Prof. Goat

We’ve moved religious studies into sociology, just to confuse the board.

I had a chance to read your annual report. Thanks for sharing your Google scholar cite count compared to everyone else in your department. Oddly, removing self citations you don’t do quite as well. But at least now I understand why your chair rated you low for collegiality.

@ass_deans This is no longer satire!

We are pleased to announce our new fast pass degree plan. For a premium, students can skip all those annoying classes, get a sheet of paper that says “degree,” and fast forward to graduation without any of the inconvenience of coming to campus or going to classes.

@ass_deans Idea: why not let the Dean decide grades! It would save me a lot of grading!

My favorite time of year! Overturning faculty grades so students can graduate!

@PhD_Genie 4-5 years from retirement

What was the moment you realized that academia wasn't for you?

@ass_deans Lol..no goats this time for us.

Finals week means Baby Goat Yoga on the quad! Also, we are cutting travel budgets again.

I don't think we (academics) realize how vulnerable we are. I'm not sure how much longer tenure will last in an era when a) we've lost the public trust (for a lot of reasons, b) college/academia is a partisan political issue, and c) college-educated white-collar workers are losing their jobs to AI. We are in an incredibly privileged position relative to others, but that privilege also makes us far more precarious than most academics realize bc it makes us a target--and the threat is not just conservative politicians gunning for us but the much larger group of regular people who don't mind if we get put in our place or start losing our jobs like similar others or being asked to do tasks we don't want to do.

@td_nash Ali. Look at who he beat vs who Tyson beat. Remember that Liston was as feared as Tyson was.

If these two boxers had fought, who do you think would have won?🧐

We had a rain storm. So a student wanted to take the exam remotely. 🙄

@mathladyhazel e^ln(2) = 2

Show that there exist irrational numbers x and y such that x^y is rational.

@SimplyKatie___ I served in the nuclear navy and got my PhD at an R1. I am comfortable being the "dumbest one in the room" because I am used to it.

What’s the best way to handle someone who’s more knowledgeable or intelligent than you?

@mathtech789 81

(10!-9!)/8!=?

@AnalysisFact Or, -W(g,h)/h^2 where W is the Wronskian

Quotient rule in a form that suggests a way to generalize to repeated derivatives

I got hit on my female students: 1992 and in 1995. The one in 1995 asked me to lunch. The then "Mrs Goat to be" said that she was hitting on me. 😁 This has not been a problem for me in decades.

@Quasilocal D^2 x I

take that, topologists

@HawkEmDownChris Ken Norton, Dieon Sanders, Charles Hayley

@HawkEmDownChris Payton Manning, Earl Morral, Preston Pearson, Tom Brady

Without googling, name a player who won a Super Bowl with two different teams.

Once again, we are looking for faculty volunteers to cook late night pancakes to energize our students while they are studying for finals!

@writergirl410 @ass_deans A donor

@ProfGoat @ass_deans Who is the portrait of? It looks like Mustafa Kamal.

In a meeting to start our search for our next Dean. Is @ass_deans going to apply? The faculty are so cute: they think that their voice matters!