@HigherEd_ITGuy @ass_deans Did you convince @ass_deans to stop filling our faculty inbox with garbage?
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HEheheheSpecialist
211 posts
HEheheheSpecialist
@HigherED_Ass
higherEd admin assistant. fluent in #sarcasm. over worked. under paid.
Campus. Inbox. Excel. Katılım Nisan 2022
90 Takip Edilen76 Takipçiler
Whelp, that didn't age well.
Less than one hour after posting, the student information system went down.🤦♂️
HigherEd ITGuy@HigherEd_ITGuy
First day of classes. Thousands of people are on campus for the first time in months. Central IT: We don't anticipate any issues. Everything is working as it should. All of us in the trenches:
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@ass_deans And of course, non descriptive area without oversight that will need an extra hand to get acclimated to the uni…
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We hired a new dean and more staff in the college so we’ll need you to do more work.
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If you caught your students cheating, you need to do a better job teaching. How are they supposed to succeed if they are getting caught? They’ll never succeed in corporate America if they can’t get away with college-level cheating.
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Don’t forget you need to submit book orders even if you don’t use a textbook.
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@ass_deans Most likely emailed to work email on Friday evening and access revoked by Sunday.
Read by zero faculty.
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HR accidentally sent termination letters to all of the faculty. Many of you will get an apology. Others should accept the first letter at face value. You know who you are.
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@DeanoftWorld @ass_deans Since you gave me access to autopen and all your log in credentials already -
Probably should be wary @ass_deans
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I'm not sure who I'm more afraid to sign random documents for, @HigherED_Ass or @ass_deans
This doesn't mean I'll start reading them, I just wanted to acknowledge my feelings.
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@ass_deans Sitting on the dean search committee must be fun.
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Our hiring process next year will be a reality tv show with applicants going through a series of challenges to win the job. Think of it as a combination of Fear Factor, Survivor and the Bachelor. It’s going to be great!
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Me and @DeanoftWorld deciding what the next MFA authentication will require - for faculty only, of course. Looking forward to the reaction of @ProfGoat
GIF
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@ProfGoat @ass_deans That one new staff member is replacement for the 6 that we lost in the past 3 years.
Money for new staff is chump change compared to another ass_dean. But go on, we need a new ass dean to oversee the deans and VPs.
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@ass_deans Money for new staff members but not money for new proffies...or even money to keep our current proffies.
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Dear Faculty - Our new college staff member isn’t here to help you. They are here to watch you. And report you! So please do what they say in a timely manner.
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@DeanoftWorld The other lots will be occupied by contractors.
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Dear Faculty,
The parking lot near your building will be closed until further notice due to a burst water main. Please do not ask to have your parking pass pro-rated you can still park in the other lot on the other side of campus.
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AdminAss at 4:45pm on Friday: When you get a chance, can you...
Same AdminAss at 8:01am on the following Monday: I haven't heard back from you yet. When will you be able to look at my problem?
Literal me:
GIF
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@CatWorkers The correct question is
“Cat let you in bed?”
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“You let a cat in your bed?”
I’d let a cat borrow my electric sander if he asked.
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@DeanoftWorld The University is also aware of the under staffing situation. We can’t hire more staff because we spent our budget creating another ass dean.
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Dear Faculty,
Many have had new questions about the University's new memo. To clarify, they did not say burnout isn't real. Burnout is simply not a problem that requires the University's attention.
Thanks!
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At least they’re in boxes and definitely look drier than our HR storage room.
Department of Government Efficiency@DOGE
Federal employee retirements are processed using paper, by hand, in an old limestone mine in Pennsylvania. 700+ mine workers operate 230 feet underground to process ~10,000 applications per month, which are stored in manila envelopes and cardboard boxes. The retirement process takes multiple months.
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Looks like a cinnamon roll, is cinnamon roll: @HigherEd_ITGuy
Looks like a cinnamon roll, could kill you: @HigherED_Ass
Looks like could kill you, is cinnamon roll: @FacultyDean
Looks like could kill you, could kill you: @ass_deans
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Random thought-
If ass dean does not report to a dean, is ass dean just an ass?
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@ass_deans We will also cut you off from the network for the greater good of our community.
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Your computer is working fine. To protect the network, we put in safeguards that keep you from doing anything that might look like data analysis or transfer.
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@DeanoftWorld @HigherEd_ITGuy @HigherEd_Minion Procurement office only approved green pens, vendor said 6-36 months.
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@HigherED_Ass @HigherEd_ITGuy @HigherEd_Minion Speaking of which we need more of those overpriced pens I like. Is twelve boxes enough?
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@HigherEd_ITGuy @DeanoftWorld @HigherEd_Minion Actually that’s not part of my portfolio. I just have to make sure we order enough pencils.
GIF
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@DeanoftWorld Proofread?! That why @HigherED_Ass and @HigherEd_Minion were hired. You don't want to take work from them, when they're here to take work from you, right?
GIF
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