In another world I kill my dad for being horny and talking to 21 year old girls at the bar
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Derek “Fugazi” Jeter
650 posts
Derek “Fugazi” Jeter
@DerekNotJeter
Hokie sports enjoyer🦃 | Clinically depressed Yankees fan | Coors Light lover | little league sportsmanship award recipient
Blacksburg, VA Joined Eylül 2017
199 Following71 Followers
@acouplabeers I get horny and can’t help myself sometimes
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@DerekNotJeter Of course the first thing on my feed when I open the app in public is porn smh #beerporn
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Derek “Fugazi” Jeter retweeted
Making my bed in case I bring a lady back tn for the 46th time this year. I’m 0-45
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57 years old and this is how we pour beers. What the hell are we doing
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@acouplabeers I’m boycotting champs for banquets going from $2 to $3
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@DerekNotJeter Don’t worry I’ll be doing that, just at champs probably
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@acouplabeers Not a bad play. I try to drink as much as possible and forget about my existence
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@DerekNotJeter I’m going on strike against sharks it’s been full of queers lately and it’s pmo
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Saturday scaries kicking in because I can’t drink for another three days
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Are heads doing beers yet? Just curious how it’s going
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The sounds coming out of this guy in the bathroom are unlike anything I’ve ever heard in my life. Hope he’s doing ok in there
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Sometimes I rip silent farts in public just so I can see if anyone around me reacts
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Total pitcher count was 18. Not a bad performance
Derek “Fugazi” Jeter@DerekNotJeter
I can die happy
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@BudFosterBurner @CBSDickFitzwell It’s not weird if ifs just as friends
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@CBSDickFitzwell @DerekNotJeter can we interlock, just as friends
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Ordering a loaded barrel shot tonight AKA that’s when you put the barrel of a loaded gun in your mouth and then you pu—
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Formal date ditched me at the bar and is currently hooking up with a random dude in the hotel room I paid for
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