John

@Grant_Colgate What are you gonna spill? Red wine or a simple grass drain?

@ambergambler_ I’ve responded to opening all of my texts to my boys with this greeting. I’m hoping it annoys them as much as it does me.

Teenage boys say “Yo” a lot, don’t they

@Ginger_Tucci @TSB For bonus points you can have extra special fun if you decide to change your phone.

Banking with @TSB is great if you; Never want to access your own money Never want the app to work Never want to see your transactions Don’t value online banking or local branches 0/10 would not recommend.

@Grant_Colgate Single socket? Old school.

@paulmasonnews Oh come on. The lack of judgement is plain for all to see. He wanted Mandleson and got him and now he’s having to deal with the consequences he’s doing everything he can to shift the blame and say I would have done it if I’d have known…..everyone knew.

The last media attempt to hound Starmer from office backfired and so will this one. People can see Mandelson was dodgy and the victims are owed a full inquiry. They can also see off-the-scale bias and click-farming by self-aggrandising lobby journalists paid more than the PM

Jim’s enjoying the sun on his face. He’s been sat there for 10 mins. I’m just looking forward to not having to clean him every time we go for a walk.

@Hayes1Jonny @TBrit90 My son joined (18) and within 18 months is on £36k due to the trade he’s in. Great wage and opportunities for a young lad. He’s on a degree apprenticeship with a parhway to an MSc.

@TBrit90 Current rates of pay for Soldiers just starting out in these ranks are: Recruits & Privates: £26,334 a year Lance Corporal: £34,083 a year Corporal: £39,565 a year Sergeant: £44,423 a year 18 year old in basic training on £26,334 potentially with zero quals doesn’t sound bad.

This for the armed forces was a good move, because many people can't afford the pay cut they take during training, therefore pushing off many potential recruits.

@Footinit @HarryWolst A bird in the hand and all that? Surely better to have a nice lump sum upfront?

@HarryWolst There’s no guarantee anyone can keep up the rent. Surely 20k upfront is an indication that I can.

Lettings agents telling me that offering a year’s rent of almost £20k upfront and excellent references ‘would not be considered by landlords.’ Better to drag the rent out of tenants every month? You mugs. The rules don’t even change until May.

@Grant_Colgate Absolutely. He’s not a maniac!

@Footinit Same. My pub crawl home was ruined by a ‘Mon-wed closed’ fuck up. Surely bank Holiday weekends should be different?

The kids and I are having to go to another village’s pub this evening because, like on NYE, our village’s one and only remaining pub adopted the business model of closing on the days people might want to go out. Lazy gits.

Discipline maintained!

Nice end to lovely Easter walk. Just got to stay disciplined to make sure I can can cook the lamb!

@Grant_Colgate I hope that’s the 1st

@Footinit Really? You probably make me laugh at least once a day which is more than the vast majority of people I interact with during the day!

Found out yesterday that friends think my being on Twitter is slightly pathetic and laughable. Fuck those guys. I don’t need them anymore.

Nothing quite as tiring as being a Labrador and watching someone work all day.

@sarah_church 100%. Something extremely satisfying about when your lopper cuts through a really thick branch. Shit cleaning it all up though.

@obv_john Honestly, I want to become a garden destroyer. Lopping off branches left right and centre. Haaaaa!

Yesterday I basically destroyed my garden in the name of ‘tidying up’. I have about 3 shrubs and managed to fill the garden bin and still have this left over… Currently itching to get the lopper back out and attack some more foliage (there’s not much left). Am I a psycho?

@win_confidante A glass half full outlook!

@obv_john At least I know now and not in 3 months!

Offer withdrawn. What was the point!? I’m already over this moving malarkey!

@TBrit90 Or we stop treating it like a rotation and permanently base units in these countries.

1,000 in Estonia is hard for the Army already with other commitments. 5,000 on top of for Ukraine would be brutal.