Steve

@henrymorganI @fesshole Quite a lot of couples run three accounts.

@fesshole I don't understand being married with separate bank accounts 🤷‍♂️

My wife doesn't earn as much money as me and feels guilty. Its not an issue in the slightest and she wants to contribute and she often offers to pay for a takeaway and says its on her, but the account is linked to my card and I pay each time. Not gonna tell her.

@BrunoTaltalian @fesshole I thought it was empress! Kilimanjaro is twice as high as Olympus, so now I'm even more confused

@fesshole I only just found out that in “Africa” it’s “like Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti”. I always thought it was “rises like an Empress”.

I'm 48 years old and have only just discovered that on the song 'Murder on the dance floor' she sings 'you better not kill the groove' not groom, thought it was about a just married couple having a barny.

@fesshole Doesn't she notice the cash isn't leaving her account?

@vince_white @fesshole But can count towards mortgage affordability.

It’s just sneaky way they can make you think your earning the same as if whole package was salary, but car allowance isn’t part of your base pay, doesn’t compound in annual pay increases, isn’t take into account in percentage salary bonus calculations, or pension contributions. You still pay tax on it all though. Company is the one laughing, and saving a fortune

WFH and get £600 car allowance. Sold the car because I wasn't using it and pocketed the money for the last year. No one has checked & luckily no meetings have required travel. Will get busted eventually.

@fesshole That's not how it works. If your firm wants to pay you a car allowance that's up to them. If you then get to meetings by train/bus/taxi/wife/friend, that's your business.

@piersmorgan Should probably win one then. Last time Arsenal won a trophy there weren't any fans.

Memo to all Arsenal haters: We’re a big trophy club.

@cdbrewe @fesshole It's anonymous so doesn't really matter

@fesshole Why would you share this you whore? If he’s a great husband than you wouldn’t share any of this

Before dating my husband, I had one night stands with two of his friends. None of us find it awkward and my husband loves to brag about how he was the best shag, mainly because that's the story I tell. Truthfully though, he was the worst of the three, but by far the best husband.

@LORDLJS @fesshole If they're all still friends, maybe the other two are cocks?

@fesshole How would you know he's the best Husband if you haven't been married to them? Conclusion from incomplete data set.

@methusela80 @NoContextBrits Not really the point.

@NoContextBrits This list is one of the worst song lists I’ve ever seen.

What song should be added to this playlist?

@spencermorgan93 Should have played him then.

People talking about ‘momentum’ and ‘confidence’ have lost their minds 😂😂 We played an XI that the gunnersaurus could have walked into ffs Get a grip

@piersmorgan How's that going for you?

The Quintuple’s ON! Premier League ✅ Champions League ✅ FA Cup ✅ Carabao Cup ✅ Spurs relegated ✅

@markfrancisio @s8mb If you don't play it, it's unlikely you'll win.

@s8mb This obviously isn't for everyone, but try to get a dedicated room as a home office. If you have the money, and a garden, the ultimate is a home office garden room. If I win the lottery (I don't play), I'll build one with a little kitchen and bathroom

I’m not a “work from home” guy by any means. But I’ve done it a bit lately and it’s certainly nice to see my family during the day. I can see why it’s so popular. But, and it’s a big but, my productivity is unquestionably lower. There’s just no substitute for the office.

@FBAwayDays Spurs No one Billingham Synthonia when alive Middlesbrough

I want to know… 1. Who do you support? 2. Who does your Dad support? 3. Who does your Grandad support? 4. What is the nearest football ground to your house?

@PD31 @fesshole Assuming they know what an odometer is, why would they think they were the first? Although at least the driving you describe is feasible, unlike the fess.

@fesshole We deliver cars to the end user....the number of people who comment that they wanted to be the 'first' person to drive it always makes me chuckle. Me and about 10 others mate...at the factory, docks, on/off the ship, transporter drivers, techs and valeters at the dealer etc....🤣

I work on the dispatch yard for one of the largest car manufacturers in the world. Think that 'brand new' car you're buying hasn't been wheelspun, drifted round corners & almost been crashed? Think again.

@fesshole I've never noticed an unmarked car unless they have the lights on. Which I think is the point of an unmarked car.

My car is very similar to one used by unmarked police. It's a BMW estate with tinted rear windows. Sometimes I like to drive at 65mph and watch cars slam their brakes on as they approach, while I pretend to be undercover motorway patrol.

@fesshole Not a tea drinker, but I haven't seen a teapot in common usage for a while.

My wife and I cannot agree on whether to wash the teapot or not. I say no, the patina gives it the flavour, just rinsing is sufficient. Wife wants to scrub it until it's white. Now a cold war has descended and I don't know how it'll end.

@sebimrie @__Gothmog @TweeterCalcio @ToBadlyGo @fesshole Yes let's ignore Walker joining Sheff United at 7.

@stevec405 @__Gothmog @TweeterCalcio @ToBadlyGo @fesshole Alexander Arnold and James were destined to go pro since reception year.

I was very good at football as a kid but hated the game and the people playing it, so never pursued it. Just learned a friend who I was easily better than is earning £35,000 per month. I do wonder if I was a little hasty back then. My lower tier admin job doesn't quite pay that.

@sebimrie @__Gothmog @TweeterCalcio @ToBadlyGo @fesshole Well no, it's probably bollocks. But it's no more Walker than the other two.

@stevec405 @__Gothmog @TweeterCalcio @ToBadlyGo @fesshole Pretty much every fullback has that story. All I'm saying is that "someone's mate" wasn't better than Reece James and then completely fell off the football radar.

@sebimrie @__Gothmog @TweeterCalcio @ToBadlyGo @fesshole 'He played as a striker idolizing Didier Drogba in his early teens, but was moved to the midfield, and later to a right-back position where he struggled at first'

@stevec405 @__Gothmog @TweeterCalcio @ToBadlyGo @fesshole No they have the skill set that would have shone as a kid. Walker was pure athleticism and football knowledge, which may not come until later.

@__Gothmog @TweeterCalcio @ToBadlyGo @fesshole Trent or James also possibilities

@TweeterCalcio @ToBadlyGo @fesshole Kyle Walker