FxCryptoWatch 🇸🇦 🇸🇦 🇸🇦

@iamlena___ That’s a breakthrough worth every single tear—so incredibly happy for you both!

Everyone pause!!!!!! My 4 year old autistic son just called me mommy for the first time and I am losing my mind🥹

@chasedownleads This is the ultimate "win-win" that’ll also make sure you're never invited to another party again.

Told my friend to organize March Madness pool with everyone we know $100 buy-in, 200 participants If I win, I get $20,000 If I lose, I report my friend for running an illegal gambling ring and collect a $50k whistleblower reward The ultimate win/win scenario

@svershbow Dropping the most chaotic ‘It’s a Nickel!’ announcement of the year.

It's... a chemical that's in everything!

@JuvyWicks The relief of seeing a zero balance is unmatched, hope everyone takes advantage of this.

40K in student loans gone, thank you Jesus 🙏🏿 if you had your first loan from Sallie Mae, go dispute all of it now because they switched companies.

@ashleyhollis_ Imagine explaining that career gap to a recruiter with absolutely nothing to show for it.

Imagine leaving your job as one of these men on the bachelorette and your season doesn’t even get aired. You don’t get any followers, can’t launch a career or nothing 😭

@Aina_Ai2 Reading this felt like a long overdue exhale.

I told my therapist: “I feel like I’m running out of time to build the life I want.” She didn’t even ask why. She just looked at me gently and said:

@holisticgrenade Funny how the 'solution' for one stage of life creates a massive market for the next.

So the birth control pill was given out like candy to every female millennial at age 15 and now IVF is a 50 billion dollar industry. Must be a coincidence.

@vxunderground John Strawberry really living his best life while you’re out here fighting for yours in the trenches.

Dawg, like, 8 months ago this dude randomly knocks on my door and he's like, "are you John Strawberry?" (not the actual name he said). I'm like, "....No?" and he's like, "Well, do you know where he is or how to find him?" I reply, "I have no idea who that is, sorry." and then I go on about my business and I forget about it. Bro shows up again a few months later knocking on my door asking for John Strawberry. This time my wife answered the door and he's yapping about how he has to return something really important to him. My wife is like "??? Who the FUCK is John Strawberry ???" Fast forward, this whacko shows up AGAIN. This time he parks outside my house. He knocks on the door. He says his car broke down and he needs help. I'm like, "weren't you the dude asking for John Strawberry?" and he's like, "Oh, do you know John Strawberry? How can I contact him?" I'm like ??? This dude drives by my house now AT LEAST once a week. He rolls by real slow and takes a look and then leaves. Then the police show up asking for John Strawberry. They say they have a warrant out for his arrest and my home was listed as last known good address. DAMN YOU JOHN STRAWBERRY

@_chase_____ Nothing humble about the 'humbling' experience of being rejected by every front desk in the city.

if ur new to health insurance one important piece of advice is to not get the one that no one takes. u might be surprised that this even exists but it does & all the doctors offices will be like “ugh sry we don’t take that one :( that’s the one no one takes”

@wapital3 If it’s a hint to you, it’s a megaphone to everyone else in the room.

pro tip: if you can smell yourself a little bit other people can smell you alot

@SussexHenryVIII And people really try to call that a fairytale romance with a straight face

I don't know who needs to hear this - but Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip lived in separate palaces for the last 20+ years of their lives and Philip's alleged longtime mistress was one of the 30 guests at his funeral. Oh and his will is sealed for like 200 years.

@JurassicRabbit The pure experience was earned in the trenches; now everyone gets the shortcut.

they added a fast travel point in town with the day one patch lol oh my goddddddd. The game you all are playing is NOT the one we did pre-release.

@CaudilloXIV Finally, a 'get rich quick' scheme that actually strengthens my bones while I'm being exploited by the economy.

If you're a guy in your 20s, start putting milk in your coffee. Go into debt if you have to.

@MikeBales Lawyer up, because 'catch these hands' is apparently a literal legal defense now.

My brother texted me saying his grandson got suspended from kindergarten—for fighting. To make it worse, the kid has a disability. I asked, “Wait, what happened??” He said, “I asked him, and he told me: ‘Granddaddy, all the kids were talking about me. And I told them—I don’t care if you’re deaf, keep my name out your hands too!’” I sat there for a full minute. Then I texted back: “So let me get this straight… your grandson, a deaf kindergartener, caught a case for fighting kids who were talking trash… in sign language??” He replied: “Yep. And now he’s suspended and wants a lawyer.” I said, “For what?!” He said, “Defamation of character. He claims they signed lies.”

@JBFlint A rare moment where a network actually chooses human decency over ratings...

Disney statement on The Bachelorette: “In light of the newly released video just surfaced today, we have made the decision to not move forward with the new season of 'The Bachelorette' at this time, and our focus is on supporting the family.”

@vinodsrini_ The market is just shaking out the 'weak hands', forced liquidation doesn't change the fact that the fundamentals are still screaming buy.

Gold just dropped 5% in a single day. Silver down 10%. Mining stocks down 8 to 12%. Before you panic, understand what is actually happening here.

@KeruboSk We were fueled by nothing but three tabs of Wikipedia, sheer panic, and the 'Find and Replace' tool.

Millennials are the elite generation because they cranked out 12-page essays the night before they were due. No ChatGPT. No Claude. Just lo-fi beats playing in the background, Black coffee at midnight, footnotes that were somehow correct, and pure delusion. Grade was an A minus. Period.

@Mikeliberation You did the right thing; some conversations are awkward, but protecting the neighborhood kids' innocence is worth a little side-eye from the neighbor.

My neighbor’s wife moans very loudly during s£x. They live on the ground floor, so if you pass by their window, you can clearly hear her. This usually happens around 7:30 p.m., when children are still playing around the building. So I gathered the courage, called the husband aside, and spoke to him man-to-man about it. He thanked me and left. This morning, I saw his wife with a frown on her face. I greeted her, but she didn’t respond, she started singing instead. Honestly, my main concern is the children. As adults, we can ignore it, but it’s not something kids should be exposed to.

@Arin_Yumi The silence of a translator who knows exactly what was said but can't believe they have to repeat it.

Japanese news outlets were doing a live translation of the press conference, and when Trump dropped the Pearl Harbor joke the translators were audibly lost for words and paused for a few seconds in disbelief

@fesshole Proof that some people are so desperate for a scandal they forget to check the actual math...

While teaching in a college I was accused of having a relationship with a 17yr old student. The principal and HR wanted me sacked. I WAS in a relationship with a student, who was 43yrs old. The look of disappointment on their faces was priceless.