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THE Dean
1.2K posts
THE Dean
@FacultyDean
Juggling provost, admin staff, IT, alumni, donors and parents is the easy part. The true challenge is herding cats (faculty) and peacocks (THE associate deans).
The corner office Katılım Nisan 2020
330 Takip Edilen878 Takipçiler
@LokiHighlock Please do not interrupt my Northern hemisphere August il(de?)lusion of being eternally exposed to 25C while sipping my sunset whiskey with such a realistic visual of what lies ahead 90 days from now.
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It's a well-known fact that the best way to fix the issue of declining enrollment is to increase the of administrators.
👩🏼💻Allison Curry👩🏼💻@AllisonETEC
District: Funding is flat, we’ll need to make cuts to your school’s supply budget and take away a counselor. Make it work. ⬇️ District: This downtown department still needs an assistant director even though their FTE has dropped by 70% and we’ve closed 5 schools.
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@ass_deans You in the posse of deans once I am @SrAssocVProvost ? I don’t think so. The whole point is to create two degrees of separation between us. Finally.
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I am half glass full kind of person.
Sure things are bad now, but a lot of dean and VP jobs are about to open up! No better time to be an aspiring associate dean!
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Uniquely spiced insight.
Also, high in calories.
Dean of the World, PhD@DeanoftWorld
Looks like a cinnamon roll, is cinnamon roll: @HigherEd_ITGuy Looks like a cinnamon roll, could kill you: @HigherED_Ass Looks like could kill you, is cinnamon roll: @FacultyDean Looks like could kill you, could kill you: @ass_deans
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It is hard to be an associate dean for as long as I have. Most associate deans move up to become a dean or go back to their “first love” of teaching or research. But here I am 25 years and going strong!
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@ReadTheSyllabus The batteries are big on those EVs. Sustainability has a footprint.
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The Dean appreciates the concerns about his age, energy, and competence but wants to remind you that you can’t make him step down and he still thinks he is the best person for the job.
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@HenryWFowler - I think you might enjoy this one:
‘The study wasn’t designed to answer whether there is a casual relationship between the two.’
They are not talking about tennis buddies but a drug and its effect.
Casual vs causal
@nationalpost
National Post@nationalpost
Ozempic and Wegovy linked with higher risk of rare blinding eye condition in new Harvard study nationalpost.com/news/ozempic-a…
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Rumors that @HigherEd_ITGuy has been mandated by @SrAssocVProvost to disable the reply-to-all function in my email client to avoid yet another blunder are wildly exaggerated.
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Memo to the sleuths: Given that @ass_deans and I are in the eclipse path, here is you chance to narrow down our affiliation. Wishing you clear skies!
Associate Deans@ass_deans
We’ll be sending staff around to make sure you are teaching during the eclipse tomorrow. Meanwhile, we are having a watch party just outside the admin building.
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THE Dean retweetledi
We’ll be sending staff around to make sure you are teaching during the eclipse tomorrow. Meanwhile, we are having a watch party just outside the admin building.
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@noschool4me @ass_deans I didn’t think having dinner with anybody’s a crime. ‘Not yet’ she answered …
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@aliciaandrz Rumors that I endorse professors holding both jobs as long as the link to their account is declared in their annual activity report are wildly exaggerated.
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I’ve had two female professors confide in me that they have fantasies of leaving academia & starting an onlyfans instead for more money, better work-life balance, & less exploitation—& I don’t know y’all, the way they framed it made a lot more sense than the joke should.
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@MarkManger @fgenovese__ Tsk tsk, but we do spring for a cup of coffee for the candidate while they wait for the other candidates interviewed on the same day for the same position to finish their presentations!
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@fgenovese__ Further inquiries might have revealed that many German universities either don’t cover travel for candidates or only a train ticket…
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Brief academic story.
July 2022: I am encouraged to apply for a job in Germany. I apply.
February 2023: A semi-cryptic email invites me to send more documents to be considered as part of the short list. Documents are essentially the same as sent in 2022, but yeah ok fine.
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I’m excited to be joining @FloridaTech as the new provost! It will be great to partner with @FloridaTechPrez to improve the university.
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@SrAssocVProvost @DeanoftWorld @brclothwrites @StrandedAssoci1 The cabinet is well stocked, as always. But getting a taste of it requires the requisite dedication to your service portfolio.
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@DeanoftWorld @brclothwrites My New Year’s resolution is to have even less respect for people, especially @FacultyDean and @StrandedAssoci1. Unless they have booze or they’re writing checks to the university.
GIF
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Have you ever looked into someone’s eyes and seen NO soul?
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@IngNdolo @ass_deans No screen figure can remotely approximate @ass_deans unique combination of dubious talents, intolerable obnoxiousness, omnipresent relevance, and druglike irreplaceability. Alas.
#StockholmSyndrom
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@SrAssocVProvost Not sure whether it is you or Facilities Management that deserves the bragging rights for breaking the souls of deans.
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With deans, we hire really bright people and put them in impossible situations. Then we change everything without telling them. It’s pure entertainment.
Associate Deans@ass_deans
I wish college faculty were competent enough that I had to actively undermine them. They are perfectly capable of undermining themselves. It’s the only thing some of them are really good at.
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