Prof. Goat

We noticed you haven’t responded to any of the retirement planning emails we have sent you. Do we need to send them more frequently?

@UnitedCanucks26 You punt on 3rd down. Go sit down.

I’m so grateful Canada 🇨🇦 is not America! -We have publicly funded healthcare! -Gun bans and no permit to carry. -We protect animal habitats and conserve our land. -Abortion is entirely legal and publicly funded across Canada. -We have An Explicit Constitutional Right to Vote Finally Canada is inclusive, diverse & stunningly beautiful.🍁

@DanhockeyFan @dirk_fasshauer I was being nice. I did not even mention Beef O'Brady's and Buc-ees. The Europoor mind cannot concieve of Buc-ees.

@ProfGoat @dirk_fasshauer That attitude right there is why no one around the world likes Americans. USA is one of those places where you visit and think “yeah it was nice but the people are arrogant and annoying”.

Modesty is not an American quality.

Dear Americans 🇺🇸 I hope you’ve thoroughly enjoyed my expert breakdowns of your favorite game lately. You’ve learned so much from me: - Why your “sport” is stupid - Why our athletes are clearly superior - How easily we could dominate you at handegg if we gave a shit (we don’t) Most importantly, now you know exactly what the rest of us have had to suffer through listening to your opinions about the World Cup. Love you 🇳🇴

What is something the United States of America does better than any other country?

@MATTDUNN_radio @USMNT @FIFAWorldCup I know. They beat the equivalent of the Jamaican Bobsled team and they go on and on? 😂

Why are Europeans still talking about @USMNT ? We’re out of the @FIFAWorldCup but they’re still talking For our team/fans supposedly being “arrogant” “self centered” “no respect or understanding for the game” “irrelevant” ETC…THEY are STILL talking about us 🤔 Weirdly obsessive

@LCplofMarines75 That's still going on?

Americans are now only allowed to root for 4 remaining teams in the World Cup - Argentina - England - Norway - Switzerland

@RickvonStauff Gregged! 😂😂😂

Today, Belgium is known for kicking the US's ass in soccer and sending them packing from the World Cup.

@RodKahx You've been Gregged

Wow.

@sciencey274807 @ass_deans Nope.

@ProfGoat @ass_deans Your math, so you should be safe. I hope.

Meeting with my ex in 75 minutes: my ex @ass_deans (and Dean), that is. Wish me luck! I wonder if I should pee on my face one more time prior to the meeting? 🤔

* Chocolate * Crispy fries * Beer * Democracy ..... and now football! (Yes, it's called football, not soccer).

@sciencey274807 @ass_deans Cut the major. Pro tip: even if they violate the legally binding handbook, they have more lawyers and can outlast you in court.

@ProfGoat @ass_deans How do they do that? Reorganize the department?

beating America

@Dispropoganda Pfft. Get back to us when you get this.

Dear Americans, this is how much of Europe it took to beat you in the world cup in your own home. Try being a little bit more humble next time.

@Peter_Bukowski Most of the rest of the world does not care about women's soccer.

What’s the best explanation you’ve heard for why the US women kick ass in soccer and the US men, well … don’t?

@Strangeland_Elf The highlighted part IS accurate. By and large, Americans do not care about soccer

I absolutely detest the people talking like this.

@TheMuppetPastor Yep. I was like: "oh, is it on? Mrs. Goat: should we watch?" Her: "sure!" Me: "we are in blue, right?" Her: "I think so." Me: "the white team keeps kicking the ball into our net. That is...bad?" Her: "I think so."

Congrats to Belgium for crushing the US team. They folded like a cheap suit. And yes, we talked a big game, so I expect the jokes to continue. What Europe doesn’t understand is that half the country doesn’t even know there was a game last night, and the half that was rooting for the USA has already moved on to baseball and anticipating college/NFL football. Far from being devastated, Americans just shrugged. It’s not a soul crushing loss like it would be for other nations because we have many other sports.

@MaMoMVPY "Lars" 😂😂😂 Get back to us when you have Waffle Houses!

Never have I seen as many insecure men as over the past 24 hours...and yes they are all American.

@sciencey274807 @ass_deans Tenure does not mean squat! Tenured people were let go.

@ProfGoat @ass_deans Tell the dean off. Your tenured!