@HigherEd_ITGuy @ass_deans Did you convince @ass_deans to stop filling our faculty inbox with garbage?
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HEheheheSpecialist
211 posts
HEheheheSpecialist
@HigherED_Ass
higherEd admin assistant. fluent in #sarcasm. over worked. under paid.
Campus. Inbox. Excel. Beigetreten Nisan 2022
90 Folgt76 Follower
Whelp, that didn't age well.
Less than one hour after posting, the student information system went down.🤦♂️
HigherEd ITGuy@HigherEd_ITGuy
First day of classes. Thousands of people are on campus for the first time in months. Central IT: We don't anticipate any issues. Everything is working as it should. All of us in the trenches:
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@ass_deans And of course, non descriptive area without oversight that will need an extra hand to get acclimated to the uni…
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We hired a new dean and more staff in the college so we’ll need you to do more work.
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If you caught your students cheating, you need to do a better job teaching. How are they supposed to succeed if they are getting caught? They’ll never succeed in corporate America if they can’t get away with college-level cheating.
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Don’t forget you need to submit book orders even if you don’t use a textbook.
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@ass_deans Most likely emailed to work email on Friday evening and access revoked by Sunday.
Read by zero faculty.
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HR accidentally sent termination letters to all of the faculty. Many of you will get an apology. Others should accept the first letter at face value. You know who you are.
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@DeanoftWorld @ass_deans Since you gave me access to autopen and all your log in credentials already -
Probably should be wary @ass_deans
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I'm not sure who I'm more afraid to sign random documents for, @HigherED_Ass or @ass_deans
This doesn't mean I'll start reading them, I just wanted to acknowledge my feelings.
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@ass_deans Sitting on the dean search committee must be fun.
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Our hiring process next year will be a reality tv show with applicants going through a series of challenges to win the job. Think of it as a combination of Fear Factor, Survivor and the Bachelor. It’s going to be great!
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Me and @DeanoftWorld deciding what the next MFA authentication will require - for faculty only, of course. Looking forward to the reaction of @ProfGoat
GIF
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@ProfGoat @ass_deans That one new staff member is replacement for the 6 that we lost in the past 3 years.
Money for new staff is chump change compared to another ass_dean. But go on, we need a new ass dean to oversee the deans and VPs.
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@ass_deans Money for new staff members but not money for new proffies...or even money to keep our current proffies.
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Dear Faculty - Our new college staff member isn’t here to help you. They are here to watch you. And report you! So please do what they say in a timely manner.
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@DeanoftWorld The other lots will be occupied by contractors.
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Dear Faculty,
The parking lot near your building will be closed until further notice due to a burst water main. Please do not ask to have your parking pass pro-rated you can still park in the other lot on the other side of campus.
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AdminAss at 4:45pm on Friday: When you get a chance, can you...
Same AdminAss at 8:01am on the following Monday: I haven't heard back from you yet. When will you be able to look at my problem?
Literal me:
GIF
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@CatWorkers The correct question is
“Cat let you in bed?”
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“You let a cat in your bed?”
I’d let a cat borrow my electric sander if he asked.
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@DeanoftWorld The University is also aware of the under staffing situation. We can’t hire more staff because we spent our budget creating another ass dean.
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Dear Faculty,
Many have had new questions about the University's new memo. To clarify, they did not say burnout isn't real. Burnout is simply not a problem that requires the University's attention.
Thanks!
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At least they’re in boxes and definitely look drier than our HR storage room.
Department of Government Efficiency@DOGE
Federal employee retirements are processed using paper, by hand, in an old limestone mine in Pennsylvania. 700+ mine workers operate 230 feet underground to process ~10,000 applications per month, which are stored in manila envelopes and cardboard boxes. The retirement process takes multiple months.
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Looks like a cinnamon roll, is cinnamon roll: @HigherEd_ITGuy
Looks like a cinnamon roll, could kill you: @HigherED_Ass
Looks like could kill you, is cinnamon roll: @FacultyDean
Looks like could kill you, could kill you: @ass_deans
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Random thought-
If ass dean does not report to a dean, is ass dean just an ass?
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@ass_deans We will also cut you off from the network for the greater good of our community.
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Your computer is working fine. To protect the network, we put in safeguards that keep you from doing anything that might look like data analysis or transfer.
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@DeanoftWorld @HigherEd_ITGuy @HigherEd_Minion Procurement office only approved green pens, vendor said 6-36 months.
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@HigherED_Ass @HigherEd_ITGuy @HigherEd_Minion Speaking of which we need more of those overpriced pens I like. Is twelve boxes enough?
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@HigherEd_ITGuy @DeanoftWorld @HigherEd_Minion Actually that’s not part of my portfolio. I just have to make sure we order enough pencils.
GIF
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@DeanoftWorld Proofread?! That why @HigherED_Ass and @HigherEd_Minion were hired. You don't want to take work from them, when they're here to take work from you, right?
GIF
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