Mark W

@maldonsalt what’s the record size for a salt crystal in one of your boxes?!

Any trick-or-treaters who knock on the factory door tonight will be thrown into the blending machine. It's like in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but instead of being shrunk or turned into a blueberry, you get portioned into 10,000 tea bags and sold in Tesco.

This video of Donald Trump singing “It wasn’t me” is now TRENDING. Can we get #ItWasntMe trending to the top?

Sold a thing on @eBay_UK and used their integrated @YodelOnline delivery service. Buyer needed item Friday. Platform estimated Thursday throughout, dispatched same day, only to find delivery changed to Saturday after I’d dropped the parcel off. Buyer angry. Who’s responsible?

Not just me then. @SkyHelpTeam have logged off since 9pm and I’d love to log in to report my internet being down, but that’s broken too. #skybroadband

@HagertyUK How did that ever happen?

What would be your 5 word car review for the Vauxhall Sintra? #5WordCarReview

@StateOfLinkedIn And then a call from the vet. Baxter was the vet. And a candidate.

@musichalltavern Told you it’d stretch - thanks for a brilliant show ladies! #suckingin

Big shout to @MySamsonite for making luggage repairable with affordable spares. Blown wheel bearing fixed with a £7 replacement assembly gives years more life to my stuff.

Retweet if I’d be a better PM than Truss.

As a… – subscriber I want to… – receive a marketing email informing me I will not be receiving marketing emails this weekend out of respect for Queen Elizabeth II so that… – I do not panic when my highly-anticipated marketing emails do not arrive

@guyincognito_io @ShitUserStory Truly, I wish I could say no.

@costyp Well said mate. There’s a time and a place for it all, but this won’t be it.

Times might be pretty awful but @YorkshireTea have finally got Toast and Jam into my local @Tesco so y’know what, it’s not all bad 🫖🍞🍓

@shitPM It’s not even real NPS. This upsets me on multi levels.

NPS has gone too far this time!

Holy shit @joelycett giving me the biggest laugh of the opening ceremony #B2022

@GreatDrivingDay We’re these not the days when one could simply pick up the phone and ask the operator for Windsor 56702 and not need to know a dial code?

40 minutes end to end - realised the security queue isn’t bad because EVERYONE IS ALREADY IN T3

#MAN @manairport T3 Security queue is long but moving efficiently. Staff actively asking for ppl flying in <1hr to shout up. Keep up the good work folks.