Not_Really_Slartybartfarst

Can you believe the BBC actually read this text out on air 🙈

Happy Easter 🥚 😂

@ColeFusionHQ I worked with a lad in IT Engineering called Min. He was always breaking stuff so he inherited the nickname Mincident (thus named after the fault logging system auto raises incidents when it spotted something wrong from the logs) 😂

British nicknames are an unregulated industry. a 5'6 tradesman called Anthony is professionally known as Shetland Tony. a man who lost an eye is called Keth. a quiet man wore a yellow jumper once and became Mumblebee. what's the best nickname you've ever heard

@concise_wisdom @Artemisfornow The fact that this simpering idiot (amongst others) was fawning over a child repeating a pre written narrative says it all about the quality of our elected leaders 🤦‍♂️😡 Baffles me how the general public are so easily swayed 🤷

@Artemisfornow Somewhere Greta is smirking…

Fabulous news! … Britain’s last remaining refineries are closing because it’s cheaper to refine abroad where they don’t pay Mad Ed’s carbon taxes. See? Lower emissions here, less tax revenue here, higher prices here! Perfect strategy 🤡

Type the year you turned 18 into the GIF bar and post the best GIF you see

@Roadman_Podcast I left my muddy kit in a bucket to soak in the garage and then got injured so when I found it 2 weeks later the smell was truly horrendous 😂 Much worse than cig smoke 🚬 👃

He’s obviously never left his wet cycling kit from Saturdays race in the gear bag till Wednesday 🤮

@100Climbs @SheffCouncil I’ve just ordered 30mm tyres for best bike for this summer. 25/28mm no longer cover it due to state of roads 🤦‍♂️

The roads of @SheffCouncil are a fair reflection on the state of the world right now. Heading for total system collapse.

@TheGameVerse Indeed. There was also a similar hard task to gain your pro racing licence on Gran Turismo if I remember rightly. Drove me mad 🙃

If you beat this mission as a kid, respect 🫡

@HowardWorf @GriftReport @TheGriftReport £5000 is cheap middle of the road territory 😬

@GriftReport @TheGriftReport £5000 for a push bike? Cripes!

A coffee shop owner said he felt 'violated' after a customer's bike was stolen at knifepoint in broad daylight and police arrived only to order coffee. Steve Bassi, 71, said the theft was 'beyond the pale' and claimed Met Police took more than an hour to arrive afterwards, though other uniformed officers came to order drinks in the meantime. Onar Cranny, 26, was drinking coffee outside Bartons coffee shop in Bermondsey on Friday, February 21 when two men dressed in black pulled up on a motorbike and grabbed her bicycle. When her friend Patrick Archer moved to block them from stealing the bike, they pulled out a knife and he backed away holding his hands in the air. One of the men then slowly slung the bike over his shoulder, before the pair drove away. Ms Cranny, originally from Delaware in the US, had only owned the Trek Madone bike, which can cost £5,000, for around a week. Just another daily occurrence in Sadiq Khans lawless London!

What a bunch of cunts.

@andrewlawrence I’d rather stay and be bombed than abandon our boy 🐶 Cuntz indeed 😡

@CarringtonDE @100Climbs Unfortunately it passes through some unsavoury areas where the locals think it’s fun to remove the signage. It happened on the first over addition and every year since 🤦‍♂️ Fortunately gpx mapping has improved greatly since its inception 👍

@100Climbs I got lost on the Ronde Van Calderdale and ended up doing part of it backwards, and I think that was supposed to be signed...

I might as well be in continental Europe!

@Parkerbats Probably all scripted via ChatGP 🤦‍♂️

Fucking hell #pmq Starmer. Same pre-scripted drivel every week. What a bloody waste of time.

@asd1234123418 @Bikery1966 @AManOnTheMove There’s clearly a barrier over said cycle path in the picture though so believe your own eyes….

@Bikery1966 @AManOnTheMove of course, we should simply believe you.

The owner/driver of this private hire Toyota Corolla will be receiving a Notice of Intended Prosecution for close passing 2 cyclist. This is driving without consideration for another road user.

I think you’re holding back @andrewlawrence. You should say what you really mean 😂 You’d like to think this would be some kind of wake up call but you’d have thought wrong 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

@_Farmergeddon The Rock (Dwayne Johnson) was rumoured to by eying up a run for president at one point. We came so close 😂

@_Farmergeddon Yep. You could type a post on here saying 2+2=4 and some would ask Grok if it was true 🤦‍♂️

No need for a student library anymore, no learning is required when you just use AI to write your essays. Books will be redundant and destroyed. We’ll rely on politically manipulated ‘sources’ - no need to think for yourselves Oh what a happy future we can look forward to 😱

😂 What the…..

Today marks the end of the survivor participation for our rape gang inquiry hearings. I simply have no words that describe the bravery and courage of these women who have come forward. No words. What they have been through is indescribable. It has been a life-changing experience for me. I never thought such evil was possible. Never. Not here, in Britain. In our towns, in our communities. It is pure evil. These men are so utterly depraved. If it were up to me, thousands of them would receive the death penalty. To do what they did, on such an industrial scale, to innocent young girls - many of whom were already in such an incredibly vulnerable place? There is no redemption possible. The world is a better place without them in it. I started this inquiry because so many others failed. Speaking honestly, I did not understand how deep this evil is rooted in our society. Police, politicians, council officials, the NHS, social workers, children’s homes - it is everywhere. IS everywhere. Not was. IS. Meeting these women, and men, listening to how severely they were failed by those tasked to protect them? My views have changed forever. I knew it was bad. I never knew how bad it was. Every single one who has come forward is a hero in my view. The courage and grace in how they have conducted themselves is unlike anything I have seen in my life. All because they don’t want others to suffer the same fate. That is an extraordinary sacrifice. They could have just moved on with their lives. Tried to forget. But no, they chose to do this. I am in awe of all of them. Our hearings will finish tomorrow, following the contribution of three more expert witnesses. Then the next stage begins. We will produce a report, and then we will seek to put people in prison. There are FAR more testimonies and evidence to release - this will keep coming and coming and coming. Even with a media blackout, we have reached tens of millions. We have made real progress. And following such immense demand, we will reopen the portal so that more women can tell their stories. This is just the beginning. Politicians from all parties have failed these girls, again and again and again. I do not intend to join that list. To everyone who donated, thank you. To our team, thank you. And especially to the survivors, thank you. I believe that together we can start to make Britain understand what is happening, and then finally do something about it.

@No2ofTheBLB @SheffCouncil @SheffieldStar @BBCSheffield Funny but not funny 😂 Four of us came down on our group ride on the Push Irons two weeks ago coming through Allerton Bywater near Castleford after hitting a pothole just like this. It was hidden by standing water 🤦‍♂️ It’s a national disgrace along with many other things 😕

BloodyLoveLeh Julia Showing T Hunts @SheffCouncil Fishing Lanes 😉👌 #PotholesUk #Sheffield @SheffieldStar @BBCSheffield