CSH

Now open to the public! Come tour the @CSHLaboratory Lobster Pits. We feed them failing graduate students and other troublemakers every day at 11:30 AM. Come witness this unique and educational event! Please call in advance to book tours for large school groups.

DEAR LEADER LIVES!!!

FREE LOBSTERS 4-EVAH!!

LONG LIVE DEAR LEADER!!!

@dgonzales1990 As part of our yearly “DNA Games” at @CSHLaboratory, we have gladiator fights where junior faculty fight with micropipettes and petri dishes. Winner gets tenure, loser gets thrown to the lobsters. It’s a jolly ol’ time for all.

@mike_feigin @SarahMackAttack Here at @CSHLaboratory beards are a requirement for tenure.

@elneurozorro @bita137 @doc_becca What’s exciting is that he’ll also be introducing “Hubes” the new line of compressed beard hair supplements, from the man himself, that can help optimize your own keratin-dopaminergic-testosterone axis!

@elneurozorro @bita137 @doc_becca It’s the beard. Once Huberman grew it out the stimulated hair follicles activated the keratin-dopaminergic-testosterone axis, which through the process of neuroplasticity rewired his brain into who he is now. He’s having a special 6.5 hour episode on “Samson Syndrome” next month!

@Goodflies @CSHLflycourse We serve graduate students in the cafeteria.

With @droonophilosophy on board as director you are in good hands. The West Point Academy for Drosophila Neurobiology students. Go for it! @CSHLflycourse and don’t forget the delicious cafeteria food @CSHLaboratory serves you!

Always sad to see a great scientist fall. After he resolves this nothingburger, he’ll always be welcome at @CSHLaboratory

New at the gift shop! Table salt made from grad student tears. Don't miss this opportunity to taste the @CSHLaboratory legacy.

We are super excited to congratuale our Dear Leader at @CSHLaboratory for being named NAS member for the 34th time! We will be erecting a commemorative statue of Dear Leader’s #NASmember to celebrate!

@KyleCottrell @ClementYChow We’ve found over the years that the blunt force of the p1000 seems to outcompete the others. It takes someone very skilled in pipette-jitsu to effectively wield the delicate yet lethal p2.5.

@CSHLaboratory @ClementYChow Do they get to choose the pipettes? If so, you gotta go with the Eppendorf p2.5, light and very pointy.

If you currently have 4 postdocs in the lab and everyone’s salary is suddenly raised by 10k, you likely have to let at least one go. Which one do you choose? Yes, salaries need to go up. This isn’t a way of saying salaries shouldn’t be higher. Delete your angry reply.

@ClementYChow Here at @CSHLaboratory we have them fight in the courtyard using only a micropipetter and a petri dish. First to go down gets kicked out.

@ClementYChow As a bonus, if one postdoc manages to defeat all the other ones, they become the new PI, and the old PI gets fed to the lobsters.

I mean, I’d sell my twitter handle for $50K…

@vferrera No time for praises, or lovey-dovey, Your PI won’t give you that now.

@vferrera This ain’t no party, no college lab course. This ain’t no fooling around.

You may find yourself gunning in a shotgun lab, you may find yourself in a university in another part of the world...