Dr J

@BowTiedHRT I’m sorry that happened to you. If it’s not too late, I would call the hospital and ask to speak to the patient care representative. Tell them this story. Chances are, this doctor has done the same thing to others. There are processes in hospitals for doctors to be remediated.

Do I hate Doctors? No. Do I have a reason to despise a few? Yes I do. My oldest son was born in 2010, and right from the start he had what looked like classic failure-to-thrive symptoms. As the months went on, he wasn't growing and his constipation became extreme, and we ended up having to give him regular laxatives just to get things moving at all. We made trip after trip to Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta and Scottish Rite, trying to get some real answers. Every single time, the doctors told us the same thing: he was just being retentive. They said some kids are prone to holding their bowel movements on purpose until everything gets impacted. But I knew my son better than anyone. I knew he wasn’t doing that on purpose. Something was genuinely wrong, and it was hurting him. I’m the kind of person who dives deep when something matters, so I started living in the medical literature. By the time he was 18 months old, I’d read enough to be convinced he had Hirschsprung’s disease. It’s a congenital condition where the distal part of the colon is missing the ganglion cells that allow the bowel to relax and push stool through properly. It’s not extremely common, but it’s far from unheard of (about 1 in 5,000 births) and the symptoms lined up perfectly: delayed meconium passage early on, severe chronic constipation, failure to thrive, abdominal distension, the whole litany of symptoms. I asked for a rectal biopsy, which is the definitive way to confirm it. It’s a suction biopsy, relatively quick and low-risk, even in young kids and is often done bedside or with light sedation, with very low complication rates. They refused and said it was too invasive. Meanwhile, they were manually disimpacting him under sedation anyway, so the idea that a biopsy was somehow crossing some big line never made sense to me. We ended up in the emergency room eleven times because the constipation would get so bad he’d need urgent help. Eleven times we were told it was just him holding his stool voluntarily. The risk of colonic perforation was becoming very real as things dragged on. I’m a lawyer by training, and I’ve spent years qualifying and disqualifying expert witnesses in pharmaceutical and medical malpractice cases. I know how to get up to speed on technical subjects fast when I have to. I wasn’t pretending to be a doctor or trying to throw my weight around, I was just explaining that I could research and understand complex material when the stakes were this high. My one patient was my son, and every bit of my energy went into figuring out what was wrong with him and getting him fixed. We hit brick wall after brick wall. I’d heard stories about doctors missing diagnoses, families insisting they were right all along, and then the doctor getting defensive or cold when proven wrong. I always thought those stories were exaggerated. Until they weren’t. When he was five, we were back at Children’s Hospital of Atlanta, and the pediatrician attending him told me again it wasn’t Hirschsprung’s and that I needed to prepare myself for something much worse. Still no biopsy. The very next ER visit, that same physician finally agreed to do it. The biopsy came back positive for classic Hirschsprung’s disease: aganglionic segment in the distal colon, no ganglion cells, no proper relaxation or peristalsis, leading to functional obstruction, chronic impaction, and megacolon building up behind it. They scheduled surgery: a pull-through procedure to remove the non-functional distal portion of the colon. Since then, he’s had zero problems. No issues at all. When it’s caught and treated, most kids do great long-term. Hirschsprung’s is precisely that: the absence of those enteric nerve cells in the distal bowel means the affected segment stays contracted, stool can’t pass normally, water gets over-absorbed, everything hardens, and the child ends up in chronic misery with risk of serious complications if ignored. A lot of the disappointment I feel toward parts of the medical community, and a lot of what I write about here, comes straight from this experience. Being dismissed as a layman, told to let the experts handle it while my child suffered for years? That sticks with you. I wasn’t trying to play doctor. I was a parent who had spent countless hours researching because no one else seemed willing to consider what I was saying. I’ll never forgive the team at CHOA for repeatedly ignoring my request for what is a straightforward, low-risk test and forcing us to watch him go through that pain and agony for the better part of five years when an earlier diagnosis and surgery could have spared him all of it. The final insult: once the biopsy confirmed Hirschsprung’s, that same physician who had argued with me for years refused to even speak to me afterward. Completely ghosted me. Fuck that guy. It was exactly the kind of petty, arrogant behavior I’d heard about from other families and never fully believed until I lived it. There is a real God complex in too much of medicine, and it needs to stop. Patients and their families aren’t coming in blind or stupid. When someone walks into an office with questions from their own reading or even from AI tools, I get why that’s frustrating for doctors, but taking a couple of minutes to actually listen could change outcomes without derailing anyone’s schedule. I don’t despise doctors as a group. But I do hate when they act like they know everything and can’t be questioned, even when the evidence is right in front of them. We all know medicine isn’t perfect, and pretending otherwise just breeds resentment. Stay relentless when it comes to your people. Trust the system, but verify hard, especially when it’s you or a loved one.

@thecindynoir Honestly? The sex can be super hot. And the secrecy makes the whole thing feel extra exciting and thrilling. Eventually, you get tired of hoop jumping and restrictions. Most of us queers learned these lessons the hard way. I hope his heart isn’t bruised too badly.

Queer men I need your advice: I have a young queer boy I’ve taken under my wing. He’s currently talking to a boy who is DL, I’ve been telling him that he is worth someone who is proud of who they are enough to stand with him in the light, not hide him in the dark. Any advice??

