PainfullyThinMordred

Apparently, I now have >0 followers. If any of you are reading this, I'd advise you to do something better with your time. I usually just make miserable and offensive comments on stuff, and use words like cnut, tw@t and pr1ck instead of cunt, twat and prick for no obvious reason.

@Parody_PM You also got the Brucie Bonus of the words Nazi and Green appearing together in the headline.

Phew! No mention of the fact that it was a Reform supporter. That's the sort of journalism we need.

@AJEnglish Donald Trump says, "Blah blah blah, blah blah blah me blah blah deal blah blah me blah blah never seen before blah blah blah blah...". If you just post this every day, you can spend all the time saved doing something more productive. You're welcome.

US President Donald Trump says he will “soon be reviewing the plan Iran has just sent to us”, but does not think he can make a deal. 🔴 Follow our LIVE coverage: aje.news/dmurqg

@MrMennoTweets The guy's obviously either just a prick who wants attention (mission accomplished), a prick who wants to spark a debate instead of doing his fucking job and educating people (ditto), or a prick who wants to wear fake tits to work for some other bellend reason. So, a prick.

Not sure why the Bald Beardy Boob Man debate centres so much around how someone dresses ***This is not about an item of clothing*** It’s about a man sporting HUGE RUBBER KNOCKERS

@enile @fesshole Yeah, if you can't measure to the nearest gram, have you really weighed your poo?

@TooManyEels @fesshole Bathroom scales will normally measure to within 100g. That’s about to the nearest turd 💩

My girlfriend has just bought some bathroom scales. I can't wait to work out how much my shits weigh with a pre and post movement weigh-in. It's the most excited I've been in years.

@SamaHoole Who has ice cream with their steak tho? Brrrr, yuk.

They don't ban meat outright. That would be too obvious. Instead they: - Price it out through regulation - Tax it for "the climate" - Subsidise the alternatives - Fund the studies that condemn it - Push plant-based menus in schools - Restrict where you can buy it - Shame you for wanting it Medieval lords used forest law and the gallows. Modern elites use policy papers and PR campaigns. The method is softer. The outcome is identical. The peasants stay weak. The elites stay strong. The meat stays on their plates and off yours. Go and look at what they eat at Davos. Then look at what's on the school menu. Then tell me it's about the planet.

@ClimateWarrior7 You can remove the word 'white' from that statement, and it'll still stand.

Gingers are NOT white people. Ginger is a separate race.

@IsraelMFA @Israel Aaargh me harties.

When dealing with a provocative flotilla of such a huge scale aiming to breach a lawful naval blockade, there is an operational necessity to act early and gradually in order to prevent escalation and to do so in a manner that avoids friction and violence. Moreover, this specific flotilla actively attempted to block an Israeli merchant vessel. This is why Israel acted early, peacefully, in accordance with international law, and with the aim of ensuring the safety and security of all those on board - and it will continue to do so.

@WhiteHouse Nice to see the Trump bellend back where it belongs. Trump. Bellend.

King Charles III presents President Trump with the original bell from the HMS Trump - a valiant WW2 era warship! 🇺🇸🇬🇧

@WhiteHouse Do you think there might've been any link to the noises that come out when his mouth moves, or the letters that happen when he presses buttons on his phone? Could that have anything to do with it, do you think?

The third attack in three years against President Trump was not random; it was the predictable result of years of reckless, inflammatory, & escalating rhetoric from Democrats.

@FirstLadyOffice @FLOTUS @MELANIATRUMP @POTUS @WhiteHouse @RoyalFamily At least Charlie only has to listen to Donny's nonsense for a few days. I can't imagine how it must be to be married to him.

🇺🇸🇬🇧

@ClimateWarrior7 What if someone reads this on Wednesday? What then?

I am a woman. If you disagree, you're going against modern science and advanced biology.

@BhhVgg @RpsAgainstTrump @grok I take it you're happy with him then? Do you think he's had a positive effect on America so far?

@TooManyEels @RpsAgainstTrump @grok Meh... When you're President, you can make the determination. Cope in the meantime.

This is fucking insane. They don’t even do this shit in North Korea or Russia. Go ahead MAGA, try defending this.

@TakeThatClouds Alas, t'was found to be seagull poo.

"we have white substance on our window and cars.. we live on the coast.." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Tell you what Marie, dip a damp finger in it and have a taste. Now have a wild guess what it might be.

@BhhVgg @RpsAgainstTrump @grok Wouldn't it be nicer to have a photo of, say, George Washington instead of a narcissistic miserable orange cunt tho?

@RpsAgainstTrump @grok Explain to this moron that this is the limited-edition commemorative passports to celebrate "America250" Explain like they are 5 years old...

@RpsAgainstTrump By the time any get printed, he'll likely be dead or in jail anyway, then they'll have to do a recall and wipe his rapey face from the record.

@TawhakiTheGod @wasnwrongpatty @Gilgame62654952 What's a flan, is it like a foreign quiche?

@wasnwrongpatty @Gilgame62654952 I don't care. His flan looks shit.

@TawhakiTheGod he took it well

@fesshole At a shop, whenever I buy a nut bar and they ask if I have any allergies, I have to really concentrate to stop myself saying 'nuts'. One day it's going to slip out, and I'll be the one sending in a fess.

When I buy food for immediate consumption and I'm asked if i want a receipt I reply, "It's ok, I'm not going to bring it back tomorrow" I feel terrible as I've become a middle aged man with a 'joke' that the poor worker has to laugh politely at and as probably heard before.

@AJEnglish Whatever people might think about Charles, he's an extremely intelligent man. Spending four days with Trump will be like having his fingernails peeled off slowly without being allowed to scream.

Britain’s King Charles III and Queen Camilla were greeted at the White House by US President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania to begin a four-day state visit. The celebration comes as the US prepares to mark the 250th anniversary of its independence from the UK.

@DerryBanShee @UniofOxford On the other hand, at least he's not claiming to be a woman. He may look ridiculous, and there's gotta be some weird shit going on in his head, but he's not trying to say he's female.

How did we reach the point where a male lecturer at @UniofOxford can wear gigantic fake breasts, with cleavage, and everyone else is expected to ignore it?