Colin Ellsworth

Should’ve paid the ref more @jakepaul

@rodrikjuuls Would you like an exotic Fanta with your vape sir?

they done gentrified the smoke shop

@F1L7HYR1CH Umphreys mcgee has entered the conversation

Another day of wondering when king gizz will help guide the jam band and Indie kids to realize their true love for metal

The face you make when the professor says the paper you thought was due next week is due tonight

Come on it really took a Taylor Swift tour for people to wake up about Ticketmaster

@BBR5150 I bet they ain’t even getting royalty on that arrangement

Success is just a competition of who killed less brain cells in highschool

@b0neitis Ban it

@coline413 literally got close to 14 notifications in a row and wanted to throw my phone across the room

Getting Canvas notifications on a Friday night should be %100 illegal

@fuckedupfoods Shit dog

meatdog

But what if toothpaste was called mouth soap

@nytimes Piss farm

Human urine is full of the same nutrients that plants need to flourish. During a worldwide fertilizer shortage, that's come in handy. nyti.ms/3HuMizD

JUST LET ME SEE MY BILL YOU SAD EXCUSE FOR AN INTERNET PROVIDER

@Xfinity is so trash not even their own webpage works

@SUBWAY you owe me a footlong meatball marinara because one of your employees refused to make me a sandwich I had already paid for because their “internet is down”

@inthestubru It’s not real

@BBR5150 Leave me and my high cholesterol alone

@BBR5150 Twitter needs a dislike button for this tweet specifically

How is it that professors can go an entire weekend without answering emails but make their students turn in assignments and work on projects during that same weekend?

@larmenia11 Try the bud light next, it’s literally beer flavored seltzer

How do people say Bud Light is water when this shit exists It’s literally fucking LaCroix