Nick P

@Brooke_Smedley Face same colour as your hoodie 😆 #embarrassing

“FA cup semi final this weekend mate, we’re wearing our special yellow shirt to celebrate the fact we’ve won nothing in 50 odd years. Everyone’s wearing yellow, you defo got the yellow shirt right….” #pompey

@footballontnt Leo is just pure class love the man

"Many spells in the game went the way we wanted." Southampton’s Leo Scienza on a controlled performance ⚽ 📺 Watch live on TNT Sports and HBO Max

@sascampaigns @Channel4 Heads should be rolling 😡

This is the definition of a MUST see. At 9pm on @Channel4, for the next 3 days, the human cost of our profit-crazed water industry will be brutally exposed. You will be shocked, heartbroken & outraged by the inhumanity & injustice of this #DirtyBusiness theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2…

@Golfingbrock Does my nut. Been stuck behind 4-balls playing like it’s Sunday at the Ryder cup on the greens. You’re shit/hurry the fuck up

Decided to play municipal golf this morning instead of my usual Saturday game, and we were the 2nd group to tee off. Here is an open letter to the group in front of us: It takes a special kind of talent to tee off first, in carts, on an empty course, and still drag the entire day into a four-hour-and-twenty-minute crawl. Truly—remarkable work. Somewhere, a sloth is tipping its cap. But the part that really deserves recognition? You didn’t even bother to show up to the tee on time. We were standing there—bags down, ready to go, civilized members of society—while you rolled up late like you were arriving for brunch instead of the first tee time of the day. And then, instead of, I don’t know… teeing off, you launched into a full pre-round performance art piece: pulling out your orange whip, stretching bands, and a whole collection of training aids like you were filming a commercial for how not to start a round. A full mobile warm-up routine. On the tee. At 7 a.m. And the payoff for your meticulous prep? The slowest. Round. Meadowbrook. Has. Seen. In. Years. You were in carts, with no one ahead of you, and still managed a pace so slow that groups three holes back were discussing the meaning of life on tee boxes. You didn’t set the pace—you clogged the arteries of the entire property. So from all of us who spent the morning waiting, staring, aging, and wondering how the first group became the problem: Please, do better.

@JustinRose99 @RyderCupEurope National treasure!

What a week…. What a night with @RyderCupEurope 💙💛🍾🍾🍾

@SalfordMe2023 She’s the housing minister you plonk

Ant Middleton goes bust owing £1 million in tax & vat. Instead of paying his tax bill Mr & Mrs Middleton issued themselves £3 million directors loans which they 'settled' by paying the administrator £300k. Angela Rayner paid £40k less stamp duty than she was meant to, she's now paid in full, and provided documents showing how it happened. An accidental underpayment versus almost £4 million of self enrichment. The hypocritical right in all their wonderful glory. gov.uk/government/new…

@fesshole Coupla beers

A little bit of alcohol makes me a better parent. Sober? Can't deal with their bullshit. Two drinks in? Hell yeah my dudes, that unreasonableness is funny AF. Let's riff on that!

It’s days like this you dream of as a fan 🥳 #saintsfc

@SenseiCarl_ Chris Marsden CM

A full Premier League team of players whose initials matched their position. Are there any more?

@fesshole Probably too young to appreciate it sadly. Had a friend from primary school who could rap the whole of Diesel Power by the Prodigy and not a day goes by when I don’t think about it.

Thought I was alone in the office one night so naturally decided to rap the whole of Turn the Page by The Streets at full volume. Only on leaving for the day did I realise a new intern was sat hidden behind a pillar and heard everything. Haven't even looked at each other since

@P0CKETBI Get her gone.

@s__nyy Just like Kas, he will get banished

Not enough people talking about Alexander bringing the whimsy and the sense to the round table I love him #TheTraitorsUK

@solentsport @AdamBlackmore One of the most underrated Saints players ever. What a CM

"There's never a bad time to have a cup run push as hard as you can and it'll breed confidence in the league" Former #SaintsFC midfielder Jack Cork reflects on his time at Southampton and previews this weekends FA cup tie 😇 He spoke to @AdamBlackmore ⬇ bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0k…

@HugoScheckter Delete club.

Went to the St Mary’s for first time in a while. My mum, who knows nothing about football, predicted the 0-5 loss then got booed when collecting her prize from Adam Armstrong in the Saints hospitality 😂

@AlexComber_ Milligan Cleaves Everett

If you could sign any three players in January, who would it be? #SaintsFC

@RachelListening The bill states you litterally have to administer the drugs yourself. So think you’ll be fine!

I'm just a disabled UK citizen, standing in front of a Labour government, asking them not to deem my life not worth living #assisteddyingbill

As a #SaintsFC fan of 30 years I fully support the assisted dying bill. But no seriously - please MPs do the right thing 🙏 #AssistedDyingBill

@fesshole Sounds like a fun place to work

I'm a partner at an international accounting firm. I've just witnessed one of our graduates come out of the toilet and head straight back to his desk without washing his hands. His career here is as good as over.

@Priya89145760 @FourTet @TheHydraLdn £40

@Peleton11 @FourTet @TheHydraLdn How much ?

@fesshole Wtf still uses salad cream

I have started letting my kids have ketchup and salad cream on a Sunday roast because I couldn't think of a reason why mint sauce, apple sauce and horseradish etc are fine, but their favoured condiments aren't.