Rekenmachine

I asked GPT to create 20 haikus about the 2024 GenZ protests in the style of Matsuo Bashō

@KijanayaKabras Haupendi watu wa Nyamira?

President Ruto is set to travel to Italy next week. Plans to secure Ksh.1B for upgrading Nyamira County hospital. A president flying overseas to look for money to upgrade a county hospital looks like a serious joke, aisee. Akiangai 1B inapeleka rais mzima Italy ndo ainuwe matibabu ya County hospital, enyewe tuko pabaya kuliko jana!!!!

@SimbaJoseph Thank you Mr. President for putting public funds to good use, for once at least. Si ata wewe unaona it's more fulfilling wakati mali ya umma haiibiwi.

*Shabana FC fans have expressed their heartfelt gratitude to President William Ruto for gifting the club a state-of-the-art team bus* On Sunday, 12th April 2026, Shabana FC officially received the KSh 27 million bus. In addition, the club was allocated KSh 20 million to support match venue hiring and other operational expenses. The day also marked a major milestone for the region, as Gusii Stadium received a KSh 1 billion facelift, upgrading it into a modern 14,000-seater facility. President Ruto presided over the groundbreaking ceremony for the stadium’s renovation. Speaking on behalf of the club, Shabana FC Organizing Secretary Stephen Kiama conveyed appreciation from the entire fraternity. “On behalf of the Shabana family—our players, technical bench, management, and millions of passionate fans—we extend our heartfelt thanks to H.E. William Ruto for gifting us a state-of-the-art bus,” he said. Nairobi Regional Chairman Pius Machana also praised the president’s support, noting that the gesture will greatly enhance the club’s operations. Meanwhile, a fan, Ombui, urged leaders from Kisii and Nyamira counties to step up and support Shabana FC. Kisii traders equally welcomed the president’s contribution, highlighting its broader economic impact. They noted that improved transport will boost team morale and performance, attract more fans to matches, and create business opportunities for local vendors, transport operators, and small enterprises around match venues. According to the traders, the donation reflects the government’s commitment to nurturing grassroots talent and promoting sports as a driver of economic growth and youth empowerment. They emphasized that the benefits will extend beyond the club to positively impact the local economy. The traders also pledged continued support for Shabana FC and called on other leaders and stakeholders to invest in sports development in the region. The day also featured a friendly match between Shabana FC and Gucha Stars FC at Gusii Stadium. Gucha Stars is set to receive KSh 1 million from Kisii County Governor Paul Simba. In addition, Nominated MP Irene Nyakerario Mayaka appealed to the president to support women’s football teams. In response, President Ruto donated KSh 500,000 to Shabana Starlets, while Nyamira-based side Lowland Starlets will also receive KSh 500,000. Shabana FC management was praised for its role in uplifting football in the Gusii region. Club Chairman Jared Nevaton further requested President Ruto to convene a meeting with Kisii and Nyamira counties football stakeholders to address challenges facing the sport and explore sustainable solutions. @Jason_Sagini @beebree0 @Dollar__SM @OleNtutuK @koske_felix @charlruto @AbalaWilliam @MoraaTimes @bomboluly @SethOlale @itskipronoh @Radio47_Kenya @zaxoguda @thekenyatimes @SportPesa @HusseinMohamedg @KarauriR @generali_osumo @OsoroSylvanus @HonJNyakundi @renee_mayaka @EssyOkenyuri #Shabanafc

@RT_com This was during the Obama era when comedy was legal.

Pentagon boss 'urgent call from Netanyahu to fellate donkey' — SNL 'For Israel I'd do it in a second'

@_Sakko This is low IQ

If we don't want Maraga, then wacha tu Ruto aendelee na kazi . Maraga is the only sane man who can bring changes in this country

@SpokespersonGoK What kind of doctor is Mr. Mwaura?

Government Spokesperson Hon. Sen. (Dr.) Isaac Mwaura is giving his weekly press briefing live on YouTube and X Watch live here: youtube.com/live/4GMYBJeds…

@Arkemious No more parties in LA

what’s the best song on THE LIFE OF PABLO?

@Wanjiru_chege08 @amenya_nelson @clichy_malooks It's a top Business School, but it's not Ivy League by any definition.

@marsandstuff @amenya_nelson @clichy_malooks Google HEC paris utapata jibu!

Nikifnaya MBA itanitoa kwa block? Ama it’s a waste of money ?

@ClintonObonyo Mtasiz ni sister. Umeishi ocha sana.

hapa club mambo imechemka... the mp son(black and white) amejaa ngori, that another man wants to take his meal for the night, part two ill post later... watch

@ClintonObonyo Hii inaitwanga kijoho kibetty kyalo

The mzungu sugar mummy found his ben 10 cheating, now she wants back his car, ni mbaya, hadi nyumba anaendea

@ngwata_ Educated? What use is that education if it cannot help them solve their problems.

Politically aligned Kales have been very busy arranging koitos for their kin and infiltrating ‘lower’ social groups. Now we have ourselves an educated but ignorant voting bloc stanning car logos and matatus, elbowing for selfies with their own oppressors’ descendants at 2am.

@OsheaJacksonJr Doing a Kanye biopic or sth?

