEGERS’ BONFIRES - VANCE STATED HE HAD RECENTLY UNDERGONE THE CONSOLAMENTUM AND NOTED THAT HIS MURDER AT THE HANDS OF THE SWISS GUARDS WOULD MERELY FREE HIS SOUL FROM THE DEMIURGE’S PRISON OF MUD MADE FLESH

@DavidPGCSE Karaoke bar in Tokyo, 90 mins private room with unlimited drinks. Looks of horror and confusion as the 8th beer pitcher is ordered. Nobody does it better 🇬🇧

Imagine hanging up an "All the spirits you can drink in one hour for 9 quid" sign in any English market town

@CptHastings1916 I, accidentally and entirely through no fault of my own, had 6 pints before my nephew's 3rd birthday once. Dozed in the corner and waited for the sandwiches

This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England

@BovrilG What about Cornish? My foid has the classic phenotype for collecting oysters from a remote rocky cove

Reminder for anyone in MI5 who wants to vet me that every single long term relationship I’ve had has been with a woman from Yr Hen Ogledd. I’m vulnerable to a Brythonic conspiracy aimed at driving the Saxons back into the sea but little else.

@AwayDays_ Rolling out the red carpet for them after the arrangements for away fans last week? Next time make them meet in Mansfield 5 hours before kick off

The state the Fenerbahçe fans left the away end last night at Forest 🤦‍♂️

@fener__facts More than happy to arrange for a coach pickup for fans in Newark 5 hours before kick off 😂

Geçen hafta Nottingham taraftarları böyle karşılanmıştı. Fenerbahçe taraftarı İngiltere'de böyle sıcak karşılandı mı? İngiliz kulübünün 1 tane bile paylaşımı var mı? Biz bu şehri neden deplasman kulüplerine cennet yapıp kendi takımımıza cehennem yapıyoruz?

@BovrilG Trying to attract a higher calibre of reply guy? Fair enough

PSA: from midnight tonight I will stop reflexively liking every response to one of my Tweets. This isn’t because I don’t enjoy all of my reply guys immensely but because I thought it was making me come across as a little desperate and needy

@NutterMann @BovrilG Yeah VPN worked for me, it was only a matter of time before the Home Office tried to censor a frank discussion of British Virtues

@BovrilG I think it was a broken age restriction thing turned my vpn on and it works fine now. Such is life in Starmer's Britain

NEW BOVSTACK JUST DROPPED Read my rebuttal to Silly Sausage Britain and description of the values I most admire in the British at the below link

@jfwduffield In the 18th century it was common in caricature to compare the average Englishman's diet to that of his generally far poorer French counterpart, see Hogarth etc

Wrong. The destruction of British food culture in the 20th Century was the result of the two World Wars, rationing & the aggressive suppression of private consumption after WW2. You just need to look at the menus of British restaurants & hotels in Edwardian Britain.

@BazballNation Add me, got the Zak Crawley faceswaps ready to go

If anyone wants to join the Ashes GC, just drop a comment below!

@pegobry_en @YvDelx Yeah, there's virtually none from Wales. Did try one Welsh whiskey and it wasn't great

@YvDelx I thought whiskey comes from Scotland and Ireland?

Foreigner here Italy is famous for pizza Turkey is famous for kebabs Wales is not famous

@SO3_Clausewitz @BovrilG Pouring out a pornstar martini for a real one xxx

RIP @BovrilG he would have loved that feeling

@thinkdefence @BenWallace70 Ultimately they've cut their cloth to fit and accepted reality in a way I don't think defence leadership has here

@BenWallace70 Italy always seems to do well with matching ambition and resource, they have some capabilities we dont, and still manage to support a strong defence industry.

The MoD has a considerable budget, and whilst I think the piss poor value for money line can be sometimes overdone, it is hard to avoid accusations of waste. With better decision making, the UK armed forces could be double hard. I have a theory that most of our problems can be laid firmly at the feed of an ambition/resources mismatch. Some of those ambitions are defined by politicians, perhaps some by public opinion and industry, but the majority of them are four square with the service chiefs. When your entire career is spent surrounded by the symbology of glories past, every button or piece of mess silver has a magnificent story behind it Every bit of our long history is celebrated in the mess or in public It must be almost impossible to accept the reality of a changing world and our position in it. I look back not only at recent operational history, but every failed major acquisition or change programme, and the one common theme is overreach How do we inject realism, crack that, and we could eliminate many of our problems

@ThatsSoVillage Wicketkeeper had to borrow a set of keeping pads, we only had them in junior size, and then he broke the straps on them about 6 overs in

What’s the most village thing that happened in your game this weekend? 🏏🫣

@TypeForVictory Very strong nuclear family social organisation, tendency for internal migration, weaker extended family ties compared even to other W European cultures

Question - which if any values/traits are genuinely identifiable through British history? I think two stand out over 1500 years: 1) Rule of law & due process [harsh, but not arbitrary] 2) Personal Responsibility [Free will, pull yourself up by your bootstraps] Any others?

@jew_AndAhalfMen That's essentially it, yes

Foundational #Barclaysmen text, some proper technicians in here

@ArchysLife @krystalchantalc Don't visit Northern Ireland in July lmao

@krystalchantalc It's a bloody cacophony.

To be very fair...it's not like British tourists have a stellar reputation in Turkey to start with. All I'm saying is, they can't exactly fall further from grace.

@_billyreid @Ellam9 @_Gaffers_ Was in there for the 2022 championship playoff final, plenty of scenes nobody wants to see (but actually we all do)

@Ellam9 @_Gaffers_ Spoons at Baker Street

In a pub half full of Leeds fans, half full of Southampton fans Chant about Jimmy Saville and then a chant calling Rishi Sunak a pedophile Four policemen have now entered the pub God I’ve missed this

@WiggumCharm Proper old school Night of Shame with plenty of Scenes Nobody Wanted to See (but actually we do) Pure pedigree and heritage

Them penalties in the cup game last year had me in tears. Was the most childish, juvenile thing I’ve ever seen in a stadium. Just two fan bases hating and loving every minute. This fixture needs UNESCO protected status.

Forest/Wolves really is the best fixture on the calendar. The “you’re rattled… no, YOU’RE rattled” derby. Players solely motivated to score just so they can stick their fingers in their ears and shush the opposition. Not one person actually enjoying the game. Proper football.