@ronsterd89 Make green bean casserole Also, frozen veggies are almost as cheap and the taste and texture >>>>>> canned

What can I put in canned green beans to improve their flavor? I hate them, but we're on a budget and have plenty of them.

@_sorrengailll I’m one of the gworls, not the girls. But I dial up the gay so she knows it’s a platonic compliment and tell women they have great hair or I love their shoes all the time.

Hey girls....be honest..... Do you ever compliment random girls just to make their day?

@Hearts0faKing Chocolate don’t chip.

Me buying alcohol… Cashier: can I see you ID Me: I thought yall don’t card 40+ Cashier: you’re not 40 Me: Hands her my ID Cashier: I’m sorry, you look great. I thought you were 30 Me:

@Hearts0faKing Dibs on middle spoon!

In my California King Bed 🤗

I know this is a niche complaint, but one of the things I hate about AI is that if I’m reading a scifi/fantasy novel published in the last 3 years, I wonder if AI wrote it.

@SGTWipper1Each Airplane noise.

I'm officially off all medication. I finally kicked Trazadone as of 5 days ago. (Yes, I weaned off very slowly) I don't sleep well again, though. So, I need some ideas how to help my nighttime healing. No alcohol. What helps you sleep?

@DatMichCray @TurexBaldwin Exactly! I tried to book a flight from Minneapolis to NYC a month out and @Delta wanted to charge me over a grand to fly between two of their hubs! I stayed home

It’s time to have a dialogue about the cost of domestic trips dawg. There’s no reason why a weekend trip to NOLA is costing me over a grand, months out

@LRNROSE Get something for the mom that makes her life easier- gift e-certificate to Poplin (laundry service), Uber Eats or the like.

going a half bday basically. baby is 6months. mom said not to bring gifts but i want to bring SOMETHING. any ideas yall?

@KeruboSk Yes. “Text me the location. I’m on my way.” And I’m bringing a shovel and large trash bags. Because there’s a non-zero chance I’ll need a weapon or to help them bury a body.

Be honest for a second: If your sibling called you at 3am and said “don’t ask questions, just come” Are you actually showing up?

@Hearts0faKing I come from a very large family. The youngest three of my brothers are all 1-2” taller than me. And I’m 6’! (Actually at-the-doctor’s-office-in-my- socks 6’. Not Grindr 6’)

Im the oldest of my moms children and I’m the shortest. 🤔 Any other oldest got siblings taller than them?

@MurrayHillGuy1 If he can work fully remote, trying Chicago for a six month trial is pretty low risk.

My friend has a tough decision to make… His girl just got a huge job opportunity in Chicago. They both live in NYC right now. She basically said she won’t do long distance, so unless he moves (he works fully remote) they’re done. What should he do?

@razor0133wife Planta Queen has an amazing brunch!

I have to go to Chicago in April to present my proposal for my DNP project... I've never been to visit. I need vegan or plant based food place suggestions and likely I'll be going alone so I'm going to probably be boring. :(

@nickimoraa Pay someone else to do it.

Can somebody with ADHD who keeps their home clean, please explain to me: how.

@bockius @Delta Their president told investors that there going to use AI for “individualized pricing”. After a backlash (including questions from senators), they are now claiming it’s just dynamic pricing. Not surveillance pricing.

@Exploratorylap @Delta Seems like I missed a headline. What’s going on with AI snooping?

Southwest Airlines turned millions of loyal customers into hostages. And they're celebrating it. I'm one of them. 20+ years. Two credit cards. Companion pass. Bought gift cards. Recruited everyone I knew. Then they killed open seating. Killed bags fly free. Gutted everything that made them @SouthwestAir. Will I keep flying them? Yes. But not out of loyalty. Out of lock-in. My status still protects me. My bags are still free. I can pick my seat. Companion pass works. Strip those away? I'm gone tomorrow. Cheapest and fastest. Done. Loyalty: I choose you. Lock-in: I'm stuck with you. They look the same on a balance sheet. Completely different animals. This pattern is everywhere. Adobe made cancellation so painful the FTC sued them. HP put DRM chips in ink cartridges. Insurance companies charge loyal customers 40% more - the UK literally banned the practice. Netflix said "love is sharing a password" in 2017 then cracked down on it in 2023. The inflection point: when the conversation shifts from "how do we earn this?" to "how do we keep them from leaving?" That's where loyalty dies and lock-in begins. Southwest says it'll add $1.5B in revenue. Wall Street cheers. What's the cost of turning mavens into hostages? What's a brand you were loyal to that you're now just locked into?

@jzux Just won a restraining order against mine last wednesday, three days before Valentine’s Day.

february 15 should be ex-valentines day. everyone tell me about your favorite ex

@DJCroft_ If you’re gonna cosplay Lara Croft, I’m gonna need you to show more cleavage.

I can't be a male version of a female character? 🤡 goodbye 👋🏾 Cosplay is art and creativity and art is subjective and it doesn’t tie to a gender or sex! Be You 🌈 . . #cosplay #genderbend #laracroft #beyou #art #artist #tombraider #tombraider30

@polyeaster Part of the reason why I have the Delta AmEx is so I can select my seats when I book them.

Why isn't it illegal for airlines to assign young children seats away from their parent's row?