In school when Kanye’s teacher called him a loser. His response was WHY DONT YOU KILL ME!?! That’s in COLLEGE DROPOUT. What kinda rebuttal is that?! Talk about raising the stakes. Whoever reading this. Go drink some water.

@amenya_nelson @clichy_malooks Kwani ata wewe umebunt? I don't remember you schooling in America

@clichy_malooks Do it in an Ivy League hizo zingine utabunt

@schitcoin Based

I want people to look at these pictures and remember that Justin was PM for 10 years. This guy was a ruthless politician with a vice like grip on the Canadian Liberal leadership and saw off 3 Tory challengers and now he’s at coachella with his pop star gf.

@ArapTilingi Disgusting. None of these people have clean hands.

Nenyo emet.

@Josh001J And to think this guy is teaching kids

Opiyo Wandayi Has tried to evade political chaos that the price of fuel hasn't increased since the Iran war. Time ya Uhuru alikua ashasema Ukraine war was the reason for hiking prices of items😂

Heri ata wa proximity. They’re using your stolen taxes to marry their children off then you parasocial povvos come to defend them and even ogle at how lavish the wedding was? Hahahahaha. Whew.

@MrKipkalya @makaumutua @Oketch_Salah Makau has started exhibiting rent-seeking behaviours, typical of jubilee and UDA acolytes and hangers-on.

Prof. Makau Mutua @makaumutua is the new @Oketch_Salah; a political slay queen who purports to speak for the dead and peddles cheap wares (in this case "Baba's last words") for relevance. Perhaps the professor of law, having noticed the disappearance of fellow idler, Salah, has decided to fill the space, by continuing from where that intellectual saucepan, Salah, left. But first things first. Makau says that when he described Sifuna as a "dead man walking" last week, he received online abuse from Kenyans on social media, using ungrammatical English. Prof Makau doesn't need to look too far for bad grammar. In the corridors of State House, where he peddles narratives for a living, the inherent incompetence there simply means that if he opens his ears widely enough, he will pick up the dominant Taptengelei and Chebarbar variant of English, where grammar is alien. But he enthusiastically praises the wisdom of that variant daily, because it butters his bread, while disparaging Kenyans on social media for the same. Now to some context. Anyone who refers to a leader whose life has been publicly said to be in danger as "dead man walking", even metaphorically, is plain stupid. There is no midpoint on that. It shows a lack of of presence and alarming foolishness for a whole law professor. Possibly, Makau thinks that the ivory tower he purports to occupy insulates him from simple Kenyan political sentiment and plain meaning of basic words. If anything, the simple rule of writing is that if the reader might make a different interpretation, the writer should seek alternative expressions. And even before you address the issues at hand, the fact that Makau states categorically that Sifuna "read the MOU at KICC before he signed it" is one of your clear signs that the narrative has refused to grow a leg, and the whole story is rubbish. I wonder if he has clips of Sifuna signing that MOU. Be that as it may, let us for once look at the people who "heard" Baba saying that he would remove his SG. It is a catalogue of the gossip types; Makau, Salah and a collection of street muchene types. Makau goes further to add that Baba intended to use the upcoming NDC to remove Sifuna. Does anyone really believe that if Raila wanted you out of his beloved party, that he would need to call the NDC to do it? Raila Odinga owned the party and everyone served at his pleasure. Even if Raila had had such plans, would it be so pedestrian that a mere Makau, who spent more time oscillating between Kitui Villa Hotel and stints in New York, would become privy to them? Why was this Sifuna removal plan heard only by party sangwenyas and not Raila's closest people? Why didn't his spouse of 50 years, Mama Ida, hear it? Why didn't Baba's designated caretaker, Prof @AnyangNyongo, hear it? Even in the homestead, you must be careful when the deceased man's wishes are broadcast only by the shamba boys. You can clearly see from this article that Prof Makau has been detailed to try and undo the damage done to his employers when Raila's real confidant, lawyer @PaulMMwangi recently stated categorically that the Sifuna faction had all along been Raila's exit strategy from a bad deal. But rather than fashion out a believable narrative, Makau, because he now works for the country's lies machine, has chosen to lie. The more he writes these shallow stories, the more foolish he sounds. 1/2

@P_A_R_PAT @vikingnelsson @industrypolitic Yes and No. He writes some of his music and is also known to be a big collaborator.

@vikingnelsson @industrypolitic You think Ye writes his own music?

Drake is 🐐! Hate Ye or love him — but when it comes to the art of rap, he already knows who the target is: Drake. Nobody else. Everyone else is just trying to catch up. Just listen to what Kanye says — leave the politics, the sickness, the rants, and all that extra noise out of it. We all have opinions and condemnations — this is about the music. And when it comes to respect? It always comes back to Drake — it always has. Because, at the end of the day, everybody measures themselves against him — if they even can 🤷🏽‍♀️. That’s what happens when you’re at the top. Ye’s respect for Drake is top-level — Drake is the benchmark. It's F Camel, Ye knows it because he's one of the best; Drake is the GOAT — the ultimate comparison.

@TheNairobiTimez He's the only one making promises mind you.

President William Ruto: We are ending the era of deceptive politics where leaders make promises they neither plan nor intend to keep.

@Apropos_KE You're all over the place. But you have the right idea.