ryan around

@PayPal @eBay @Venmo your UX is so bad that if I locked all of your people in a box, like an escape room, no one would survive. Cheap talent = garbage output.

Oh hey micro managing midget pretending to lead @sfusd - let’s make something exceptionally clear. Your substitute can’t do the job and will be dealt with should they try to make kids stay longer, because – the district’s mess that was self-inflicted. Push and you’ll get pushed

Until @LastWeekTonight comes back I’m going to keep making ridiculous AI slop with Horse Oliver. instagram.com/therealhorseol… because it’s idiotic and fun.

@creditkarma gone wild! Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

@realjonslavet sorry boy. You’ll never win no matter how much money you burn. I know you’re thinking “I’ll prove you wrong” and I’ll have a field day leveraging service industry to have you questioning if you can safely eat out. California isn’t for you. Smooches

@LastWeekTonight while you’re off taking a well deserved break enjoy some AI Sora slop. I had a brain fart of an idea and thought for sure Sora would say NEIN but here we are. sora.chatgpt.com/p/s_691ecf228a…

The National Guard came to San Francisco and they’re ready to party like we do!

California.

Who is the fuck signed this Mayer Hawthorne trash panda let along poked him for @sfoutsidelands?? Someone needs to get throat punched. He’s trying to be sexy in his woke up like this outfit while stepping hard on Motown and badly. Fuck right back off to Michigan

@AdamSandler should get a trophy for nepobaby dad of the year.

@openthegreathwy will never succeed. Move. Especially that wonky dude from Jersey. No one likes Jersey and if you can’t hang here then go back home boy.

As a kid seeing @valkilmer in Real Genius was legendary. Later seeing @VancityReynolds doing Van Wilder? Spooky. Go watch both and Val the documentary. Val was the OG vlogger before that was remotely a thing. Thanks for the laughs and all you brought to so many.

@CaltransDist3 @CHP_Truckee @nevadadotreno But my car has magical AWD and is invincible! 🤭

Westbound Interstate 80 in Truckee all traffic is being held due to spinouts! Trucks are being held eastbound I-80 at Applegate and westbound I-80 at the state line due to spinouts and traction issues. Travel in the Sierra is not advised at this time @CHP_Truckee @nevadadotreno

@sfusd you’re going to deal with parents that aren’t going to take your ineptitude and it’s gonna be hilarious for me personally. Your dumb shit with middle school sports? Yeah I’m going to make people cry because you can’t manage anything to save your dying district.

@BlackCloudMc Someone that can barely form a sentence is more likely to die first. Cool story bruh.

@NWSBayArea You all need to be fired on the spot. You wake an entire city up before 6am for nothing and say “oh nevermind” less than 20 minutes later? You should be forced to stay awake for 2 days and lose your jobs. You pissed a lot of people off over nothing. Go home. You’re drunk.

Tornado threat for the city of San Francisco has ENDED, the storm has moved northeast of downtown. #CAwx

@NWSBayArea Fake tsunami. Fake tornado. The people responsible for waking us all up today need to be kept awake for days and then fired. Garbage humans shouldn’t have access to this system. 😡

📡Radar Update [5:45 AM] - A strong line of showers and thunderstorms are moving onshore across the North Bay and Bay Area. Strong wind gusts up to 60 MPH are the primary concern with these storms, along w/ brief downpours. #CAwx

@LondonBreed as a lame ass duck still can’t get shit done. Leave the city. Dont come back.

@Apple irony is integrating ChatGPT and Siri is still garbage asking how Bill Paxton died thinking I need emotional support services. Go to ChatGPT app and it works as expected. 🤦‍♂️

@Meta Guess layoffs weren’t a good idea after all…

We’re aware that a technical issue is impacting some users’ ability to access our apps. We’re working to get things back to normal as quickly as possible and apologize for any inconvenience.